Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

I am not in work at the moment, although I am a professional office worker like DH. He is working at home, he is able to separate home from work as he works in a home office in the garden, so he leaves the house. He saves loads of time and money on the commute and it has worked out ok these last five months as he has established working relationships. But he will be glad to get back into the office, he likes to see people.

If full time WFH becomes normal, I worry about anyone starting a new job or entering the work force. It will be harder to learn from others and build up working relationships. There is also the social impact, I have made a lot of friends through work over the years, that would be more difficult. I didn’t meet my DH at work, but plenty of people have I the past so that is another social impact.

When I go back to work, I think I would like the flexibility of being able to WFH quote regularly, but would not like it to be all the time.

Some people socialise with non work friends.

People (on MN, who all seem to hate their colleagues) keep saying this - I think quite snottily - but I think this is another big difference for me from when I WFH much more happily, for years, in the past and now. That was mostly before I had DC and I socialised in the evening a lot. I now have a toddler and with every will in the world (and I do try very actively to keep up friendships) my social time has gone down significantly. I have friends but it's not really possible for me to replace the time in the company of other adults (that are not DH) that I got from work with time with friends; I've gone from seeing other adults nearly daily to every couple of weeks and I do find that hard.

@Hardbackwriter

Some people socialise with non work friends.

People (on MN, who all seem to hate their colleagues) keep saying this - I think quite snottily - but I think this is another big difference for me from when I WFH much more happily, for years, in the past and now. That was mostly before I had DC and I socialised in the evening a lot. I now have a toddler and with every will in the world (and I do try very actively to keep up friendships) my social time has gone down significantly. I have friends but it's not really possible for me to replace the time in the company of other adults (that are not DH) that I got from work with time with friends; I've gone from seeing other adults nearly daily to every couple of weeks and I do find that hard.

I agree. And people misunderstand - I don't really socialise with work people, outside of the odd popping out for coffee or a sandwich during the day but I miss colleagues massively for collaboration and sparking off each other for ideas.

What I miss socially about leaving my house is that a lot of my friends work in central London so I would meet up with them (lunches more than dinners now I have DC) and all my networking was London based, so breakfast seminars, getting invited to nice lunches, meeting up with people in similar fields etc. My life was busy and varied, both socially and professionally and all of that has gone with enforced WFH. Life is way more boring!

Are you me OP? I could have written your exact post myself.
Wfh has saved us a fair bit of money so far on fuel, work clothes and the expensive sodding sandwiches from the on site sandwich bar because I'm too lazy to make my own. But it's going to get a lot more expensive soon when we'll need to have the heating on.

My employer is big on "work/life balance", but my work/life balance is worse while I'm wfh than it ever has been when I'm working in the office. You don't get the little distractions between emails, you don't bump into people at the printer, in the toilet, or wherever. There's nowhere to walk to - toilet in next room, no coffee machine, no printing, no walk from car park.
No commute between work and home to make a demarcation between one and the other.

I can't wait to get back to the office.

@Ava2323 exactly!! Procrastination at its finest yesterday afternoon. Just wasn’t happening.
I think the issue for me also is that I used to globetrot almost each month SOMEWHERE until March too and so I would always have a “break” from the monotony of the office and the way we work too and obvs work from somewhere completely different which was fun and appealed to my sense of wanderlust too.
Now, I’m very lucky to have a separate working space from DH with all the right equipment/ tech etc but I’m very bored with it all.
Someone else mentioned extroverts struggling with it now and needing people and this comment is very accurate - for me.
I am enjoying more sleep and being able to exercise more regularly / not having a commute of over and hour each way though so there are some benefits but I do miss people!!

I’ve found my clan. Both DH and I are wfh, 2 primary school DDs (reception Starting next week and year 3)

When lockdown started looking longer term we bought a desk, which is squeezed in our bedroom. One of us works at the kitchen table, one the bedroom. I used to wfh once every couple of week and enjoyed it - really productive in an empty house and as a bonus did some dusting or laundry in between things. Now even if the kids are out with the childminder DH is always there. Always. Judging my biscuit jar trips, asking what’s for lunch... breathing!! I used to eat soup at lunch in the office, or cereal at home, now tend to have ‘real food’ as there are other people around to think about. Weight piling on :(

I miss people, incidental exercise (I commuted on a bike, running up and down stair in the office etc) and being nosy - knowing what was going on in other teams and projects from coffee machine chats and overheard snippets.

