Two months to decide or never have another baby

[Whatnext2018]

Hi all,

After 9 years struggling to conceive, miscarriages and an emergency ectopic right tube loss) on the third round of ivf I fell pregnant at age 39.
We now have a gorgeous 2 year old Dd.
We had one remaining embryo frozen from my cycle at 39, they keep it for us until the end of November.
I have to decide (quickly) if we will try again by implanting it in the next couple of months.
I’d be 42 when i got pregnant, 43 when the baby was born.
I’m just really unsure, I’m thinking it would be unlikely to work anyway as we failed so many other cycles and our girl is a miracle, but I feel sad at her being an only child.
I’m also not sure I’m too old..! The egg would be from when I was 39, so not ‘As’ bad, but still...what would you do?

I think you are more likely to regret not doing it. You sounds like a wonderful loving Mum, I think it’s worth a shot.

Its better to try, and fail...than regret not trying.

We were in a similar situation just a couple of years younger. We had one remaining 'early blastocyst' in the freezer which looked not too promising on paper. Anyway now we have two DC with a 3.5 year gap and they adore each other. Go for it!! Good luck xx

Go for it. You might regret not going for it.

@Whatnext2018

It does tear at my heart thinking of letting it go and what will happen to it.

That tells me you aren't ready to give up hope of that embryo becoming a child.

I got my first without too much hassle. My second was hard, various other treatments before we hit IVF, round 1 failed. And I really wasn't sure if we should accept we were too old and walk away.
But I wasn't ready to empty my cupboards of baby stuff and dispose of my embryos.

We went for it, if it works great if it doesn't empty the cupboards. No stress!
I actually didn't think it would work but wanted to roll the dice.

Baby is now 3 and a joy in my life. So glad we went for it and the timing has been great too.

If you are unsure either way then why not do it then it leaves it up to fate 😊

As it may or may not work it's out of your hands then but you'll always know you didn't make the decision yourself.

However don't open yourself up to the hurt and pain if you think it would reopen old wounds or if you think you might start to get your hopes up too much and open yourself up for disappointment.

Good luck either way whatever you choose ❤️😊

Better to regret trying than not knowing if it worked x

Go for it!! You’re not that old.
Best of luck to you!!

I’m 43 and had my third DC recently. I spent 9 months sick and exhausted, thinking I must be insane to do it, watching my friends enjoy the return of normality as their children became older and more independent. But now, a few months in, it’s wonderful and I couldn’t be happier.

I had my first at 39. I’ve been trying for number two pretty much ever since (lots of miscarriages), I say go for it! It might just work out. Good luck

I would absolutely go for it. It sounds like you'll regret not doing it.

Go for it OP. I think "letting fate decide" would give you a sense of completeness whatever the outcome, rather than just letting the embryo go, and always wondering if you made the right choice. I wouldn't worry about your age too much, plenty of parents are having children later these days, and as you already have a 2 year old, being a few years older for your second, isn't going to be a huge deal, you already know what parenting entails, and have experienced the lack of sleep, and exhaustion it brings! In my antenatal group we had one mum who was 19, a few ladies early/mid 20's, a couple in their 30's, and two who were over 40 when we all had our first babies. We're all mum's, and get on brilliantly despite the age differences. We're all mum's at the end of the day, for some that happens earlier or later in life than others. If you can afford it, are emotionally, mentally and are physically capable of bringing up a baby, then that's about as good a time as any, be that at 19 or 49. Good luck Op.

I would say go for it!
If it sticks it's meant to be!
If not then it's not!
Good luck❤️

In your situation I would do it. If it's meant to be it will stick, if not at least you know and aren't forever thinking 'what if'

Thanks so much everyone 💜

I think I’ll go for it (eek!)

I would definitely go for it. If it doesn’t work you’ll have closure you tried instead of spending the rest of your life thinking ‘what if’ full of regret.
Good luck, I really hope it works for you

Go for it and let fate decide. What will be will be. Could you bear to let your hard-obtained and much-wanted embryo perish?

@Whatnext2018

Thanks so much everyone 💜

I think I’ll go for it (eek!)

Good luck OP I had IVF too and never had enough embryos to freeze so I didn’t have any left over. I think I would have used them or donated them if I did.

A couple of years will not make you to old, you will have a small child if this cycle works which could be difficult but most people have two close in age, I think if it was me I'd regret not trying, I wouldn't regret it if I had a child though

Good luck OP.

Do call about that time limit to check it’s ‘free’ storage limit that’s up.

I wish you the best!

Go for it andnever have to deal with the inevitable "what if. ......"

Just so you know my daughter was born when I was 39 and my son was born when I was 45. Being a parent later in life is not easy but I would not have it any other way.

I should add he is adopted so I din't actually give birth but adopted him aged 3 at 48.