What do you wish your parents did differently when you were a child?

[flatlife]

I used to hate the fact my you ger brother was allowed to do what he liked while I had to behave. He was 1/2 and I was about 5. I hadn't realised he was a baby- I remember thinking he was dumb because he couldn't talk yet!
I wish my parents had explained that he was still a baby.

also when music videos had a sexual theme- it made me so embarrassed but the music was on in the 'background while my mom cleaned so she probably didn't notice.

drinking beer and smoking were main ones of course.

whats yours?

I wish they'd been happier. I wish they had some friends they did things with.They were both unhappy and lonely and expected me to listen to their lifes woes.
They were fab parents. But i really think if they had a club they went to each week and an exercise class and some friends who just sat in the garden whilst the children played, it would have been happier for them and therfore me.

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander

Truly awful

for me:-
To have been interested
To have said a good word once in a while

Realised my anger and lack of care was actually ADHD. I was diagnosed at 30 and I could weep for how much of my life I’ve wasted despising everything about myself, and if my mother just got over her ego for once bloody moment it could have been so different.

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander I'm so sorry x

Been loving and easy to talk to. Not criticised me constantly. Told me they loved me, just once.

On the surface I had a lovely, middle class upbringing, but my parents never once told me they loved me or made me feel special in the slightest. I was bullied horrifically for years, and never told a soul, as I knew they would find a way to blame me somehow.

I had rock bottom self esteem for years and still can't display any kind of real emotion, to anybody. I've had relationships and am now married but don't think I'm truly capable of loving anybody, aside from my children. I make sure I tell them I love and value them every day and would be gutted if they grew up feeling like I did.

If only they’d never met in the first place, the pair of BLOODY IDIOTS.

I wish my df had fought harder to be my df... I wish my dm had been a totally different person..
I wish I had had siblings..

Talked about periods and sex to show that I could talk to them about it.

Had fun - while they made so much effort to ensure that I attended clubs and had a great time, I don't think I've ever seen my parents having fun which makes me feel really sad.

Argued - just a little bit to show that it's okay to challenge others and disagree with them rather than silently seething

I wish my mother hadn't made me feel like I was weird - since becoming a mother I realise my behaviour and reactions to things were completely normal.
Also wish we had gone on holiday when I was a child - we went on one holiday (to the other side of the world) when I was six and that was it.

Wish they hadn’t left me to bring myself up from the age of 12 whilst ignoring the obvious mental health problems my mum admits she knew I had

Not place so much emphasis on what I looked like. I wanted praise for my achievements not dieting and looking nice.
Make our house more fun. Not reply with, "Read a book" every time my brother or I expressed boredom. Spend more time with us.

I wish they hadn’t always told me I was thinking myself into things when I was anxious. I didn’t understand that I was anxious - I was just a child, I couldn’t rationalise it and just felt all the horrible physical symptoms and then developed a complex that maybe I was deliberately trying to feel that way, even though it was out of my control.
My parents are absolutely amazing and my relationship with them has always been great. I don’t blame them at all, they were very VERY busy and a crying six year old who constantly complains of feeling sick every time you go into a restaurant/theatre/etc is probably not easy.

I wish my parents hadn't married ( to have a dreadful phase prior to divorce when divorced was very much frowned upon )

That aside I wish they had a smaller family
Had not spoiled the only boy.
Mum not been as overprotective
Let me have stylish clothes and not practical hand knitted/made
Had let me have nice long hair and let a hairdresser cut it, not mum with her general scissors ( not a good look)
I also wish one parent had not been a very heavy drinker which turned them nasty.
And wish we had not been as poor.
I also wish they had told us that we girls were loved

I sound a right misery.

I wish my mum in particular had been better equipped to support me when I was a deeply unhappy, bullied teen with massive self esteem issues. She tried but eventually it just baffled and irritated her and she treated it like an annoyance. I had a mental health crisis and dropped out of university in my second year and I got so much guilt tripping about how I was messing up my life and would never get a good job etc. I ended up having a massive bust up with her over it all and highlighted that the last time she had hugged me was about eight years previously and it was a wake-up call for her tbh.

@Adwodeabo

My mother smoked. She couldn’t afford to let me join school clubs or hobbies to learn skills but she had money for cigarettes. That one still rankles. She gets furious if I mention it.

The rest - I just wish they’d been more proactive in seeking out opportunities and support for me. Instead of just shrugging their shoulders and saying we can’t do anything about it.

Same. No after school clubs, this was back when children were left behind if they couldn’t afford school trips, so that happened. My one pair of school trousers got so short one year that even my form tutor started ripping the piss out of me, ‘you’re meant to be wearing trousers banter, not shorts’. There was always money forget ciggies tho

I always wished and needed for my parents (mainly my Mum) to tell me they loved me and were/are proud of me. Neither had demonstrative parents so that passed down, because of how it made me feel I've always made sure that I'm very open with my love and pride x

My biological parents:
Not abandoning me as a baby would have been a good start. Or at least bothering to register my birth beforehand.

My adoptive mother:
To be honest, there isn't much more I could ask for. Maybe it would have been useful if I'd spent more time around people my own age. Instead, I spent a lot of time surrounded by nuns, who were nice but it doesn't make up for social skills from playing with other children.

To have had some interest in me past the age of 10.
I'd subconsiously realised this had happened, but it was cemented when they've behaved exactly the same way with my DC.

to have treated their children fairly rather than equally. It's not appropriate to treat a 13 year old girl in the same way as her 8 year old sibling.

I wish they had insisted on tooth brushing and monitored to make sure I was doing it. I wouldn't have a gob full silver fillings now!

She should have stuck at 4 children. Maybe not got knocked up at all or got herself a termination.

I know it's what she wished she had done for the last two of us. One was 100% from the moment she conceived, she didn't want it, one of us was 'Meh. Too late to do anything about it now' as she hadn't even noticed until six months gone. Maybe not taking Valium and smoking throughout wouldn't have hurt, either.

I wish mine had encouraged me to take up hobbies or try activities. They were perfectly nice parents so I can't fault them much. But they never suggested any interests for me to try when I was little so I never had hobbies that others did and never took any extra curricular classes or sports. When I was older and came across things myself that I might enjoy like learning a musical instrument or particular sports I remember feeling that everyone else was ahead of me because they'd started younger.

Not cooked liver