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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I missing something about working from home?

228 replies

Ava2323 · 28/08/2020 14:42

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

  • being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
  • lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
  • having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
  • no separation between work life and home life
  • awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
  • lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

OP posts:
FelicisNox · 29/08/2020 20:18

You're not a weirdo, the deciding factor here is CHOICE.

You had the choice to work from home or elsewhere and that's changed but things are better now so take your laptop, get out of your spare room and go to the nearest cafe with WiFi and work from there.

For now lockdown is over but with winter coming that may change. You probably have a window of 6-8 wks to get out of the house so make the most of it.

Endoftether2000 · 29/08/2020 20:22

People who are loving home working during this Pandemic are possibly people that never had the option to home work historically. I have found whilst working in the office all this time (even though I have the option to home work) alongside peers in the same position in different organisations so not a singular opinion. Home workers often are the worst for the following. Not answering urgent emails when they are shown to be online. Not answering mobiles which ring out when they are supposed to be at work. Answering phones when they are clearly not at work but out and about during working hours. Social media accounts which reflect home based projects which clearly would have taken longer than the Weekends and evenings. So yes working from home has created this mass change in culture some people unfortunately see it as using it to fit in work around their lifestyle and what they want to do however this home working due to pandemic wasn't meant for this. What organisations will probably realise post this home working advice and the furloughs , is who the non value adding employees are so this saving jobs is already starting to look like it will backfire.

RedskyAtnight · 29/08/2020 20:30

I think the lack of choice is a good point.

I like working in an office and bouncing ideas off colleagues. My job is also much easier when I can meet face to face as opposed to being on the phone for hours at a time. I also hate having my work space in my home living area. If I'd chosen to do this, I'd probably be more positive about it.
Lots of people are saying that working at home is a benefit due to lack of commute - but they (presumably) knew about the commute when they took the job, so that was something they chose.

Jay670 · 29/08/2020 20:32

People in our office have confused working from home with doing what they like and in some cases completely taking the piss.

QuacksInTheDark · 29/08/2020 20:34

I wouldn’t mind half a week at work and half at home but every day at home drove me bonkers!

keffie12 · 29/08/2020 21:06

Our eldest son who is a software developer has had go work from home from March. He loathes it as do alot in his office.

He has done the occasional odd few days working from home before, when he hasn't been able to go in for various reasons which is OK.

For him its sleeping in the office now. They are moving so he will at leave have a separate office which won't be in their bedroom.

Having 2 youngsters now and a 3 bed house has meant no separate office. Hence part of why they are moving to a 4 bed house. Yes they have sold snd bought a new place

He knows he is lucky to have a well paid job and to have stable work however he can't wait to go back to the office which he doesn't think they will this side of 2020.

He wants the cut off of work and home and doesn't like the combining of both and certainly wouldn't want a permanent work from home job.

They will go back in the office though. The company had only just renewed the lease in January so they won't be closing down the office

MrsJBaptiste · 29/08/2020 21:16

My employer is big on "work/life balance", but my work/life balance is worse while I'm wfh than it ever has been when I'm working in the office. You don't get the little distractions between emails, you don't bump into people at the printer, in the toilet, or wherever. There's nowhere to walk to - toilet in next room, no coffee machine, no printing, no walk from car park

I could have written this word for word.

We don't have a spare room so i have a desk set up in the living room which means I can't get away from being in the 'office'! My work is busier than ever so I'm logging on at 7am and without the commute first, I feel like I get up, have a coffee and start work unless I go for a run first but that means I have to get up even earlier...

By the end of the day my legs look and feel like big fat sausages as I've barely moved all day. No walking round the building, walking to other offices, walking to the loo or the canteen, no wonder I've put weight on! Luckily the gym is niw back open so I can at least finish work and go straight there to get some headspace.

We're not back in the office until at least January and it might be a mix of WOH and WFH which I think I could cope with.

InvisibleDragon · 29/08/2020 22:53

You're not missing something. It's awful. I hate it.

I've been writing up a big project and it's just me and my laptop, squeezing out section after section, day after day after day. Really miss being in an office with colleagues. Really miss the mental switch of going to a work place and getting into work mode. (Do not miss the commute though!)

To make matters worse, my DH is a doctor who started doing loads of online clinics about a month ago. He commandeered the desk in our bedroom, relegating me to the living room. Even with the door closed, I can still hear everything he says (literally, word for word), which would be a huge breach of patient confidentiality. I have to wear head phones all the time to block out the sound and it's really getting on my nerves.

Talk about 1st world problems, but I'm hopefully starting a non-WFH job in October and I cannot wait.

CrunchyNutNC · 30/08/2020 09:45

My job is very stressful at times and whilst most of the time I do enjoy it (otherwise I'd have left) there are times when it makes me stressed and unhappy.

Now that I'm WFH i find that when I'm going through a tough week or two I really dread even being in the same room as my desk, and it makes me really aggrieved that there are bits of my home - which is meant to be a sanctuary - that I have such negative associations with. I feel like I've lost a room.

JaJaDingDong · 30/08/2020 10:25

With you MrsBaptiste.
And you have a great taste in husbands too!

RedskyAtnight · 30/08/2020 11:53

I'm wondering if people's views about wfh will change when the DC are back at school and they are not about for company/distraction. Clearly, if you are trying to homeschool youngsters I imagine not having them about will make things easier. But from my point of view it'll mean even less interaction with people during the day. Plus due to staggered starts my DC are finishing school an hour later than normal ... so the time I'm stuck on my own will be even longer than it normally is.

