To say that if you are quite covid risk adverse there are some places it’s best not to go

[Scentsandsensible]

Inspired by a few threads and personal experience.

I’m not saying stay at home and be isolated BUT... if you’re someone who is going to have a panic attack if someone gets within a metre it’s probably best to avoid

• busy shopping centres
• theme parks
• pubs

-restaurants

• busy hotels

I do get that this may sound unfair - but it’s the reality. If you feel vulnerable these probably aren’t the best places to go.

YANBU OP, I am really conscious in supermarkets etc to maintain a social distance as everyone needs to shop, but if people are complaining at non essential places eg restaurants and theme parks, then they shouldn't go. I haven't been to a restaurant or indoor cafe yet, and don't intend on returning to the indoor classes at my gym, as I feel that it'll be tricky to maintain a social distance, especially with sweat etc, at a gym class!

This makes me really cross, because those following distancing and following the ‘rules’ then have to send our children into school into bubbles with other children who are doing whatever they damn well like. This puts those who are protecting the vulnerable or those who were shielding at risk because of those who cba to keep a bit of distance.

@LizaBennett70 do you not know what shielding is for?

It is people who were told to stay home as they are more likely to die.

And the people who are super averse arent dont seem to be the ones who are even at higher risk.

I think it's a really mixed bag, @IndiaMay

My mum is very high risk, in her 70s with a couple of conditions that make her more high risk than others her age and she's very risk averse. A neighbour does all her shopping and she wpes everything down before she puts it away. She hasn't left her home since before lock down and she won't have visitors.

But her brother, in a similar situation, is much like your grandad.

My PiL are pretty fit late 70 year olds and are a bit concerned but have socially distanced visitors and go for walks, to the store occasionally, etc.

A friend who is in her early 40s with no underlying conditions is very risk averse and hardly leaves her home even now, getting all shopping delivered.

I don't think it's easy to generalize.

my mental health is shot with all this. I am not living I am existing and I hate it.I won;t go to pubs,swimming pools and still do my shopping once a week. I feel I am letting my family down terribly but we did manage a day at the coast last week and it was terrible,So busy and I tried my best with my masks and tried to keep out of everyones way but it was impossible,I couldnt wait to get home.I think its getting to the point with me where I might need some help to get me over this.Its bonkers as my husband has worked throughout and that didnt bother me but I have got worse and just want to be home.

Shopping is an essential (at least for food). Other things mentioned by the OP are luxuries. Everyone should be able to shop for food without having to feel anxious.

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe sorry to hear you feel like that. For what it’s worth - I think there are many people who are avoiding the things you mention - so I really don’t think you are letting anyone down. But of course it’s about how you feel, not what you are or are not doing.

I think you're probably right sallycinnamon, I'd have a chat with your GP and see if there's any help you might be able to access.

But if everyone followed the guidelines then no one would need to stay at home

If people aren’t willing to do so then they should be the ones who stay at home while the people who actually have consideration for others get to go and enjoy public spaces

@minicat

This is like saying if you want people to drive safely you should stay off the road.

No it’s more like saying “if you’re a nervous driver, it may be best to avoid the M25 at rush hour”.

@Starbuggy

But if everyone followed the guidelines then no one would need to stay at home

If people aren’t willing to do so then they should be the ones who stay at home while the people who actually have consideration for others get to go and enjoy public spaces

What about the people who aren't capable? Pretty much all of you making this argument leave them out.

@Starbuggy the thing is - in the majority of cases it’s not people being selfish etc. It’s “oops sorry didn’t see you there” or “oh this space is a bit tight isn’t it”. It happens in supermarkets even.
Therefore the reality is - a space such as a pub (with alcohol involved) or a busy crowded space it’s more risky.

But the people who can’t follow the guidance for whatever reason are going to be few and far between. And they are another reason why all of those who can follow it should because then we also help protect those who are unable to

Nah. You’re just saying you want to constantly behave like it’s rush hour because nobody else matters.

@Sirzy

But the people who can’t follow the guidance for whatever reason are going to be few and far between. And they are another reason why all of those who can follow it should because then we also help protect those who are unable to

So you're ok with them going out anyway then? I guess that's something, and you've done more than anyone else who thinks that because their solution is more palatable that makes it workable, so I do give you kudos for that. Can't see how you can have any idea how many people are sufficiently affected by eg dementia, limited cognitive functioning, severe MH issues to be able to say they're few and far between though!

I see where you're coming from but the risk is that we move to a place where people expect to do what they like/scrap social distancing and eventually nowhere is safe, and the high risk groups aren't able to go anywhere. There are plenty of people who would rather the vulnerable never went out and they could go back to normal.

@minicat not sure how many times I have to state that I’ve not been to the majority of places I’ve listed.
I’ve decided it’s too risky and I won’t feel comfortable. I’ve been to a pub once, and a hotel once.

I'm not risk averse or shielding, perfectly healthy in fact. However, I would not go to a theme park or a busy pub. My choice. Just because you "can" doesn't mean you "should". If you are risk averse then don't - just common sense surely.

We're risk averse and haven't gone shopping, eaten inside at a restaurant, gone to theme parks as a result.

However I do think that everyone should be trying to follow the rules. I get that some people think they are excessive, but it isn't just about personal risk.

We are about to send our DC back to school. They will be mixing with the kids of the people who have ignored SD. Their photos hugging non-family members and in big groups are all over my Facebook feed.

We have friends who were shielding, but are now expected to send their DC back to school. The SD rules are there not just to protect the individual following the rules, but also collectively to protect vulnerable people.

@PiataMaiNei why do you keep cakking on about "people who are unable to follow guidance"? This thread is not about people who are unable to follow guidance.

Yes. I haven't been in a shop since March.

[quote CaptainMonkey]@PiataMaiNei why do you keep cakking on about "people who are unable to follow guidance"? This thread is not about people who are unable to follow guidance.[/quote]
Because actually, they're entirely relevant and also you're wrong to say the thread isn't about them. OP certainly didn't exclude them, and has stated she agrees with me.

Perhaps if you want a thread that specifically doesn't include the issue of people who aren't able to follow the guidance, you should start one. Because this isn't it.

Agreed. I am careful to keep my distance in the supermarket, and when walking I hop onto the road or cross to the other side to avoid an older person or anyone wearing a mask (I figure they must be vulnerable to wear one outside walking). At a non essential type place I do give people their space when possible, but I am less careful as I would not expect extremely vulnerable people to be there. A previously shielding relative of mine will meet for a coffee but only outside, has just started having the occasional visitor to their home.

So you’re saying the people who follow the rules should stay home to avoid antagonising those who don’t?

Completely disagree. People should just bloody stick to the rules. 2metres. If not possible then 1 metre with extra precautions. Anyone who doesn’t follow these guidelines is frankly a selfish arsehole and they are the ones who should be staying at home. I bloody despair with the selfish, entiled people in this country. And when it all goes to shit in the winter, they will all be the first to blame the government or others, when its them whi cannot or will not follow simple bloody rules. Absolutely gives me the rage