AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

Interesting point re expectation-

I wonder how many teens in a class when put on the spot would feel they were “allowed” to answer “I’d never pair those two body parts during sex”

At least they took the time to tell these 13 year old children that these acts were potentially dangerous though. That was considerate of them 🤨

And my generation's parents thought that Just 17 and Cosmo were depraved ...... that website...... good heavens...... yes, some caveats fair enough but no. Just no. Child friendly sex advice is just - wrong - on a site like that. Glad it was taken down. I'm a bit more boggled than I was before - and I was pretty boggled then!

I read the first few posts on this feeling quite dismayed especially when some seemed to claim expertise on teaching sex education.
Was mightily relieved to get to the last few pages when some of the FWR stalwarts had arrived. 💪
I hated sex ed at school and so did my dc ( both boys) all of us being quiet and introverted at school. I would have found such a game quite traumatic I expect which is the opposite of what sex ed should be.
Thank god for older women who can see through this bullshit.

@IAmFleshIAmBone

YANBU sounds like something Ann summers would sell... Sex dice

This

I read the first few posts on this feeling quite dismayed especially when some seemed to claim expertise on teaching sex education.

I wonder if that sneery poster at the beginning of the thread would act the same way in person to a parent raising safeguarding concerns?

yourhairiswinterfire

Jesus Christ that site. I’d really like to know who the author of it is. I’d be really really fucking surprised if it was a woman.

I mean the other option is a giant matrix sheet to work through

Penis vagina hand mouth
Vagina
Hand
Mouth

that seems a lot more work than

"hey kids roll these dice and during the commotion you can secretly place your dice so you can innocently ask about penis penis or vagina vagina rather than out yourselves to your asshole classmates"

Cause you know kids are assholes

@Reubenshat

yourhairiswinterfire

Jesus Christ that site. I’d really like to know who the author of it is. I’d be really really fucking surprised if it was a woman.

I had the same thought. Obviously written by some perv.

@yourhairiswinterfire

From the Warwickshire 'Respect Yourself' website that got suspended (if pictures attach) that was aimed at 13-25yo

Who the hell thinks 13year olds need to learn about 'sunflowering'? I've never heard of it, and I'm no prude either.

metro.co.uk/2019/10/21/council-sex-website-teaches-children-bukakee-caught-masturbating-10955368/

A 12 year old that wrote to ask about their crush on their teacher was told you shouldn't try anything with the teacher, because she has a role of responsibility, could be charged, and it would affect the teachers marriage too

Nasty, nasty things going on here...

Well I suspect it was someone thinking "is it best we tell them what these things are or is it best urban dictionary does?"

I mean if you count liststing a definition of a sex act as "teaching it" fuck me you're going to lose your mind when you see the filth a dictionary has in it.

The kids will be a perverted antidistablishmentarian by the end of Webster's abomination

I'm 51. I had to look up bukkake because it was mentioned here. If I, with pretty varied interests and an internet history that makes me look like a serial killer with paranoid conspiracy tendencies because hey, I'm curious, haven't managed to innocently stumble across the term, then I have serious concerns that 13 year olds are apparently able to do so with ease..... I'm familiar with fisting (no sniggering please) but sunflowering was new to me too.

In any case - it's about context and the safety of children under the age of consent.

I've never heard of sunflowering till now.

Was there any need?

I was a young teenager nearly 30 years ago, and a shy, nerdy child with no friends in a rural school but even then I knew what anal sex was.
I can imagine exactly how this game would have gone:
Possibly it would have all been prefaced by "you don't have to roll the dice if you don't want to". So whilst all the cool kids were having their go and getting into the spirit of the thing- or pretending to- I would have been not listening just watching the dice being passed closer to me and desperately trying to work out which was the least worst option, playing or declining.

I probably would have rolled the dice: I was a compliant sort as far as school work was concerned and participated in group work even though I didn't really like it, because it was expected in every other class and because it earned marks for coursework in loads of other classes too. I did as the teacher said, because they were the teacher.

