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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think 8 month old DS isn't behind?

125 replies

Putmynewshoeson · 01/09/2020 08:36

8 month old DS was born just on the cusp of premature.

He can stand when we hold his hands, has been able to for ages. He can sit independently but wants to crawl so more often than not sirs for a few seconds then rolls into his front. He can sit quite well until he gets distracted by a toy or something and tries to reach it or move and then ends up wobbling or toppling.
He can hold his own bottle when the mood takes him.
He holds toys and puts them in his mouth and moved them hand to hand. He puts his dummy in and out - at night he finds his dummy and puts it back in his mouth
He can roll both ways and does it frequently especially during nappy changes 🤪
He's not crawling yet but really trying and not pulling himself up on things, doesnt really try and step when he stands with support. He doesn't copy us or clap or wave or stick his tongue out.

He is very engaged and smiley, babbles lots and 'talks' to us. Loves playing with us, is fascinate by playing boo, the guitar, loves watching baby sensory and nursery rhymes

I went to a kind of baby group on Friday after they had been closed for ages (still socially distanced more for the mum's) and one of the mums made a comment that he had really fallen behind during lockdown.

Granted a few of the other babies were poking their tongues out and sitting up a bit more steadily for longer (he can sit happily for 10-15 seconds before getting a bit wobbly, if he's playing with a toy) but as he's only just 8 months I don't think he's particularly behind?!

As a FTM though it's played on my mind a bit since then and I'm wondering if I'm missing something or I should be worried?

OP posts:
User27aw · 01/09/2020 08:39

He sounds absolutely fine. What kind of a mum would tell you your child is behind, just ignore her.

Chairbear · 01/09/2020 08:40

It sounds fine to me but I'm not an expert. There is quite a wide range of 'normal' in terms of development at this age, but seems he is definitely moving in the right direction. I guess you could phone your HV if you're really worried, but sounds like he is doing great.

emmaluggs · 01/09/2020 08:41

She sounds like a right charmer, fancy saying that whether it’s true or not, for what it’s worth he doesn’t sound behind at all. My two would have web reliably sitting at that point but paired with all the others things he’s doing I wouldn’t be concerned at all. Just ignore the woman!

Ukholidaysaregreat · 01/09/2020 08:43

I would be more worried about the social development of the playgroup mother. What a rude thing to say to someone.Flowers

Porcupineinwaiting · 01/09/2020 08:44

"Really behind"? What on earth else does she think he should be doing at 8 months?

Honestly OP pay her no mind. And lockdown wont have damaged your baby's development one bit so dont worry about that.

Keeva2017 · 01/09/2020 08:46

He’s doing everything my 9 month old is doing. Mines started crawling at lightening speed but that’s only been the last couple of weeks.

That woman was a dumb twit. Ignore her.

purpleme12 · 01/09/2020 08:46

Sounds absolutely fine. Don't know what she's referring to anyway from what you're saying
By the way my baby was always on the late end of normal for hitting her milestone and by that I mean the last month of the range they give for doing things she'd be doing it in that month. A lot later than other babies we knew. I was never worried and I always knew she was fine and whereas none of the other mums said anything I knew they were thinking to themselves that's very late I'm sure she should be doing that by now. I could tell when we were discussing things and their looks. Like I say it was nothing out of the ordinary anyway. People can be very strange

Thisischocolate · 01/09/2020 08:48

Well she sounds extremely rude and I’d be giving her a wide berth in future.

Your DS sounds absolutely fine and parents need reminding that all babies and children develop at different rates. She sounds like a competitive parent.

My friend’s DS didn’t crawl until he was 17 months, and has only just started to walk now at 22 months. He is absolutely healthy and fine (checked by HV & GP), but my friend had a lot of snarky comments from other mums.

WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 01/09/2020 08:50

He sounds perfectly normal.
The other mum sounds very weird, she clearly doesn't know anything about baby development or how to be polite.

Sparklesocks · 01/09/2020 08:50

He sounds like he’s doing fine. How arrogant of that woman to think she can make such a judgement from a single baby group session. Talking out of her arse.

BowowMttt · 01/09/2020 08:50

She sounds awful and she’d have regretted them words passing her lips if she’d said it to me, I can have a forked tongue sometimes! I’d point out how rude/socially inept she is if she comments again.

BarkandCheese · 01/09/2020 08:51

Some parents are just like this, in a few years time she’ll be rooting through a visiting child’s book bag on play dates to see what reading band they are on. Ignore her, your baby sounds totally normal.

TiptopJ · 01/09/2020 08:52

God that woman sounds awful!

my son was only just sitting independently for a few minutes at 8 months. He didn't crawl until after his first birthday and didn't walk until around 18 months and he was a little bit late with some of his speech compared to others.

At 2 and a half I haven't used a pushchair in 6 months as he insists on walking everywhere, he never stops talking, can recite the alphabet and count to 30.

DisappearingGirl · 01/09/2020 08:52

I would be more worried about the social development of the playgroup mother.

Hahaha, yes indeed. What a horrible woman.

