To have DD christened even though we aren't very religious?

[olive196]

DP and I are undecided on whether we want DD to be christened. We're both family Christian families, grew up going to church every week but we're also both not very religious now. By that I mean I go to church on special occasions or sometimes just to go with my family but I wouldn't call myself a Christian, I don't think I actually believe in God and DP is similar. It's difficult because I'm the first of my family to not be.

How about a naming ceremony?

I wouldn't. Let your DC decide for themselves when they are old enough.

A christening is to welcome your child into the church. If you aren’t going to bring them
up as religious then there is no point. Have a humanist naming ceremony.

Why then? What for? Nice pictures?

We didn't christen our daughter despite a good bit of pressure from family and friends at the time. Never regretted it and as pp says above, they can always do it themselves when they're older.

I don't see the point unless you are going to bring her up in the faith.

There are other alternative options now if you want a family ceremony like naming ceremonies. A christening is a religious ceremony where a child is welcomed into the church and you pledge to raise it in a household that believes in God. It is a bit pointless if you dont believe in God. Is it possible you are more feeling the pressure to have a christening as your family want you to have one and you don't want to annoy people?

Why on earth would you? She’s your child, sod all to do with anyone else how you bring her up.

You’d be very hypocritical to stand in church and lie because you’d have to say a lot of things you don’t believe.

Have a welcoming party.

YANBU a baptism is so much more that the religious aspects and I say that as a religious person.

YABU. There doesn’t seem to be an actual reason to have a christening. You will also have to have regular (weekly in my area) attendance before they agree to a christening

Pointless if you and DH are'nt religious.
I feel it's bit of an insult to Christians when people do get their DC christened or actually marry in a religious setting , when they don't follow religion at all.
( Just my opinion)
My whole family is Christened and only my DG goes to church.
My DC are'nt Christened, it's never crossed my mind as we would'nt take them to Church after.
If my DC choose to follow religion when older, that's their choice.

No, definitely not. I'm not Christian, I won't go along with any Christian traditions. It's disingenuous. It's not my cup of tea and I think it's largely a load of baloney, but it feels disrespectful to people who actually do believe in it all. At the moment, you can't really have much of a christening anyway. Why not just have a little celebration of your baby with close family/friends?

Is it family pressure, or tradition, that makes you want this for your child?

Some churches will do a dedication ceremony if that would help. Usually there is an adult, sometimes the grandparent, who makes a promise to teach the child about God. But then you would have to let that adult have some spiritual input into your child’s life.

Well if the church is happy to do it, then why not? If they demanded weekly attendance and religious observation then you'd not be able to, but they dont so they'd obviously rather Christian than not. And as you know yourselves , it doesnt actually commit her to anything.

If you're not religious I wouldn't, let her choose for herself when she gets older.

We christened our son, took him to church, but now at 16 he is very firmly atheist

If you want an occasion, have a naming ceremony and welcome her into your family that way. I've been to a couple of lovely ones, where the parents did a couple of readings /poems and grandparents said a few words about their new grandchild. Beautiful and personal.

I am pretty sure the actual words of the christening ceremony require you to promise to bring her up as a Christian and believing in God (or words to that effect).

If you cannot promise that honestly then no I wouldn’t christen her. plenty of alternatives if you want to celebrate your baby.

I'm not Christian but I think this is rank hypocrisy. YABU.

full words of the service here

Don't do it because of family pressure.

But if you want to do it because of tradition I think that's fine. I'm not massively religious but being christened is a family tradition and it felt like something I wanted to do for my kids.

The sky hasn't fallen in because we got them christened and haven't gone to church every week since. They are still completely free to make their own choices as they grow up.

We had a nice day, they wore the same christening robe dh and his dad wore, it's a nice family tradition.

If you're an active actual non-believer then it's probably not the right thing to do but if you're agnostic or indifferent then I don't see any harm.

We are Christians and our children were dedicated, not christened, because I don’t believe in making promises on a child’s behalf. It was a service in which we basically thanked God for our child and promised to do our best to be good parents. We were allowed to write the promises to suit us. The church then promised to support us.
It was nice, everyone got a chance to wear their posh frocks and have cake.
At my sister’s church they call it a celebration service.

I’m Christian, but I don’t think you should unless you actually believe. I’m sure most CofE priests would say they welcome everyone; but it strikes me as a bit dishonest if you don’t truly believe.

People who christen their children when they're not religious and don't intend to bring their child up with religious values are silly imo.

Why would you christen your child and promise to bring her up in that faith if you don’t hold that faith yourselves? It’s very hypocritical

It's a form of cultural appropriation tbh.

We did, but it was more cultural than religious. We’re Irish and the idea of not getting the kids christened gave both our mothers conniptions.

We’re in a mixed marriage so we held ours at a non-denominational church. It was more of a naming ceremony/ something to “formalise” the godparents and no promises to maintain a faith were made.