So I would have taken the dice to amused expectant gazes. They all knew I'd never even kissed a boy. Here she goes. The swot. The stew. The frigid one. The usual suspect boys would have done the drum roll thing with their hands on the tables, with that noise that goes with it, the rising "Wooooooaaaaaahhhh" and been told to be quiet. I've kept my head down looking at the table, trying not to let my hands shake, thinking, "Please let it be mouth and fingers. Please let the fire alarm go off now. Please".
Roll the dice.
"What do they say, Power? I beg your pardon? Speak up"
"Penis and anus"
Laughter all round, bar a few of the girls and the quieter boys. Usual suspects absolutely pissing themselves: Power wants it up the arse.
Red face. Mortification. Feeling totally fucking socially alone, like usual.
Hating every minute of it.
Hating the fact that everyone knew I was hating every minute of it.
And especially hating that the usual suspects were really enjoying my obvious humiliation (yeah you'll experience that again in the not too distant future from strangers hanging out of vans and occasionally groups of male "friends", get used to it).

Great.

Some teens are genuinely really intimidated by all this.

I was a late developer. I only started snogging at 14.

Christ sakes, safeguarding and dodgy boundary erasure aside, give them
Something new to find out about at 25 (or 40.)

@TheFleegleHasLanded

If this dice game is so great and useful and empowering, and the Warwickshire education stuff was also so wonderful (the guide that included fisting, felching, and bukakke), then why is it so difficult to discover who wrote the bloody stuff!?

You would think they would want their name all over it, wouldn’t you?

Great point, well made.

I wish i didn't know about sunflowering, Sunflowers are so lovely. I don't know why a 13yo would need to know about fisting.

Serious question to all the posters who think our kids need to know this shit, can't you just teach them its okay to follow your gut and say no to situations that make them feel uncomfortable?

‘Well I suspect it was someone thinking "is it best we tell them what these things are or is it best urban dictionary does?"’

Young people know urban dictionary is a joke and trolling website. They understand the definitions are comedy, not usually real.

Why does a 13 year old need to be told about someone putting their hand into their vagina and spreading their fingers like a sunflower by Warwickshire Council, exactly?

The 12 year old with a crush on their teacher I mentioned-the advice was ridiculous. Don't act on it, your teacher will get charged (no mention of why, I noticed), and her marriage will suffer. Making the child feel sorry for the teacher, like it would be the child's fault.

It's the same kind of thing an abuser tells a kid-don't tell anyone, they'll take me away, your mum won't love me anymore...

You weren’t a late developer, warrior. That is completely normal for a 14 year old.

These people with zero qualifications or authority to write resources for RSE bar their own lives and opinions and YouTube often say "I'm giving them what I wish I'd had at school."

No.

Yes sex Ed and RSE needs to be better. But for gods sake, breastfeeding isn't even on the curriculum and a campaign groups have only just managed to get menopause in there.

As PP have said, this is by men for men.

^That was to Elsewyre.

@Stripesgalore

You weren’t a late developer, warrior. That is completely normal for a 14 year old.

Sorry, periods didn't happen till 16 so I felt very late generally.

@NeurotrashWarrior

Some teens are genuinely really intimidated by all this.

I was a late developer. I only started snogging at 14.

Christ sakes, safeguarding and dodgy boundary erasure aside, give them
Something new to find out about at 25 (or 40.)

I had my first snog at age 15 and I don't think I was ready for that even let alone some of the grim stuff referenced on this thread.

14 is not a late developer.

The sad thing about these games actually taught in school is that children will think that this is what sex is.

They’ll see it through porn and what they see will be normalised at school. Without sex Ed focused on boundaries, consent and pleasure children of both sexes will think that sex is anal, rimming, objects in anuses. As with women on here, children who are uncomfortable will be told they’re prudish, homophobic and that everyone is doing it. Unlike women on here, they’ll take it to heart.

Actually I bet it was later, around 15/16!

It mattered so much at the time!

Now I can't remember!

Aw Christ WinterI wasn't bloody going to google sunflowering not envy
Yeah, a fucking internal exam, sounds hot...
I am struggling now to even believe any of this is real..!?

‘Well I suspect it was someone thinking "is it best we tell them what these things are or is it best urban dictionary does?"
Well obviously it's best the Urban Dictionary does, rather than an adult with a respected job in a position of authority!