To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?

[MummaW88]

I’m planning ahead for DD’s 1st birthday. She currently can’t have dairy or egg due to allergies. I’m hoping she outgrows them in time! It’s proving hard to find options for a vegan birthday cake; I’m not good at baking, and any bakeries nearby charge an extortionate amount for what I have in mind. I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes and has offered to make one, however she’s not confident with making a dairy and egg free one. My question, is it awful to have a birthday cake that she can’t eat? To clarify, I will get some little vegan cupcakes that she can have! she’d only be eating a small bit of the birthday cake so I thought cupcakes would be a good compromise. (I admit, the birthday cake would be more for me 😂) is that terrible?

@TheWayOfTheWorld you’re so right. I have clearly misunderstood the purpose of mumsnet thought it was meant to be for mums to support each other!

@BubblyBarbara I’m not even going to justify that with a response (except that one

My child had a dairy allergy and I got a nice one from Tesco that they could eat - a colin the caterpillar type if I remember rightly!

There are 7 pages so this advice is probably redundant (!) but why don’t you make one of those styled watermelon cakes? It’s just fruit but they look fab and then she can have pictures with it and enjoy playing with it and eating it.

On the side, you can have a cake for adults to enjoy made by your friend.

we had the same with my little boy, dairy allergy, and spent ages finding and making a lovely dairy free light and fluffy cake. He just ate the icing, and still now only eats the icing!

Just put some colourful sweets on her piece, she’ll likely only eat that :)

@Feedingthebirds1 ok you think what you like dear. I’ve clearly also thanked others who have given helpful suggestions and alternatives... but ok.

Something like this

Why not pop one of the vegan cupcakes on the top of the cake so it's like the crown of the cake just for her?

Though vegan cakes really aren't that hard, they just come out a little more crumbly than ones with eggs

If people think you are being unreasonable, then it's going to be because they think it's a bit mean, or exclusionary. I mean, what sort of reasons did you think you were going to get/are ok with? Those are literally the only reasons someone would disagree with your suggestion...

No one has made any personal slights against you. You asked if you were unreasonable, people responded. The majority agree with you shrug

@Nameqnameq that’s such a good idea! She loves fruit too so she’d love that. That’s so clever, thank you so much!

mumma betty crockers frosting is also vegan. Sticking a shit load of different berries on top with a bit of edible gold glitter spray will hide sorts of sins

😁

I bought a birthday cake for my eldest from Asda took the faffy bits of the top. Shoved berries on then sprayed with gold glitter. It cost under £15 she thought I’d had it made - didn’t tell her other wise either

@Firefliess

Why not pop one of the vegan cupcakes on the top of the cake so it's like the crown of the cake just for her?

Though vegan cakes really aren't that hard, they just come out a little more crumbly than ones with eggs

Not if you use Apple purée - honestly, the chocolate one I posted earlier is so fluffy and moist, I couldn't believe it the first time I made it 😋

@Babyboomtastic then you clearly haven’t read all of the responses. I’m not arguing with some random stranger over a birthday cake. Think what you like, you clearly have nothing constructive to say unlike some of the other very helpful responses on here.

1st birthday is for the parents. The child doesnt care and wont remember. Have the cake you like

I have exactly the same as my DD has been egg and dairy free since birth. She’s had her own cake each year and we have a normal one which I admit is made easier by the fact our birthdays are very close together so the 2 cakes cover both birthdays.
Sainsbury’s sell oggs mini cupcakes in 3 flavours Which (Although fiddly) can be decorated if you go down that route.
This year I made her a paw patrol one using a vegan cake from Sainsbury’s (Which tastes lovely) and surprisingly Cadbury’s fudge icing which is dairy and egg, free sprinkled with egg/dairy free Digestives and Oreos minus the cream with figures popped on top.

No problem - loads of different styling ideas of it out there too if you google it. They look so delicious too!

A party for a 1 year old is for the grown ups not the child, so you may as well include the cake in that too.

@Firefliess @TheWayOfTheWorld @Byallmeans thank you so much, sorry I know I’m missing responding to all the helpful suggestions! But this is so great and helpful! I’m gonna chat with my friend about some of these ideas

@Byallmeans

Some lovely ideas there :-)

@Rooberoobe OMG that sounds so tasty! I’m going to try that one this weekend... for research purposes

I've not read past page 4. I can see you asking if yabu to give her a different cake and everyone who says yes you're having a go at them. Why ask? This is aibu. People are giving you their opinion which you asked for in your first post. Of course some people are going to think you're being unreasonable. Others have also told you anoutnvegan birthday cakes in asda which your child can also eat along with your guests as another option and you're (as far as I got anyway) seem to be ignoring that.

So to clarify you dont want to be told yabu and you dont want to be told about other options yet posted on this board.

Buy whatever cake. You clearly just want people to say go for it to make yourself feel better. Its cake. Who cares?

@anothernewyear name one person I have “had a go at” for just disagreeing? I have defended myself against rude comments and clearly thanked others for their helpful suggestions.

Aww happy 1st birthday! Mine are teenagers now - when they were one we had special parties which they can't remember but love that they were special. And really it was for me/DH to celebrate making it through a year of parenting!!!

@MummaW88 you should it’s amazing and I usually hate chocolate icing! They do a normal Cadbury’s too which I think is also dairy/egg free. The consistency is much better than making your own butter icing in my opinion.

I put YABU because there are LOADS of vegan cake recipes online. You are just being lazy.

Just google the vegan society website.

Thank you @GetUpAgain

@Rooberoobe I’m not great at making icing, it never comes out well! But I’m definitely going to try that, thank you so much! I love chocolate icing so excited to try this