Why are some people so rude about people still living with their parents past the age of 20?

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Is this not normal in some areas?
In my area, this is completely normal. Most of my friends are mid 20s and still live at home with their parents.
The only people I know who have managed to move out are those who have had children or those in a couple who are renting together.

My boyfriend and I are 26 and living with our parents to save for a deposit. Our parents are both happy with this situation and we're not "lazy", 'immature" ect. I help around the house, look after my sisters and he does the same.

We are hoping to have the deposit sorted by next year.

But i'd never look my nose down at someone living at home with parents. Many of my friends are just saving up for a housing deposit.

I think many people forget that moving out is not as cheap or easy as it was years and years ago.
My parents had moved out by 17 but they understand that these days it's not so straightforward.

I think it’s a shame but appreciate the financial reasons to do so. How can you develop properly into your own person still living in your parental home? Just doesn’t feel healthy to me young people should be out making their own way in the world not snuggling at home with mum.

It's always been completely normal for young adults to live with parents. It's not a modern phenomenon.

It’s different now - when I was younger bought a flat in London for @100k - borrowed a 5% deposit and had a 95% mortgage . Can’t remember the salary multiple for the mortgage but no way would I be able to do or get the same now . Flat now worth @800k + - ridiculous . My kid is welcome to stay at home and save a deposit etc rent free when she finishes uni if she wishes rather than paying high rents and someone’s mortgage for them .

Time’s have just changed and it’s weird of people not to get that. Housing affordability is one huge factor but it’s not just that. Many people don’t settle down until mid/late 20s or 30s so if you can’t afford to buy alone and don’t feel comfortable buying property with a casual partner or living in house shares for a decade then a mutually agreement of living with family seems to suit a lot of people. You know who your housemates are, the rent is more affordable and lots of people actually like their family and want to spend time together. Providing everyone involved behaves in a fair and adult manner, it seems like a good solution for a lot of people.

My parents’ and grandparents’ generations and beyond didn’t leave home until they got married and started families of their own. Even then, there’d often be multiple generations of family members living under one roof. But often they’d marry by 21, and have their own place. No one going back through my family tree, was moving around as a single person renting here there and everywhere and living alone.

I think a lot of people who moved out at 18 assume those living at home live like children, getting washing/ironing/cleaning etc done for them and a home cooked meal by mum every night. In reality, I don’t know any adult children for whom this the case. Paying for their keep, doing their fair share or more of housework, cooking etc seems to be the norm.

A lot of younger people do not want to rent, see it as throwing their money away, so choose to stay at home for a few more years to save for a deposit. Can't blame them tbh.

@MsTSwift God how patronising.

People living at home still have jobs, friends, relationships, cook, clean, drive, travel, go out, manage a budget. You know all those things that help a person to develop into the person they become?

Left home at 19 to study in a different country, rented and all that jazz.

Then got married and ended up living with inlaws, managed to save for deposit but within Brexit looming we put a pause on the search. Still on pause.....

People from older generations need to understand that people nowadays want the same things!! They want to move out, they just can't.... it's not fun being married and having the inlaws living in the same house, sleeping not too far away............

I would never have wanted to live with my parents as an adult. We had a close and loving relationship, but I was more than ready for independence when I went off to university at 17 (thousands of miles away from my parents). That was very much my personal choice and my situation. I didn't expect to buy a house immediately, and it honestly never occurred to me that I needed to get on the property ladder in my 20s. I bought a house when I could afford it.

I think that adult children can certainly carve out independence when living with their parents. However, it can also be a way of avoiding adult responsibilities. I have seen that scenario many times: adult children who live in a state of extended adolescence, doing occasional chores around the house while their parents foot the bill for everything and continue doing the vast majority of cooking, cleaning, and maintaining the household. Not to mention the family dynamics that remain stuck in the past and never move into a mature adult-to-adult relationship. Again, this situation is definitely avoidable, and some families manage just fine in developing new ways of interacting.

My son moved back home because his rent was put up and he couldn't afford it.

It's no one's damn business what another adult does and if it works for all the parties involved. People who are rude about it, just tell them to go stick their neb elsewhere.

We are the exception in our friendship group as we purchased back in 2018 when I was 21. Most people we know are still at home and I don't think anything is wrong with that- they all want to get a deposit together which we were lucky enough to have saved by the time I graduated uni. A starter house round here will easily set you back 230k so it's hardly a surprise it takes people some time!

@Lazypuppy I imagine then you’re over 40 or are lucky enough to have the money to have the option.

The majority of people can’t get on the housing ladder straight out of school/college/Uni so will need to rent. Rent these days can be twice as much per month as a mortgage meaning saving any leftover money is difficult to impossible. To combat this the majority will stay home to save up the deposit so they can get a mortgage and avoid the crippling rent.