I also never stop - I have the kind of project job where there is always more work than time, and I literally live at work now, if I do take a lunch pause I then feel guilty and work even later.

Wfh a day or so a week, on my own, absolutely fine. Wfh for the rest of my life in the bedroom or kitchen with DH as my only colleague ... hmmm.

Oh and the arsehole that is presumably knocking down his entire house up the road with a domestic hammer drill in 40 seconds on 10 second off bursts all day every week day for the last god knows how many weeks can also piss off.

@Hardbackwriter

Some people socialise with non work friends.

People (on MN, who all seem to hate their colleagues) keep saying this - I think quite snottily - but I think this is another big difference for me from when I WFH much more happily, for years, in the past and now. That was mostly before I had DC and I socialised in the evening a lot. I now have a toddler and with every will in the world (and I do try very actively to keep up friendships) my social time has gone down significantly. I have friends but it's not really possible for me to replace the time in the company of other adults (that are not DH) that I got from work with time with friends; I've gone from seeing other adults nearly daily to every couple of weeks and I do find that hard.

Yep! I don’t even have work friends, just colleagues who are perfectly pleasant people to work with and talk to. I have seen very little of my friends during lockdown - it was already infrequent enough that as we mostly have small children - and it’s quite lonely.

I'm self employed and wfh alot and love it. Lockdown made it harder as DH and little one here too and, like you, I find that distracting even if I can lock myself away. I like my own space when I work. I also enjoyed being able to go out sometimes. So in theory wfh is great just not in pandemic scenario.

I've never wfh before, and I am finding that there are both pros and cons to it.

It's great in terms of saving money - not only commuting costs and buying coffee / lunch, but also childcare costs. When schools go back we won't need to pay for after school club as I can do the school run and then come back to do a bit more work.

I do think I'm a bit less productive and more easily distracted at home, but I save on the commuting time, so I can use that to make up a bit of extra time.

Personally I'm not struggling with boundaries between work and home, but DH definitely is. He now frequently checks email etc in the evening whereas he rarely used to.

It's nice that we're all eating together every night (previously DH was often home too late).

I do miss the social aspect. I never used to socialise with my colleagues outside work but I did enjoy chatting to them in the office.

It's all a bit more boring / Groundhog Day now. I used to have more variety in my working day, and while that was not a problem for the first few weeks of wfh, it's starting to bother me now.

So a mixed bag for me!

I work for a company that has always been fully WFH with people throughout the UK. One of the big problems with the giant work from home covid situation is so many companies basically cobbled stuff together over night, kids needing to be home schooled, it's not really a proper good look at whether wfh is viable. I do think co-working spaces will see an increase though, I know several people on my team who use them to get that office vibe a couple of times a week.

We’ve worked mainly from home for many years. Some people love it, others struggle with isolation. It’s not for everyone and must be harde without the proper set up.
We set up staff with office furniture and good IT when they start, so it’s comfortable and we have the equipment to make it work. Culturally were used to it and still have private gossip as an aside during meetings, coffee catch ups and optional activities like yoga and Zumba. People do virtual marathons in groups and we sometimes go to a virtual wine bar for a drink after work.
The biggest difference in lockdown has been the commitment to understand those with caring and childcare commitments. It ok to be interrupted by a five year old, or to have a screeching eleven year old. Nobody has to hide their lives. I do think culture is key to making it work well.
For me the benefits have always been reduced travel time and no travel costs. Add in an ability to walk the dog midday or pop out to the shops at a quiet time or hang the washing out and it feels entirely positive.

I also think that huge amounts of almost unconscious learning happen when people work alongside each other. Both I terms of effective ways to work as well as ineffective. This is particularly important for young people who are just strong work.

As a young graduate I knew the nuts and bolts of the job, but it was my colleagues (good and bad) that shaped me, taught me, influenced me.

This can't happen in the same way at home.

I honestly think new recruits will miss huge amounts valuable learning without working alongside colleagues.

