To want to live with women platonically in a sort of shared house/ estate and raise kids?

[cultkid]

See partners on weekend?

Live with the women otherwise share childcare etc
Always have female companions around to hang out with?

The place would be sooo tidy and smell so good

This kind of commune has long been a dream of mine.

I wouldn’t mind this; great that you’d keep everything tidy and smelling so nice!
But I suspect you are much younger than I am, if you are just at the stage of thinking about children.

Mosuo women in China do this. Its called a walking marriage

Should also note the children are essentially raised by the mother and her relatives, with her brothers acting as father figures. They really don’t have much of a relationship with their father. So kind of sad too.

I mean, I could see the rationale as the men traditionally were away for months (years?) at a time on trading caravans, but in modern times, they really don’t have much of a social role except
to sponge off female relatives.

It actually sounds like hell to me but each to their own

My idea of hell. I can just about cope with living with DH and adult DC! I could never live in a house share, I like my own space too much

Sounds awful - I would rather go into perpetual lockdown

Get why you're suggesting it but how about this? When you're retirement age (male spouses have died) so you're not lonely how about living in a commune of 7 friends? 👭👭👭who will take it in turn to cook dinnercand clean one day a week each so that way you have 6 days of fun per week! Whats not to love?? ❤️❤️❤️

The place would be sooo tidy
So that's my DW and DDs excluded then.

Tidiest house I know is two of my male friends. I'm scared to sit on the sofa!

Sorry but I like male company. I appreciate it may just be the men I know but much more straight forward than most women.

Haha, I think this sometimes. A relaxed, supportive and safe women only community. Bliss!

Yes! Sort of. I kind of wish families lived communally like they used to. Im always at my most relaxed parenting when my mum/sisters are around. It's just "easier" and more enjoyable. And yes to the house being lovely and clean/smelling great!

No thanks, I grew up with sisters.

Not sure why you'd do this if you're happy with your husband, if it's not broke why fix it? My DH would miss our children and be upset at being excluded except for at weekends. I'm sure there are other men who would feel the same. They're not all uninvolved/useless, though aware some are.
Theoretically sounds like it could work for single parents with pooled and cheaper childcare etc. But people could fall out. Even if they're friends - living together can ruin friendships, I've seen it happen.
I've lived in house shares in my.younger years and women can be filthy, so there's no guarantee of tidiness. I like the idea of living with female friends when I am an old lady though, assuming our husbands die before us. I've seen the loneliness very old people go through and it always baffles me why they don't just live with someone else. Being independent and in your own home forever seems to be v. Important to older generation. But I think companionship is more important, and you could pool resources to fund a cleaner/gardener/carers etc.

I think you are idealising how women would behave. There would be some competition, bitchiness, fallings out over the children's squabbles, falling out about disciplining each other's kids. I don't think it would necessarily be idyllic to live communally like this.

Did anyone see the Bruderhof commune documentary on BBC?

I’ve chosen my people to live with if I outlive my DH. We like the same food, same tv and same taste in decor. We reckon a few of us living together as elderly ladies will save us a few quid on carers too 🤣🤣

@Wolfgirrl

Did anyone see the Bruderhof commune documentary on BBC?

Yes, I was intrigued. I like the idea in principal, but not sure I could adopt that way of life myself. I’d like to see a follow up after Hannah comes to the end of her time in London.

@takethegirloutofwales

I’ve chosen my people to live with if I outlive my DH. We like the same food, same tv and same taste in decor. We reckon a few of us living together as elderly ladies will save us a few quid on carers too 🤣🤣

Have you ever seen “The Golden Girls”?

I know three women that lived like this for ten years plus, outwardly it looked like bliss. Eventually it imploded. They had weekly 'family' meetings, they talked rather than argued, they supported each other with external work, relationships etc. But beneath the surface, one woman dominated the unit, she was (is) both super needy and dominating at the same time. One of the women went away for the weekend, but secretly she was having a breakdown from all the pressure and wasn't coming back, she's not even been back to the area since. So that leaves two women plus children, needy woman still expecting life to revolve around her, unmanageable bills, and no agreement on what happens with the house, living arrangements for the future. Needy woman still thinks it's the best idea in the world.

Female communal living is just as likely to go wrong as any other living arrangement, possibly even more so.

I think it's a great idea, big thumbs up from me.