What the actual f - ex has ordered lube one day after splitting

[Mondayschildis]

Name changed as frankly embarrassing. I don’t even know what to think. We broke up yesterday, still living together but the plan is that I’m going to move out as soon as I find somewhere. He said he wants to be friends and it’s all quite amicable, we are both 29. Anyway I’ve just gone on Amazon (we share an account because it has prime membership) and looked at most recent orders and he has ordered lube and three new tops... am I overthinking to think that he is planning to launch himself straight away into someone new with a whole new sex life? He literally never buys new clothes.

Maybe he has taken up DIY?

Yep so I’m sobbing in one room and he’s having a wank marathon next door, lovely

1. It'll be for his hand and
2. He is your EX- don't let his actions bother you

Time to get separate amazon accounts.

Did he initiate the split? Are you crying over the split or the lube?

@mayandjuniper

1) It'll be for his hand and 2) He is your EX- don't let his actions bother you

Absolutely this. Try not to let him get to you.

Crying over the split as been together since we were 22, just a bit shocked that he is thinking about lube

I agree it's for his hand. I don't know of a single man that went out on the pull equipped with a bottle of lube.

Order a rabbit.

Is it at all possible he knows you'll see it and he's just being extra-shitty to punish you for daring to be his Ex?

Also, a tube of lube is hardly a whole new exciting sex life. It'll be all over his tennis socks in no time.

But yes you’re right I shouldn’t be bothered and certainly not enough to be posting a thread about it

Now you're no longer an item his sex life is none of your business I'm afraid. I know it's hard and I hope you feel better soon.

Agree with PPs that he sounds like a wanker In six months' time you'll be laughing about this with your mates. Time is a healer. You're young and you'll find someone better.

How’s your house hunt going?

Sorry for your breakup but this is funny!
There is a way for to share Prime within a household without having the same account.
Definitely order some large condoms or a massive vibe before doing that though.

@AnneLovesGilbert I’m going to be moving into a flatshare for a while, really just want to move out now and move forward, it is so painful being in the same house

Order a gigantic box of condoms.

Did he get a Fleshlight as well?

I think that you should go onto Amazon and order a King Kong Big Dong, some nipple tassels and an egg whisk (just to confuse him). Sorry to hear about your split. It sounds very sad.

Was it a mutual decision to split OP?

Sorry for your breakup but this is funny!

Order a rabbit

^ this

Sorry, posted too soon. The above was a quote from up thread.
I was going to comment that I wouldn't have found it funny. I too would have found it painful.

I'd go with ordering loads of condoms and then going away for the weekend all cheerful and excited.

Wont make you feel better but it will fuck with his head, so its worth it just for that!

So he orders something perfectly reasonable (you don't have to stop wanking when you're sad ), but everyone's answer is yo order confirms and try and mess with his head? Nice

Ok time for you to start ordering.

Some stone patio slabs.
A book on goat rearing.
A cock ring.
Some glitter.

You could think of loads more I'm sure.