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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP bought someone else flowers AIBU?

107 replies

BumbleFlump · 02/09/2020 23:08

DP currently working away, this is an ongoing thing for a while, back at weekends.

He told me earlier that one of the employees got angry and swore at the receptionist where they’re working. The person has now been removed from the job but DP got bollocked for it as he is also responsible for supplying staff. The guy DP works for asked DP to buy the receptionist some flowers as an apology, which he did.

I’m feeling a bit odd about all this as he’s working away and now buying other women who work there flowers. I completely understand that something needed to be done by way of an apology but FLOWERS?! Wouldn’t some chocolate or wine have been ok?

Would like to point out that DP was under no obligation to follow through and buy flowers exactly, he could have bought anything else.

Am I being a bit ridiculous here?

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 02/09/2020 23:09

He did what his boss told him. You’re being weird

IWantT0BreakFree · 02/09/2020 23:10

Why would chocolate or wine have been better?

AristotleAteMyHamster · 02/09/2020 23:10

That’s a pretty standard workplace gift, though?

Merryoldgoat · 02/09/2020 23:10

His boss told him to and be told you he did it.

I’m really not able to see why this is an issue.

BudgieHammockBananaSmuggler · 02/09/2020 23:10

Yes you are being weird

Or there is more background to this story

Bananacloud · 02/09/2020 23:11

Hmm possibly yes. I can understand you may be upset about it but it’s just flowers sooo not a big deal!

Onesipmore · 02/09/2020 23:11

He has bought flowers for another person under his bosses instruction .Not sure what the problem is really. Chocolate isn't much to offer as an apology. So yes, sorry ridiculous.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/09/2020 23:11

Does he not buy you flowers?

mrsg2019 · 02/09/2020 23:11

I think under the circumstances that's fine. Unless it came with a love note/poem, that's perfectly acceptable office etiquette. We often get flowers as gifts at work for various circumstances, no overthinking needed in this scenario from your post alone. So in the most sensitive manner possible, I think you are over thinking this one.

AGoatAteIt · 02/09/2020 23:12

I don’t get the significance of flowers being a big no-no but chocolate or wine would have been ok Confused

Mammyloveswine · 02/09/2020 23:12

Eh? I'm a crazy psycho but I think this is fine???

Quarterback11 · 02/09/2020 23:12

He bought them with his personal money? Or company money?

maggiecate · 02/09/2020 23:13

Chocolates or wine can be tricky gift wise because of dietary restrictions but flowers are generally a ‘safe’ corporate apology gift. He was doing what his boss told him, so unless there’s a massive backstory I think you’re worried about nothing

Happygogoat · 02/09/2020 23:14

I think this is fine, his boss suggested it, it's a valid way to apologise to a colleague, and he told you about it without prompt....

BluebellsGreenbells · 02/09/2020 23:16

If it was you who was sworn at, at work, wouldn’t you appreciate a bunch of flowers?

It doesn’t matter that he brought them. It was a nice gesture.

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/09/2020 23:16

Am I being a bit ridiculous here?

Yes.

LemonyFace · 02/09/2020 23:16

I would think flowers are better then choc/ wine when you don't know someone too well.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 02/09/2020 23:17

@Quarterback11

He bought them with his personal money? Or company money?
I was going to ask this too.

If it’s going to show up on your joint account or credit card then I’d be a bit suspicious that he’s just accidentally paid by card and then panicked and made up the boss/receptionist story to cover his tracks.

Working away a lot is always a worry and sadly more men than you’d like to believe take advantage of this situation. Has anything else made you suspicious or uncomfortable or is this a one-off?

Original poster
BumbleFlump · 02/09/2020 23:20

Thanks, am a bit tired and think I was massively overthinking it and really needed some perspective on it. It sounds like the person they got rid of was really out of order.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 02/09/2020 23:20

Surely he bought them on behalf of the company?

What's wrong with that?

incognitomum · 02/09/2020 23:21

Yes which account?

gingerbread88 · 02/09/2020 23:23

I don't understand why it isn't fine. The title of your thread is very misleading.
He did as his boss asked and bought the apology flowers on behalf of his company as a gesture of goodwill and to keep good, professional relations.
Seems like you are putting a different angle on it and making it something it wasn't. There's no love note attached to it or secrecy. Are you usually this suspicious? I can't see anything he's done wrong.

BackforGood · 02/09/2020 23:24

Well, 32 votes so far and 100% agreement that YABU.
At work, he did what his boss told him to. Bought a token gift to smooth over a situation in order to retain the work

Yup, you are being completely ridiculous, being as you've asked.

Anordinarymum · 02/09/2020 23:25

@BumbleFlump

Thanks, am a bit tired and think I was massively overthinking it and really needed some perspective on it. It sounds like the person they got rid of was really out of order.
Why are you overthinking it ? Does he buy you flowers OP
FloresTorres · 02/09/2020 23:26

and now buying other women who work there flowers.
You said his boss asked him to buy the receptionist flowers, on behalf of the company.
Which sounds fine to me.
Who are the other women you refer to?

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