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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of all the boy bashing threads?

114 replies

Prettybluepigeons · 05/09/2020 12:07

Angry Honest to god, if I have to read one more thread from someone feeling 'sad or ' so disappointed ' that they are unfortunate enough to be be carrying a healthy male child, I will go pop! Ffs! Can you Imagine if it was the other way round and there were loads of threads expressing disappointment at girls?

Never getting to go shopping/for spa days/be a mother of a bride! So fucking what!!

Be thankful for what you get and create the relationship you want!

OP posts:
Letmegetthisrightasawoman · 05/09/2020 20:31

So not actually threads like this at all then...Confused

Girl bashing and boy bashing are not the same as gender disappointment. I think you'll find that the vast majority of gender disappointment threads are by women who are expecting a boy. And that is what the OP is objecting to here.

Iwantafuckingbreak · 05/09/2020 20:38

I say YABU gender disappointment is a real thing. I've never experienced true gender disappointment however i have 3 sons and I admit I was slightly disappointed for about a day with my last, because he is my last child and It would have been nice to have had a girl but i wouldnt have it any other way now. People should be able to feel how they feel without added judgement.

Advicewouldbeappreciated · 05/09/2020 21:10

@Letmegetthisrightasawoman

So not actually threads like this at all then...Confused

Girl bashing and boy bashing are not the same as gender disappointment. I think you'll find that the vast majority of gender disappointment threads are by women who are expecting a boy. And that is what the OP is objecting to here.

She can object all she likes. It is a phenomenon which is valid and if it is more prevalent with boys then it is. op can object to what she wants.
pollysproggle · 05/09/2020 21:16

There is definitely a preference for baby girls in my experience I find it so odd.

I've just had my third boy, he's only 3 months old and I've been asked 5 times since his birth (including by a woman in the hospital ward when he was a day old) if I'm going to try again for a girl.

'Are you going to keep going until you get your little princess?' Was the one that made me want to ring the woman's neck.

No disappointment from me because of the sex of my children but people have definitely been disappointed on my behalf!

JanewaysBun · 05/09/2020 21:31

Yanbu
my DS is an absolute legend and I wouldn't swap him for anyone else. My MIL is also a legend so I'm lucky to have that positive role model as a mum of a son.

I remember when I was pg with DS a lady asked if I was ok with having a boy. She was someone who had never been able to have kids and had years of MCs so I was gobsmacked that this thought would enter her mind...

Advicewouldbeappreciated · 05/09/2020 21:35

@pollysproggle

There is definitely a preference for baby girls in my experience I find it so odd.

I've just had my third boy, he's only 3 months old and I've been asked 5 times since his birth (including by a woman in the hospital ward when he was a day old) if I'm going to try again for a girl.

'Are you going to keep going until you get your little princess?' Was the one that made me want to ring the woman's neck.

No disappointment from me because of the sex of my children but people have definitely been disappointed on my behalf!

This. If you are pregnant with a boy people apologise to you They apologise more if it is a subsequent boy By a 3rd boy you are made to feel a failure
Piglet89 · 05/09/2020 21:50

@Tatatatata

My disappointment actually more stems from the fact I suffered with fertility issues for a long time and this is likely to be my only pregnancy and I am a bit sad that means I probably won't ever have chance to have a daughter in the future. In fact I've specifically said a few times on said thread that it doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to having my son.

Suffered fertility issues myself. Was lucky enough to have a baby. He’s a boy. Given the fact I thought we wouldn’t be able to have any children at all, was delighted just to have a child. He’ll very likely to be my only one. But I was just absolutely delighted and thought I was so fortunate to be pregnant at all; sex of that child genuinely didn’t matter.

Marlena1 · 05/09/2020 22:13

I definitely got this more the other way around. My sis even said "hopefully a boy this time, then you'll be done". Nope, wanted 2 healthy babies, either gender, got two. Not dismissing disappointment just saying works both ways.

crumbleonsunday · 05/09/2020 22:16

I think it's entirely normal for women to want to have baby girls.

I actively wanted a boy actually.

cologne4711 · 05/09/2020 22:19

Given everyone is going on about gender on here, rather than sex, I suspect it ain't a problem because the child will happily change its "gender" to whatever you wanted in the first place Grin

I really wanted a girl and got a boy. But I think it was probably the right thing in hindsight. I couldn't have been doing with ballet lessons or dramas about what to wear and I am not a very girlie girl myself.

Not sure why people are so funny about other people having boys (not experienced it myself). Don't they want husbands/boyfriends for their daughters or are we so woke that we expect all our girls to marry other women these days?

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 05/09/2020 22:56

YANBU. They piss me off too. Ungrateful and insensitive.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 05/09/2020 23:07

So not actually threads like this at all then

Did you read the comments on that thread?

So, once again, there's just as much 'girl bashing', which is also being demonstrated on this thread.

cactusdog · 05/09/2020 23:07

I agree and have felt the same, there's always a thread running on it and it's not pleasant

imissthesouth · 05/09/2020 23:16

I think MN in general has a sort of hate towards men/boys. Unfortunately after years being oppressed by them it's hard not to. I love my DS and DD equally. I'd never complain about my child being a different gender than i wanted. Many people can't have children so i'm eternally grateful for mine❤️

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