He sounds completely normal! One of mine didn't sit up at all until 9 months despite lots of encouragement. She did everything else on time and is perfectly where she should be now!!

MsSquiz · 01/09/2020 08:53

Ignore her!
My DD is 8.5 months and we met up with a few of the babies from ante natal last week. 7 babies all born within a month and all at completely different stages! Some crawling, some rolling, 1 adamant she wanted to hold mum's hands to stand up, some sitting, some wobbly when sitting, some with teeth, some not, some with hair, some bald, some quiet, some screamers, some babblers.

Anyone who wants to point out that a baby is behind this early on, is definitely someone I would avoid. She's clearly behind in learning good manners!

IckyPop · 01/09/2020 08:53

He sounds like he's doing really well. For comparison, my son crawled at 10.5 months, wasn't interested in standing until over a year old, walked at 16 months. His cousin who is 6 months younger did all these things at about the same time (ie walked at 10.5 months!)
My son is now 7, doing well at school etc met all the milestones along the way. Some kids do things a bit earlier, some a bit later. If you are worried though, do talk to your health visitor, in my experience they are reassuring and supportive.
You sound like a lovely mum, please ignore the competitive cow who made you feel like this 💐

disappointingdessert · 01/09/2020 08:54

There's nothing wrong with your baby but plenty wrong with her.
He's doing more than my baby op!

modgepodge · 01/09/2020 08:55

That’s SO RUDE. I can not believe she said that to you! Your son sounds like he is doing just fine.

gonewiththerain · 01/09/2020 08:56

Sounds fine, they all do things at different rates. Some barely crawl at all and go straight to walking.
Mine walked and crawled early but is way behind on speech, just one of those things

GrumpyHoonMain · 01/09/2020 08:57

@Putmynewshoeson

8 month old DS was born just on the cusp of premature.

He can stand when we hold his hands, has been able to for ages. He can sit independently but wants to crawl so more often than not sirs for a few seconds then rolls into his front. He can sit quite well until he gets distracted by a toy or something and tries to reach it or move and then ends up wobbling or toppling.
He can hold his own bottle when the mood takes him.
He holds toys and puts them in his mouth and moved them hand to hand. He puts his dummy in and out - at night he finds his dummy and puts it back in his mouth
He can roll both ways and does it frequently especially during nappy changes 🤪
He's not crawling yet but really trying and not pulling himself up on things, doesnt really try and step when he stands with support. He doesn't copy us or clap or wave or stick his tongue out.

He is very engaged and smiley, babbles lots and 'talks' to us. Loves playing with us, is fascinate by playing boo, the guitar, loves watching baby sensory and nursery rhymes

I went to a kind of baby group on Friday after they had been closed for ages (still socially distanced more for the mum's) and one of the mums made a comment that he had really fallen behind during lockdown.

Granted a few of the other babies were poking their tongues out and sitting up a bit more steadily for longer (he can sit happily for 10-15 seconds before getting a bit wobbly, if he's playing with a toy) but as he's only just 8 months I don't think he's particularly behind?!

As a FTM though it's played on my mind a bit since then and I'm wondering if I'm missing something or I should be worried?

My son is the same age. HV said he was progressing bang on target - he can sit unaided, crawl, cruise, mimic, and say a variety of cosonent sounds - as long as your DS is doing some of these things it’s okay. What would worry me is the sticking his tongue out bit - that is a milestone for much younger babies. We were encouraged to help him do this from 8-12 weeks. Ask your HV for advice and a development check it you’re worried
Stinkyjellycat · 01/09/2020 08:57

My child sat unaided at 8 months, commando crawled at 11 months, ‘proper’ crawled at 14 months and didn’t walk until they were 22 months! They did have gross motor delay, but at three they have now caught up perfectly with their peers and you would never know there had been an issue. Children develop at different rates, there isn’t a one size fits all approach. However, I would always tell any parent who has concerns to contact the health visitor as it’s worth checking these things out.

For what it’s worth, I think your child sounds perfectly normal!

Stinkyjellycat · 01/09/2020 08:57

Oh, and she’s a cow. Avoid her.

AuntImmortelle · 01/09/2020 08:58

Oh jeez! What a bitch that woman was.

Your son sounds perfectly normal imho. For context both my DDs didn't crawl until 12 months and didn't walk until post 16 months. (They were early talkers though so swings and roundabouts). So that judgemental person would have had a bloody field day with them!!

NataliaOsipova · 01/09/2020 08:59

@Ukholidaysaregreat

I would be more worried about the social development of the playgroup mother. What a rude thing to say to someone.Flowers
I was going to comment but @Ukholidaysaregreat says it perfectly....
Original poster
Putmynewshoeson · 01/09/2020 08:59

It's made me worried about his sitting in particular I think
He CAN sit up and has been doing the tripod sit for a good while and now sits to play with his toys he just can't sit for like 15 minutes without having a lean or a wobble . Usually because he's distracted by another toy or decides he wants to try and climb on me or crawl. Is that normal? Should he be sitting properly upright so I don't have to be worrying that he will topple at some point? I thought that came a bit later

OP posts: