To have DD christened even though we aren't very religious?

[olive196]

DP and I are undecided on whether we want DD to be christened. We're both family Christian families, grew up going to church every week but we're also both not very religious now. By that I mean I go to church on special occasions or sometimes just to go with my family but I wouldn't call myself a Christian, I don't think I actually believe in God and DP is similar. It's difficult because I'm the first of my family to not be.

‘Isn’t what Jesus says about it “repent and be baptised”? It’s a way for believers to publicly show their faith. I can’t see how that means everyone.’

Most Christians are baptised as infants. They’re not trying to demonstrate anything.

Lots of people do it where we live as a kind of school insurance policy; if your child doesn’t pass the 11+, then the next best school in our nearest town requires you to be christened into the CofE faith.

I'm so sorry @Porcupineinwaiting, I didn't realise that the Church of England, as the state religion (not 'Christianity') had actually forced you to go into one of their churches. I'm not sure exactly how your beliefs and liberties have been infringed specifically by this, unless you are suggesting that a purely secular state would introduce different laws which are directly contradicted by the Church of England. I'm not sure what they might be - perhaps banning the wearing of certain items of clothing as in France? Oh, that kind of infringes on peoples beliefs and liberties doesn't it?

Dont waste the reverends time. My friends a reverend and has so much of her time wasted with people like you.

@forgetthehousework The only country other than Iran which has set aside seats for religious orders in their legislature is the UK.

We have an established religion and have done for centuries it is woven into the fabric of British society.

The only schools where my dc grew up were C of E schools. All the local villages had them. They were good schools but they had Christian doctrine woven through them.

It is perfectly reasonable to object an established religion.
It is perfectly reasonable to object to seats in the House of Lords being set aside for Bishops.
It is perfectly reasonable to object to the Queen also being the head of the State religion.

In many ways the UK has outgrown the medieval underpinnings of its society but they are still there.

@ILoveFood87 so why dont the church refuse baptism to all but those whose parents demonstrate their faith ardently enough?

@forgetthehousework if Christanity stayed in church then it wouldnt be a problem but sadly it doesnt.

Don't forget the Bible condones slavery, which many people in 2020 find objectionable.

@lakesidefall I totally agree, and am perfectly happy that I live in a country that allows people to object. I also think church schools should be a choice not a necessity.

@Porcupineinwaiting so shut down all food banks, hostels (including Salvation Army of course), community groups that have anything to do with a christian group (no, hang on, it would have to be any religious group since you object to playing favourites) and what? Tough on all those who rely on the work that all religions do outside church.

Yes, unfortunately Christianity doesn't stay in the church. All state schools (including community schools) are supposed to have a daily Christian-based assembly. Working in schools I am forced to listen along with my class who try their best to appear interested. Some schools pay lip service for 10mins once a week (hurrah), some have a daily hour-long chanting, hymn-singing she-bang.

Why have your kid christened if you’re not going to raise them as a Christian?

Because it makes my parents happy and means my kids have membership of a faith, should they wish to pursue it in later life.

I wasn’t baptised or christened. I converted to Judaism in my twenties and in hindsight I’m glad I got to choose my own faith. I’ve always believed in something but Christianity didn’t work out and when I started reading up on Judaism and talking to Jewish students, something clicked.

Most of my cousins are baptised, though one had a secular naming ceremony.

@Stripesgalore you know it’s not a ‘members only’ club. You can join the church at any time whether you were christened or not.

My mums friend wasn’t christened and joined the church but the minister just did it there and then for her.

These threads always go the same way.
A load of people saying you're a hypocrite for introducing your kid to something you don't believe, or that you shouldn't make these decisions for them.
So answer me this: why are we all happy to make kids believe in Santa, when we don't? It makes all those judgy people massive hypocrites, but of course the reason everyone "does Santa" is because it's a nice thing for a kid to believe in. God is also a nice thing for a kid to believe. I don't believe in God any more but I wanted to give my children the same opportunity. Bible stories are nice.
There's no bigger decision than a name, and yet we have to make that decision for our kids. Why does the same logic not apply to religion?

Weird. I don't remember the OT God being a 'nice' thing for children to believe in! 🤣

Clam, it’s just a bit less hassle for your parents to have got it done for you as a kid.

Do you have a church you have a connection to? If you do it could be quite nice to have it there. Also can be handy for schools when it comes to it.
I go to church but I’m not always sure I believe in god (and confess this at times of silent confession) but I enjoy the community of church among other things so I don’t think it’s always as clear cut as a believer or not.

‘@Stripesgalore you know it’s not a ‘members only’ club. You can join the church at any time whether you were christened or not.’

This isn’t really true either for most churches. To become a communicant member of a sacramental church you have to attend classes to join, and often those classes commence once a year and you would have to demonstrate commitment and sincerity. Baptism would only be the first step.

[quote Stripesgalore]‘@Stripesgalore you know it’s not a ‘members only’ club. You can join the church at any time whether you were christened or not.’

This isn’t really true either for most churches. To become a communicant member of a sacramental church you have to attend classes to join, and often those classes commence once a year and you would have to demonstrate commitment and sincerity. Baptism would only be the first step.[/quote]
Yes but you can join the classes and you will be baptised at any time. My mums friend was literally done there and then. Christianity is accepting of everyone not just those who are ‘members’ through something fine TO THEM as babies.

How can being baptised as a baby show commitment when it was something chosen for you as a baby by your parents? A baby has no clue what happening and will
not remember so where is the commitment from them via being baptised? Surely being baptised when you decide to join the church is showing more of a commitment and belief.

I get the sitting on the fence. I waver too, so I had my children baptised to be on the safe side.
If you think you might like to send them to a faith school, then that is bringing them up in the faith and you might need baptism to get them in.

You don’t have to show any commitment as a baby. You have to show commitment if you want to become a communicant member of the church.

If it is for getting into a school then I'd do it but otherwise I wouldn't. I think there is an argument where you could do it to make your parents and family happy.

I don’t think it would work for school enrolment. I know quite a few churches where you need regular attendance for a number of years for the priest to sign the form.