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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP bought someone else flowers AIBU?

107 replies

BumbleFlump · 02/09/2020 23:08

DP currently working away, this is an ongoing thing for a while, back at weekends.

He told me earlier that one of the employees got angry and swore at the receptionist where they’re working. The person has now been removed from the job but DP got bollocked for it as he is also responsible for supplying staff. The guy DP works for asked DP to buy the receptionist some flowers as an apology, which he did.

I’m feeling a bit odd about all this as he’s working away and now buying other women who work there flowers. I completely understand that something needed to be done by way of an apology but FLOWERS?! Wouldn’t some chocolate or wine have been ok?

Would like to point out that DP was under no obligation to follow through and buy flowers exactly, he could have bought anything else.

Am I being a bit ridiculous here?

OP posts:
BadLad · 02/09/2020 23:58

@BumbleFlump

This You should be pleased that your husband has done a nice thing for someone who is upset. Flowers are a very suitable gift/gesture for the situation.

As I said, I’m very tired but know now that I’m being ridiculous. When he initially told me what happened, I didn’t think anything of it but he did seem slightly awkward about it all...I think he was worried I’d be upset. No history of anything like that so maybe it’s just linked to being away.

Oi. You're can't concede that you were being unreasonable just yet. We're only on page 2. We're nowhere near finished telling you off.
converseandjeans · 02/09/2020 23:58

He sounds like a nice person & he didn't need to even tell you as it was just something his boss asked him to do.

Somethingkindaoooo · 02/09/2020 23:59

Unless his penis was concealed in the bouquet , then I think it's ok

seayork2020 · 03/09/2020 00:00

Good grief flowers? what is the world coming too next he will making her a coffee and walking down the aisle, maybe she works as a spy for the CIA?

It is a nice thing he did why does it need to be more complicated than that

Original poster
BumbleFlump · 03/09/2020 00:04

Oi. You're can't concede that you were being unreasonable just yet. We're only on page 2. We're nowhere near finished telling you off.

🤣😂🤣

So sorry would stay for a bunfight but I really do need some Zzzzz

OP posts:
Glitteryone · 03/09/2020 00:05

Overthinking for sure.

My married male boss has bought me flowers before. Seriously only as a nice gesture.

No need to read anything further into it.

BF2748 · 03/09/2020 00:07

I think you’ve made a mountain out a molehill. He did what his boss asked him to do but even still a gesture is a gesture you probably would’ve took issue if it was wine or chocolates too. Try not to be so insecure.

SentientAndCognisant · 03/09/2020 00:08

In fairness @BumbleFlump has conceded she’s being unreasonable
No harm done

katy1213 · 03/09/2020 00:17

Well, you are being unreasonable - but it wouldn't kill him to buy some for you, too. If he's shifty, maybe it's because he realises he doesn't do it too often.

1forAll74 · 03/09/2020 00:43

Can't see why you have an issue with a gift of flowers to cheer someone up.!

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/09/2020 00:47

@BumbleFlump

Oi. You're can't concede that you were being unreasonable just yet. We're only on page 2. We're nowhere near finished telling you off.

🤣😂🤣

So sorry would stay for a bunfight but I really do need some Zzzzz

Pfft. MN isn't what it used to be. The standard of unreasonableness has really gone down.
Desperado24 · 03/09/2020 00:53

You can’t but a workmate/client/tradesman wine these days, what if they have a drink problem?

I genuinely can’t think of a single reason why you have an issue with him buying flowers in this instance.

Yankathebear · 03/09/2020 01:30

He sounds lovely!

motherofdxughters · 03/09/2020 01:45

You're being weird.

Frownette · 03/09/2020 01:48

From the thread title I was going to say no. But in context there's nothing wrong, leave it behind, hope you stop worrying about it.

honeygirlz · 03/09/2020 03:30

It’s a bit sexist isn’t it. I think it’s assumed that buying flowers is what female colleagues do.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/09/2020 03:33

@honeygirlz

It’s a bit sexist isn’t it. I think it’s assumed that buying flowers is what female colleagues do.
I bought pink cupcakes for my male colleague's birthday recently. The heart wants what the heart wants.
honeygirlz · 03/09/2020 03:41

Haha, did he ask for pink? That’s very specific Smile

Oblomov20 · 03/09/2020 03:50

Eh? Of course it's ok. Very odd.

Rebelwithallthecause · 03/09/2020 03:51

Flowers seems ok and he was doing as instructed ...

...As long as that bunch of flowers wasn’t a huge arrangement of red roses

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/09/2020 03:52

@honeygirlz

Haha, did he ask for pink? That’s very specific Smile
They were a flavour he likes. And they were very pretty as well.
Dyrne · 03/09/2020 04:02

Is there backstory here OP?

As others have said, flowers are a universal “Safe” workplace present; due to dietary restrictions and people drinking/not drinking. I bought flowers last week for someone leaving my team, bought out of my own pocket even - rest assured I am not trying to shag them!

Do you have wider trust issues over him working away? Do you generally feel under appreciated? When was the last time you did something ‘nice’ for each other?

toconclude · 03/09/2020 04:04

@BluebellsGreenbells

If it was you who was sworn at, at work, wouldn’t you appreciate a bunch of flowers?

It doesn’t matter that he brought them. It was a nice gesture.

Someone's never worked at Adult Care Services. We get a shrug and rueful head tilt and are sworn at (for stuff mostly not our fault in any way) on a daily basis.
TheHappyHerbivore · 03/09/2020 06:11

YABU. He was following an instruction, and the context clearly couldn’t be less romantic.

Shoxfordian · 03/09/2020 06:17

Do you have any reason not to trust him?