People shouldn't be judged for it but it wouldn't be happening in my home. Not at 26

I think it depends to be honest, particularly on the job. I moved out age 24, to tske my first proper job after uni which paid relatively well. Previous jobs were either supermarket or fixed term in an office, and so moving out wasnt practical. My parents never forced me out, but i didnt have the best upbringing and wanted to move out asap. I think living st home while saving up, or looking for a better job, is perfectly normal.
I do struggle to understsnd the mindset of those who could move, but wont. My feiend is a teacher and well paid. She lives home with her parents, contributes nothing towstds bills, and has no inclination to move out unless she could own her own 3 bedroom house and would never entertain a flat share as she could never share a bathroom, not even with her parents (en suite). She will happily pay to get a new csr outright or 100 on some jeans, but doesnt seem in any rush to move out which i do find odd to be honest

I dont think the trend of living at home until you can both afford a mortgage is entitely sensible either. Some people i know have done this, but theyre young and theres no guarantee the realtionship will last. Also isnt it a bit old fashioned to go straight feom parents home to living together with partner? Wheres the chance for independent living etc. I know many people, myself included (previously) assume they wont move out until they can buy a house. Thats not really realistic gor many, and also there are some benefits to flatsharing and renting when younger. Im not tied down when i rent, if i want to go for a fantastic job in a different city i can. I have few commitments and csn travel for work, im not tied down. I also think being independent is so helpful, at least i know it was for me.
Everyones an individual but i do find it odd when someone in their 20s stays at home though they could afford not to

The only reason why I think people should absolutely move out and live by themselves for a bit before moving in with a partner is the independence they learn. It is different if you have to do absolutely everything by yourself and imho it is a valuable experience for both, women and men.

But in the end I wouldn't judge. Why would i.

I moved out at 16, if life had been better at home I would have stayed longer. I’d be 😱 if mine tried to move at that age but things are different for them thankfully

I think the more judge-y comments are when the dcs are still living at home and haven’t grown up. Ie. Their mummy still cooks, cleans, washes their clothes etc, and the dc squanders all their money, without saving for the future and/or contributing to household bills etc.

I understand that in the SE prices are huge but it's not like that throughout the country. Perfectly possible to rent on one salary.

I dont think age is an important barometer, rather employment and wages. Someone on a 10hr a week contract in tesco would struggle to move out due to lack of consistent wages with OT etc, even at 26, while a probation officer on 30k a year starting off would be able to afford it, even at age 21. I dont think 'saving for a house' is really a good reason to stay at home for decades either. Whats the obsession with house ownership? Theres much more flexibility renting and all of my landlords have been great. You do need to be csreful of the property you rent of course, but i dont think renting is inherently wrong.
My friend turned down a teaching job in Bristol last year. It was a great opportunity, well paid and she realy wanted it. But she wouldnt have been able to buy her own place and refused to rent or share so turned it down which i think is really sad. A geown adults employment prospects being limited by a geographical location to their patents house is a real shame..why restrict yourself so much? Fine if you live in a busy, bustling city. Not so if you live in the south wales valleys

Could probably be shortened to "why are some people so rude?"
And the answer is: "because looking down on others make them feel good"

I find it is very helpful if people are saving for a mortgage or going through education that they couldn't otherwise afford, but if they are just playing the 'Peter Pan' game endlessly then it seems disrespectful to their parents. Though I don't want my children to leave too soon, as a parent I am already building their savings accounts so they have money to put towards somewhere to live when they are older. As a person who comes from nothing, I am hyper aware of the value of owning your own home, even if it is a shared flat with siblings.

The only thing I find strange is that ‘saving for a deposit’ is viewed as an all-encompassing reason for continuing to live with your parents on here, which seems to end up artificially prolonging adolescence AND being prematurely middle-aged because of a society-wide drive to own property. And to artificially restrict young people’s lives to their home towns at an age when an absence of ties can mean it’s an excellent time to move around for a job, fun etc.

It’s a societal change for sure. I don’t think I knew more than one or two people who moved back home after university, and they did so because they were doing my home country’s PGCE equivalent and had their placements at their own former schools. We all lived for years in house shares bed sits or squats or were property guardians, and owning a house/flat wasn’t either a prospect or a preoccupation.

My relationship with my parents was too strained when I was young to contemplate living with them even to save money. I would have loved to have the kind of parents where this would have been tenable!

The only people I judge for living at home are the ones where mummy still does everything for them - you’re an adult living at home your mum shouldn’t be doing all your laundry and cooking cleaning etc

Tbh I’ve had it go the other way as well, I once got into an argument on a date (!) because I rented and they guy said I was stupid for ‘pissing money up the wall’ when I could be living at home

My mum and I would have killed each other if I’d lived at home any longer - I moved out three weeks after my 21st birthday. In fact, she found the flat share for me

I wasn’t earning much but I needed to leave.

My brother is 24, earns £33k a year and lives at home because he doesn’t want to pay rent. Then again, my mum actually likes him and enjoys having him there.