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AIBU?

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Original poster

For reporting large gathering

234 replies

specksdrugsandsausagerolls · 03/09/2020 21:04

Name changed for this because it might be outing. My neighbours are horsey and have about 30 acres of land.

I bumped into the husband this morning on a dog walk and asked him what the big marquee was for (they have all kinds of horsey events on there throughout the year - camps etc). He said it was his daughters 30th so they were having a hog roast and disco tomorrow night. He then said me and my partner would be welcome to join if we wanted, I just smiled and thanked him and then as I carried on my dog walk I got more and more irate thinking of all the people coming from all over to my neighbour for this party - I wished I'd said something but honestly I was so surprised they were doing it!
His wife then invited me via FB to the FB event - it has 120 invited with 87 marked as "going".
I'm not a fun sponge, really I'm not, but with coronavirus I think this is wholly unnecessary. I'm also not usually the sort of person to think of reporting people but we're rural, we have been blessed with low numbers, I'm angry they're doing this. WIBU to report them and if not... how?!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 04/09/2020 13:06

Agree op. Since you’re so civic minded and worried about the elderly, and would feel rotten if he got a fine, why didn’t you inform him that you politely decline his invite and will be informing the police about the party to boot? Don’t want him to know you’re that person?

Look, just go, have a dance, enjoy the hog roast, make some new friends. It’s a much more pleasant way to spend your time rather than thinking about reporting to the police then all the curtain twitching you can do to see if they turn up

KeepingPlain · 04/09/2020 13:51

Can I ask all the 'OP is a fun sponge, just leave it' posters will feel if/when we all end up under some kind of lockdown around Christmas?

That was my thought too, I'd bet they'll be first to jump and whine, bitch and moan that their Christmas has been ruined by all the dreadful people not obeying the rules. That they of course have stuck to brilliantly. Hmm

I think we will have a lockdown over Christmas to be honest. Not too bothered, means a quieter Christmas, but will suck to not see family. I'm anticipating the worst though, anything else is a positive then.

Elephantday82 · 04/09/2020 13:57

No I wouldn’t report it. I’d go along and have fun!

Original poster
specksdrugsandsausagerolls · 04/09/2020 13:59

I'm not going to attend because I don't think that's a sensible thing to do.

I'm not going to report because whilst I'm pissed off that it's happening, I would feel sly reporting them.

I don't want to broach the subject with him or the family. They're educated people, I have no doubt in my mind that they are aware of the guidance and the fact that the party goes against this. I am not a confrontational person.

I'll be very British, be silently annoyed that a large party with lots of people from outside the area is taking place a few hundred yards from my house, but I won't say anything about it, and that will be that. Only on MN would you get a barrage of shit wit responses for wanting to do the right thing.

OP posts:
Aridane · 04/09/2020 14:03

This is why it would be constructive for OP to potentially either communicate with the party holders or even go along for half an hour to scout it out and see for herself.

Eh - why the fuck should OP have to undertake an site risk assessment? Hmm

MsTSwift · 04/09/2020 14:04

In our small city it was wet and dark and there were hundreds of ravers so the police took the decision not to break it up on safety grounds. There was lots of comments locally on this decision believe me! We are 3 miles away the music woke us and kept going until 10am ish Sunday morning so the whole city was tired. Must have been extremely loud for those closer. We were quite a distance and lost a nights sleep.

Aridane · 04/09/2020 14:04

What would put me off reporting would be souring neighbourly relations if apparent report was from me (in the unlikely event police followed up)

Aridane · 04/09/2020 14:05

The elderly and vulnerable can still continue to shield.

Yawn

redcarbluecar · 04/09/2020 14:05

I think that’s the right decision OP. Going to the police is, in its way, also a confrontational act (or could lead to one) so, if that’s not in your nature, ignoring sounds like the best policy.

Devlesko · 04/09/2020 14:05

Keep your big trunky snout out
HTH

Aridane · 04/09/2020 14:09

OP, if you feel strongly about it why don't you tell the neighbour that what he is planning to do is illegal and if he intends to proceed you are going to be reporting him to police? Any decent human being would inform a friendly neighbour rather than throw him under the bus behind his back.

