Do you have a home that NO one visits - even in non pandemic times?

[SueEllenofDallas]

We live approx 2 hrs away - in different directions - from both our families. We were always expected to visit them more often because we were the ones who moved away which we didn't mind but over the years their visits to us have dwindled to nothing. I'm not talking about frail parents but very active retirees and our siblings.

We don't have "couple" friends anymore, they just drifted away as our DC and theirs got older and filled their weekends with activities.

So I go out for dog walks/coffees with friends, DH meets friends at the pub once or twice a month but no one comes here and I've just realised how weird that feels.

Anyone else have a house that receives no visitors?

We don't tend to have visitors - we've lived in our house two years and my mum's been twice, my sister has popped a handful of times for a brew, and we tend to visit friends at theirs or out somewhere. We're quite introverted people though and we like our space to be our own - I actually feel bit invaded when we have people round haha!

Luckily our closest friends love being the hosts and would prefer it that way. They have someone round almost every day at their house for a brew or for tea and we would hate that, but it takes all sorts doesn't it?! If nobody wanted to have people round nobody would ever socialise - we're just lucky to have friends who are the opposite to us.

I might just do that Bluntness I'm not very sociable so wouldn't like people round too often but I do miss the nice buzz visitors bring, enjoying a simple meal with them and the satisfied feeling when I've waved them off

Then invite folks op. You don’t need to do it often, just as you please, but it starts with one invite. You meet folks for coffee or walks, so why not ask them over for drinks one weekend evening, with their partner? Drinks and snacks maybe if you don’t fancy cooking first time? It will help also your friendships develop and also you only need to do it as and when you choose.

We love socialising so we have friends over regularly, as said, we had friends here last night, dinner, drinks, and even a bit of a dance, was a lot of fun, a very late night, then brekkie today and they headed off at lunch time.

My family never visit either, I can count on one hand the amount of times they’ve been to any of my houses since I moved out over 15 years ago. They also say it’s easier for us to go to them, but it isn’t, they just don’t want to make the effort. I cut visits right down and barely see them. Friends visit now and again but mostly we do things outside of the house. I prefer it over houses who have daily visitors, I like my peace too much and not having to hide clutter

We used to have a lot of visitors but since the lockdown obviously not. However I don’t want to return to lots of people coming round with all the endless preparations, cleaning etc. that it brings.

I love my friends and family very much and feel blessed to have them all but will be quite happy to see them outside and less of them at once. So just one lot at a time and only once a week will suit me just fine!

I was just talking to my DH about this...I grew up in a village where people just called in to see one another, our extended family were all nearby (several in the same village) & it was lovely. Since our DC are older (adults) & my mum died 2 years ago, our world has really shrunk down, then 2020 came along and it feels like we haven't welcomed anyone in the house for ages.

I was bought up in a house where nobody visited, my dad didn't like it. As a result I get really nervous before people come, spend the whole day before cleaning and panicking about food and drink. I feel like I am really awkward when hosting. I force myself to do it though, as my dh us v sociable and I want my kids to grow up having guests so they are not like me when they grow up!

@LillianBland Thank you

I grew up in a house where it was rare not to have visitors- every day.
My mother didn't work when I was a child, her whole day consisted of drinking tea and chatting to endless neighbours and friends.
It was unusual for me to get home from school and find my mother alone, more often there was some other people, to my mind randomers many I didn't know sitting chatting.

I hated it, found it very intrusive, for that reason I dislike having house guests now.

I used to but that was mainly down to my embarrassment. I lived in a rented flat above a takeaway, it was in a bit of a state and it was freezing so I never invited guests. I live in a nice house now so I'm happy to have people over!

Theres usually someone here, so it has been very strange having an empty home these last few months. Equally we regularly visit friends etc, our home is usually just a base for sleep and we don’t spend a huge amount of time here.

We usually visit grandma rather than the other way round as thats much easier for her.

Only DPs. Now we have DC my parents visit weekly. Before that it was once a year on average.

I asked a family member one November if she'd like to visit for the day. She said they were busy until the end of March.

shakes her fist

Thats karma for you - me being all smug about no visitors and what do you know a text message from a friend in the area next week, pop in for a cuppa and chat?

That'll teach me. lol