I also think that huge amounts of almost unconscious learning happen when people work alongside each other. Both I terms of effective ways to work as well as ineffective. This is particularly important for young people who are just strong work

True

It's also about getting to know your colleagues. Just a friendly hi in the morning. A few comments about holidays, school etc. All helps with bonding.

If someone has a difficult call, then having a colleague there can help guide them, talk them down, reassure them etc.

If people need to offload about an issue, about management issues etc

All easier if people can see each other, interact face to face etc.

A lot of my job is around using certain computer systems. Being able to help people on line has been a huge bonus. I can get them to share their screen then talk them through how to do what they want to do. In the office there were always interruptions and a million reasons why they couldn't learn how to do things.

Usage of the system has hugely improved especially with the people who were previously resistant.

WFH works for me. I am by nature solitary. I get enough human contact outside of family either by phone or by having a quick chat at the allotment.

OO and @ghostyslovesheets - you articulate it eloquently and perfectly for me !

All my friends who loved WFH have now decided that it’s time to return to the office

I do the odd report at home And I was working one day a week at first form home but it didn’t really work. personally I would hate to work from home. I like to keep it separate

The only thing I don’t like about WFH is that I have put on a load of weight. I love everything else about it. I get up at 8.30am instead of 6.30am now. I don’t have to catch three trains there and back. I can make home cooked food. I can do hobbies in the evening. I can wear a smart top with tracksuit bottoms and slippers. It is just the best!!!!

My employer is big on "work/life balance", but my work/life balance is worse while I'm wfh than it ever has been when I'm working in the office. You don't get the little distractions between emails, you don't bump into people at the printer, in the toilet, or wherever. There's nowhere to walk to - toilet in next room, no coffee machine, no printing, no walk from car park.
No commute between work and home to make a demarcation between one and the other.

I can't wait to get back to the office

Ym@JaJaDingDong - are you me?

I can't wait to get back to the office.

My commute is really easy - either 20 minutes cycling or bus, or a car ride and a walk.

I can see that people who have horrendous commutes would like to WFH.

I am more than happy to have a mixture of WFH and office work - which is basically what I am doing now.

I absolutely hate it. I feel so lonely who isolated. My team are so lovely and I really miss their company. I think things might improve a bit when the kids are back at school because I find myself working longer hours due to the constant interruptions. I even miss my commute to work...

I’ve worked one day a week from home for nearly 10 years, plus am quite introverted, so when this all started in March I thought I’d cope pretty well.

But the reality is that I’m really not enjoying it and can’t wait to go back to the office. In particular I’m finding that wfh makes me more anxious and worried about whether I’m doing my job well enough. Not having colleagues to have a quick chat with means that I end up mulling things over and worrying over unnecessary things more then I would normally. Plus as already mentioned upthread, ‘working from home’ can quickly morph into ‘living at work’.

My team are so lovely and I really miss their company

UnMN hugs to you. It is really hard

I hear you.

The people I work with are a massive part of why I love working where I do. I am missing them.

Hopefully more people will return (at least a bit) once school starts.

Absolutely LOVE working from home. I manage an international team and we never meet anyway. WFH I am a lot more flexible to have early or late calls with them. I was also unlucky and am now suffering from "long Covid", WFH is a life saver. If I had to commute, I would have to give up work now since my energy levels are down and I have shortness of breath.

I’m loving wfh, even with a toddler. At first it was hard, trying to both wfh and entertain toddler. We had to take turns to work / supervise toddler and make up time in the evenings when he was in bed.
Now that nursery is back, DH drops him off in the morning and goes to his empty work office which is not far from nursery. I get the house to myself so can do my work in peace and also do some much needed exercise. I’m more productive and happier. If I had to work with the commute I’d have no time for exercise as it would be home, breastfeed boy, sort out tea, put boy to bed. It’d be about 8pm after all that and I’d be too knackered to bother doing anything.

What's hard now is that a lot of other ways of socialising and human contact (actual contact instead of on a PC) are cut off - gigs, clubs, social groups - all activities are curtailed by the regulations about meeting up - and some people will have found that really isolating.

WFH is isolating. But it's hard to get out and socialise at the moment as well.