SwedishEdith · 30/08/2020 11:56

Lots of people are saying that working at home is a benefit due to lack of commute - but they (presumably) knew about the commute when they took the job, so that was something they chose

Plenty of employers have been closing local offices and moving their staff into central city hubs over the last decade. Even after staff mentioned the loss to local businesses and services. So, no, many have not chosen their commutes.

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/08/2020 12:23

Lots of people are saying that working at home is a benefit due to lack of commute - but they (presumably) knew about the commute when they took the job, so that was something they chose Hmm

the choice is work or be on the dole, you call that a choice?

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/08/2020 12:26

I'm wondering if people's views about wfh will change when the DC are back at school and they are not about for company/distraction.

on the contrary, working hours will become a lot more efficient, freeing hours to have hobbies and opportunities to socialise.

If you were not here for the kids when you were at work, they will be equally fine if you use this time to have a life.

Strictly no benefit to ever go back in the office, and most workers have been wanting to stay home for years, since the technology was there!

RedskyAtnight · 30/08/2020 12:30

If you were not here for the kids when you were at work, they will be equally fine if you use this time to have a life.

Um, when I'm wfh, I'm .... working. I don't have time to take up hobbies and socialise with others (and any others that I might socialise with will also be working). If wfh means you don't have to work and can just spend the time doing what you want, no wonder so many people are enjoying it!!

chomalungma · 30/08/2020 12:30

Strictly no benefit to ever go back in the office, and most workers have been wanting to stay home for years, since the technology was there

Don't you think there is some benefit in going into an office maybe a few times a week?

If all members of a company just worked from home all the time, do you think they feel a part of that company?

RedskyAtnight · 30/08/2020 12:33

the choice is work or be on the dole, you call that a choice?

You can choose where you live and where you work. It would be a very unusual circumstance where there was only 1 job a person could do and they were forced to live somewhere that was a long commute away.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/08/2020 01:04

Not at all BU
I like it however because
(A) been at my place for many years so know the rat runs as it were
(B) my workplace has a challenging, even toxic culture , so Being not in a room really
Helps
(C) I’m now a single parent and school starting is fairly staggered

What I do miss however is the exercise
To get there and back , I’ve gained a stone

But I’ve loved it , would happily never go back

Aridane · 31/08/2020 08:06

Where I work, the management team who say WFH. is hunky dory are a) those with home offices - ie a separate room with desk, ergonomic chair, monitor, keyboard, mouse etc - ie not laptop on lap in bedroom, and / or b) those with small children and / or long commute

They describe compulsory WFH as empowering and if you dissent from the party orthodoxy and don’t concur with WFH leading to a better work / life balance (what? - sitting on sofa with laptop for 12 hours before sitting on sofa without laptop), then you’re regarded as a bit weird

It’s as if empathy and understanding not everyone os the same has had a corporate bypass

Chipsahoy · 31/08/2020 08:10

My dh works from home full time and has done for 10 years, he too is finding a bit isolating right now. He used to go to a co working centre at least once a week and he would network or simply go out for lunch with the people there during their work day.

Maybe once places like that are open again it won’t feel so isolating.

Chwaraeteg · 31/08/2020 08:14

Interesting first post Ava2323 Hmm

Aridane · 31/08/2020 08:45

@Chwaraeteg - if you want to call out the OP as a troll, report to MNHQ

If you think her nuanced posts = goady fucker, The. Say so.

But quit with the passive aggressive “interesting first post”and the oh so clever smug confused emoticon Confused

🙄

Chwaraeteg · 31/08/2020 09:03

Yeah, perhaps I should have been clearer. I don't think Ava2323 is a troll. I suspect she has come here to spread government propaganda. As I pointed out on another thread recently there has been a sudden and suspicious increase in negative WFH threads on this site since the papers announced a government PR blitz on getting people back to the office.

And yes, I understand that some people genuinely don't enjoy working from home, I actually know 2 people in real life who don't. It's the wider context (as I've outlined above) and the fact that the OP is a first time poster that led me to comment.

chomalungma · 31/08/2020 09:14

Yeah, perhaps I should have been clearer. I don't think Ava2323 is a troll. I suspect she has come here to spread government propaganda. As I pointed out on another thread recently there has been a sudden and suspicious increase in negative WFH threads on this site since the papers announced a government PR blitz on getting people back to the office

I started a WFH thread. I am really concerned about the silo mentality that is developing and the potential impact on the work we do and whether we maintain competitiveness - if we lose that ethos and company culture that makes us special.

And it's been building up.

I am glad the OP said it.

Oh - and if you read any of my other threads, you'll know that I hate this Government with a passion and have been told I am an unabashed Leftie.

Figmentofmyimagination · 31/08/2020 09:24

My problem is that’s it’s always there ‘to do’. I’m a professional researcher/writer, working to usually around 6-week deadlines. I love wfh but eg I’m already thinking ‘today I could just pop next door to the office and get in a couple of hours’ work while my teens are sleeping’ (it’s a bank holiday, which passed me by until yesterday) and I know that I am going to end up losing a big chunk of my 6 weeks of annual holiday because I have failed to be sufficiently organised to take the time out.

I do go for a cycle ride every day, to substitute for my cycle to the station, but I have also developed a lower back problem from sitting too long even though my office furniture is top notch. I definitely work far longer (although not necessarily more productive) hours than when I’m in the office with my 2 hour each way commute. I need to be more organised.