Yeah, right

Chicchicchicchiclana · 04/09/2020 14:09

Honestly, I'm amazed that anyone on this thread thinks this party is justifiable and assume there's a lot of playing devil's advocate going on.

I was reading about a wedding in Maine on a thread on here the other day. 65 guests attended link and it caused a huge local spike in cases.

Redolent · 04/09/2020 14:11

Report them. People here tend to be dimwittedly laissez faire.

Bluntness100 · 04/09/2020 14:13

Only on MN would you get a barrage of shit wit responses for wanting to do the right thing

Nah op. If you were going to tell them you were going to report them prior to reporting them you could argue you were doing the right thing.

What you can’t argue is the right thing is be nice to his face then rush off home and report on the sly.

That’s not the right thing at all.

Shortfeet · 04/09/2020 14:13

Yabvu

supersonicginandtonic · 04/09/2020 14:15

It's ridiculous that only 30 people are allowed anyway to be honest. Look at secondary school bubbles, work places etc.

Also I'm glad you're not my neighbour. Hope you feel good about yourself that you're possibly going to lose them money and ruin somebody's 30th birthday, after what has been a shit year.

Original poster
specksdrugsandsausagerolls · 04/09/2020 14:16

@Bluntness100 Conversely, how fair is it of him to tell me he has organised a large gathering against current advice a few hundred yards from my home? Do you understand how this virus is still in circulation in the community? Genuine question.

Me sneakily reporting him to the police (which I have since said I will not do) is no more underhand and sly than him organising a party and putting the local community at risk, IMO.

OP posts:
Aridane · 04/09/2020 14:17

All those saying inform neighbours first - haha - like you would with druggie neighbours or any other neighbour reportable behaviour Hmm. Oh brave keyboard warriors of shining integrity

mumof2nanof1 · 04/09/2020 14:23

Yanbu

Loveden · 04/09/2020 14:24

I have reported a large gathering of a similar number in a public park (and the police arrived in some number very quickly) but as much as I disapprove of what your neighbours are doing, I don't think I'd report them (but I'd kind of hope someone else will!).

Redolent · 04/09/2020 14:27

@supersonicginandtonic

It's ridiculous that only 30 people are allowed anyway to be honest. Look at secondary school bubbles, work places etc.

Also I'm glad you're not my neighbour. Hope you feel good about yourself that you're possibly going to lose them money and ruin somebody's 30th birthday, after what has been a shit year.

Why is it ridiculous? Don’t people understand that every relaxation of restrictions leads to an increase in transmission. It’s a balancing act. Just because your child is in a bubble of 200 pupils, that doesn’t mean it’s OK for 200 person weddings to go ahead in the UK. Hence the government saying that they would close pubs in order to keep schools open.

They have 30 acres of land. I’m sure they’ll be fine.

GojuRyuLover · 04/09/2020 14:29

I haven't RTFT but if it was my neighbour having a large gathering, I probably wouldn't attend but I wouldn't report it either (to save future neighbourly relations - if they find out it was you, there could be an uncomfortable fallout).

I drove past a few schools today and saw 100ish children all crowded together, waiting to go inside. No social distancing at all.
I understand the risks and think people should be careful but I think it's unfair if people cannot have get togethers (after being in lockdown for 6 months) when people are now forced to go to work and to school where there is very little protection.

Basically, I wouldn't report them.

notanothertakeaway · 04/09/2020 14:33

In the real world, I doubt anyone would warn the neighbours that they would report it

Bluntness100 · 04/09/2020 14:40

Conversely, how fair is it of him to tell me he has organised a large gathering against current advice a few hundred yards from my home? Do you understand how this virus is still in circulation in the community? Genuine question

Firstly you asked him. So yes it’s fair of him to tell you. Secondly I am fully aware of how it circulates and able to make risk based assessments. And thirdly there is nothing remotely sneaky or underhand about what he’s doing because as you keep telling everyone it’s in full public view.

God you’re itching to report him aren’t you. Literally itching for it.

PhilCornwall1 · 04/09/2020 16:19

Can I ask all the 'OP is a fun sponge, just leave it' posters will feel if/when we all end up under some kind of lockdown around Christmas?

People will do whatever they want to do at Christmas, regardless of another lockdown, just like they did during the last one.

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