To want to live with women platonically in a sort of shared house/ estate and raise kids?

[cultkid]

See partners on weekend?

Live with the women otherwise share childcare etc
Always have female companions around to hang out with?

The place would be sooo tidy and smell so good

I am very messy and disorganised, hate cleaning and I will do the bare minimum........ clothes are best kept in the floordrobe and I wouldn’t want to live with other kids.

I’d love this!

I've often wondered why more people don't live like this. Instead of loads of single mothers struggling on the poverty line, endlessly worried about childcare, loss of income if DC is sick etc, and worried about manipulative exes. Why don't women get together to share large houses with nice gardens, do cooking, cleaning and laundry on a rota, have a system for shared childcare, babysitting etc. It would make so much more sense.

Oh, it sounds like a great option for single mothers who might choose it as a more convenient/enjoyable way of living - it's just that the OP's scenario seemed to preclude the element of choice and assume from the start that dads would all be useless and/or absolved from any parental responsibility and thus not allowed to live with their children (and vice versa), just because they happen to be male.

No sorry, I suspect I would find it very annoying living with another adult that I didn’t love. Love is what makes us able to put up with other people’s little habits and differences.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll the way i see it, the loving devoted fathers would want to live with their children anyway so this set up wouldn't apply.

What I am talking about is that for 50% of marriages, they are a disaster and don't work out so clearly marriage is not fit for purpose for them. For many divorced families, the father plays a tiny role anyway. Rather than be single mum, this set up sounds a lot better for the women without contributing husbands. I think what makes a lot of women inclined towards marriage with a substandard man is that most women don't want to raise children alone, so seek out a partner who they hope would be an active parent. Sadly, it seems to me that many men are not up to the task.

Or just chose a housetrained man who you actually like to have kids with.

Actually laughing out loud that you think it would be tidier if it was all women!!

Male DP does practically all the cleaning here - bar my laundry and the stack of random crap by my side of the bed. He's laughing too now that I told him about this post.

When I lived overseas I was in a compound with 5 women in 3 houses. It was really nice actually, lots of time sharing meals together, doing exercise videos, film nights, cuppas and a cosy chat etc. But after many years of house sharing now I’m much happier just with my DH & DCs. But I’m an introvert and he does most of the domestic labour (SAHD) so it’s horses for courses really.

I'm pretty tidy, but I would hate feeling like I couldn't leave a cup on the table without someone being pissed off.

Why would it smell so good? What does that refer to?

Can we do a version of this except instead of excluding the men, it's those with children who are excluded?

I find families with children to be far, far, far more obtrusive than men.

I dream of living somewhere where I'm not expected to suck up the noise of the neighbours kids screaming (actually screaming) all day every day because "kids will be kids".

I would also struggle with people parenting my kids who are not their parents. I’m pretty sure it would not be a good environment for my kids at least, too many parent figures.

I would have thought this was a good idea when mine were tiny. But I'd find the differences in child rearing really difficult. I'm quite risk averse when it comes to tech, DH I oversee internet access very tightly. Conversely my 8 year old DD seems to have more real world freedom than most of her peers, who don't seem to be allowed to go to a postbox alone. We are a very routine-y family, with bedtimes, mealtimes no food upstairs, it isn't 'rules' so much as 'what we do' and really suits the personality of my eldest in particular. I'm not sure I could relinquish that control!

At what age would the male and female children be separated?

This was a 'thing' for a while amongst certain elements of the women's movement in the 70s and 80s. I think there are still communes around but they tend to be based on fully shared ownership of everything.

Given the fact that women generally outlive men, friends and I have decided to do this if circumstances allow when we're elderly. Throwing children in the mix would have been too complicated.

I'd much rather live with my DH thanks. DS would miss him, I would miss him.
He shops and cooks for us, he fixes things, he can reach things and carry things that I can't, he organises the garden and any work that needs done on the house or cars.
I definitely wouldn't want to take on that extra work.

Some men are stinky and untidy, some women are stinky and untidy.
I have a female friend who has such bad foot odour you can smell it through her shoes, no way would I want to live with her!

Sounds terrible, but, if people actually wanted to do this, there's nothing stopping them. Just get a group of like-minded people together and buy a cul-de-sac or few on a new build housing estate. The fact that people don't do this suggests that there is no demand.

What about the teenage sons of the women in this scenario?

There are a few cooperative communities like this near me, although I don't think they're women-only. I can see the appeal and the practical benefits, but personally I'm way too asocial to cope with that way of life.

It's not for everyone (as perfectly demonstrated in this thread) but when it works, it's a thing of beauty.

I have lived like that with a friend for 18 months and we were talking about how awesome it would be if there was a small community of women who would just help and support each other, no judgement just a benevolent matriarchal village kind of thing.

It would only be for women who choose to live there and everyone would be friendly and supportive.

And to the poster who said women refuges - no, that's not the idea in the op, and you know it.

Definitely not. I can say whatever I like to DP. I tell him exactly how I feel and if he's annoying me. I doubt I could do that with my friends.
Also, not all women are tidy or clean, and I certainly don't want other people's children living with me.
I would rather live alone, which could be easily arranged.

I've always wanted to be a lesbian.

I can’t imagine anything worse. Having lived through various flat shares with female friends and housemates at uni and in my early twenties I am DELIGHTED to have left that behind for the peace and sanctuary of only sharing with my wonderful husband.

God I would love this! Would suit me down to the ground. Sure you could find a combination between communal spaces and then everyone having private space to withdraw to when needed. I'm sure you could all work to iron out problems, and it would really go a long way to combat a lot of the endemic loneliness we have in society. Plus solve childcare for a lot of people (myself included.)

But then I made a terrible choice for the father of my DD and have little to no support from him, I guess if I had been at all sensible in my choice of partner I might not feel this way!