AIBU to think 8 month old DS isn't behind?

[Putmynewshoeson]

8 month old DS was born just on the cusp of premature.

He can stand when we hold his hands, has been able to for ages. He can sit independently but wants to crawl so more often than not sirs for a few seconds then rolls into his front. He can sit quite well until he gets distracted by a toy or something and tries to reach it or move and then ends up wobbling or toppling.
He can hold his own bottle when the mood takes him.
He holds toys and puts them in his mouth and moved them hand to hand. He puts his dummy in and out - at night he finds his dummy and puts it back in his mouth
He can roll both ways and does it frequently especially during nappy changes 🤪
He's not crawling yet but really trying and not pulling himself up on things, doesnt really try and step when he stands with support. He doesn't copy us or clap or wave or stick his tongue out.

He is very engaged and smiley, babbles lots and 'talks' to us. Loves playing with us, is fascinate by playing boo, the guitar, loves watching baby sensory and nursery rhymes

I went to a kind of baby group on Friday after they had been closed for ages (still socially distanced more for the mum's) and one of the mums made a comment that he had really fallen behind during lockdown.

Granted a few of the other babies were poking their tongues out and sitting up a bit more steadily for longer (he can sit happily for 10-15 seconds before getting a bit wobbly, if he's playing with a toy) but as he's only just 8 months I don't think he's particularly behind?!

As a FTM though it's played on my mind a bit since then and I'm wondering if I'm missing something or I should be worried?

Well she didn't say anything to me today but she was busy telling another mum that her baby should be saying vowel noises by now. Buoyed up by this thread I suggested nicely that she focus on her own DS instead of offering unsolicited opinions

I don't think we are going to be friends

Amazing op!!!!! Did she respond?

Omg! The brass neck of her! As IF you’d say that to someone. Good for you OP!

The other parent was rude! That's not behind. My DD only started sitting for more than a couple of seconds at 8 months which was behind average but not late enough for concern. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things

Who goes around saying these things?! I’m starting my first baby group next week for poor lockdown baby2 so will be interested to see the dynamic again. I’m so pleased you pulled her up on it!

My DC1 didn’t sit independently till about 8 months and I was really upset by it, I couldn’t understand why all the other babies sat nicely playing with toys and she just wouldn’t! She could, however, cross a room in seconds by rolling and just loved moving around rather than sitting still, she’s still the same at 4 now. She crawled at 9 months and walked at 13 months so no “issues”. All babies are different.

I used to worry about development but the most useful thing I was told was to only compare them to themselves e.g. if he is sitting more than a couple of months ago - then unlikely to be a problem. Doesn't always work as they sometimes regress (e.g. my teenagers used to know how to get up in the morning!) but I think it makes it the whole thing more joyful than comparing them to others.

I'd love to know what Kerry kids were doing at 8 months. On TV presenting the news I'd assume.

Bizarre auto correct! Sorry.

He sounds absolutely fine and the other mum sounds unpleasant!

@Putmynewshoeson

Well she didn't say anything to me today but she was busy telling another mum that her baby should be saying vowel noises by now. Buoyed up by this thread I suggested nicely that she focus on her own DS instead of offering unsolicited opinions

I don't think we are going to be friends

Go you!!

Wow, she was rude OP. I have an 8 month old. I can see her developing and moving about more but haven’t got into closely monitoring her development milestones. I just don’t get it. If somebody told me she was ‘behind’ I’d probably just laugh in their face. Who wants childhood to be some kind of competitive race to be the first to do everything? Very weird.

I haven't RTFT but she's a twat and your baby sounds fine.

I don't know what would possess her to say something like that, really weird.

Wouldn't worry about DS.

Pick your company more carefully. Cheeky bitch.

Good on you for saying that OP, what was her response?

Well done OP.

He sounds fine. All kids are different. My eldest said his first proper word at 9 months old, he never crawled just got up and walked at 11 months old. My youngest was text book, did everything at the “usual” time. My middle child was completely slient until she was 34 months. Rolled at 11 months, crawled at 14 months, walked at 18 months.

Just wanted to come and update
He's now sitting loads and not toppling so much
He's started making new sounds (and new shapes with his mouth) so a lot of baba maba and Bwa Bwa going on
He's also started putting him dummy inside things and scooping it out, opening and closing the doors on his toys and desperately desperately trying to call - now up on all fours really strongly and shunting back and forth as well as half scooting forward

Still no waving or copying but very happy and engaged, fascinated when we stick our tongues out and moves his around in his mouth while we do it but doesn't do it back yet, I'm sure that will come

I think he's actually going through a growth spurt/leap or whatever they call it as he's really grumbly and sleepy and hungry at the moment.

One thing he isn't doing yet is stepping when we hold him up on his feet to stand and instead of staying standing he keeps dropping down to get on all fours and try to crawl 🙈 so I think we can see where his focus is at the moment!

He's also started responding to different facial expressions with giggles or a serious face as though hes really studying you

But I just wanted to come back on to say I feel better as he's showing development still, maybe not as quick as some other babies, but like a lot of posters have said he's doing things in his own time

Oh my lord she sounds like an utter twat I almost cant believe someone actually said that, to your face? Are you sure you didnt mishear/misinterpret? Was the other person perhaps not a great English speaker and inadvertently got it wrong?

No definitely didn't misinterpret and she's a native English speaker, just not a very tactful one

Competitive mumming. So tedious. I remember one mum smugly telling me her baby already had a tooth, like that was some kind of indicator of future genius levels of intelligence.

Your baby is fine and I’m sure totally adorable.

Horrific woman. Avoid her.

It sounds perfectly fine. He's 8 months old. Mine pulled himself up and climbed before he could crawl. Then crawled for months until he learned to walk. They don't all follow set patterns. She sounds like a nightmare competitive mother. Ignore. X

I think your son sounds delightful. Her, not so much. And my dh didn't do anything other than sit on his bum for a very long time and didn't talk until he was over 2, because he was lazy and didn't need to. His big sister was three years older and doted on him so he just sat there pointing at things and she would fetch them for him or take him where he wanted to go. As soon as she went to school he started to speak.

Take no notice, she sounds like a, dick and your son sounds fine! Young children develop at different rates and sometimes even overnight. As long as he is progressing and developing, he'll do things in his own time.

You need to ask her what she specialised in when she did her doctorate in child development! what a tit!

My eldest walked about 11 months, but only crawled at 10months for a few weeks before walking and was pretty mute and didn't talk properly until after his 2nd birthday. Despite earlyish walking he is terribly uncoordinated, but he is far from stupid or quiet now and doesn't stop talking. His younger brother crawled on time but didn't walk til 14 months. Said some words about on time, but hasn't progressed since, so probably will talk late (although he tries). They all make their leaps at different times in different orders.

I'm fast realising that babies just develop at different rates
Someone asked me on Monday if he was pointing/clapping/waving/rolling a yet and I just said not yet instead of coming home and obsessing about it, so that's progress!