Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be irritated / concerned about DH's obsession with Ben Shapiro?

104 replies

WakingUp55643 · 25/08/2020 11:21

DH spends a lot of time on an evening watching youtube videos. This used to be on his own computer, with headphones, but now he just puts them on the TV and inflicts it on all of us. Yes I should just tell him to pack it in, but the bigger issue here is the type of people he follows obsessively. His latest mancrush is Ben Shapiro. Last night he even watched a video of him as a child playing the violin, ffs. Amongst the other people he admires are Jordan Peterson, Nigel bloody Farage, Laurence Fox, Ann Widdecombe.........
But because I finally snapped and showed my annoyance at this a couple of weeks ago and asked why he chose to sit in the house watching this stuff rather than play out in the garden with his kids (it's always me who plays with them) apparently it's my fault for not 'inviting' him out to join in. And then if I don't respond to his polite chats about how my day has been etc, it's me who's creating an atmosphere.
Am I really being unreasonable by being annoyed at this????! I'm really REALLY trying to be supportive at the moment as he is having real difficulties with anxiety, but honestly it drains the soul out of me. He suggested he would like to go and visit his mum for the weekend (quite a long drive) and I said he could take the car, then last night he announced that he'd changed his mind. I have never been so disappointed. I need a break from this.

OP posts:
Komacho · 25/08/2020 11:23

I could never live with a little alt right fanboy.

giletrouge · 25/08/2020 11:24

The behaviour is troubling enough, but the list of people even more so. Plus non-engagement with you and children. YADNBU.

Giggorata · 25/08/2020 11:26

Show him the interview with Andrew Neil on YouTube. He really showed himself up there.

MoonBaby1 · 25/08/2020 11:26

I disagree with about 80% of Ben Shapiro’s views but he is incredibly intelligent and very watchable. I kind of see your husbands viewpoint.

also he’s a bit hot Blush

dwiz8 · 25/08/2020 11:26

The second my DH became an alt right follower is the day I'd be out the door tbh

Yanbu

AntsMarching · 25/08/2020 11:27

Get him to watch this clip. It really shows how ridiculous Ben Shapiro is.

Shoxfordian · 25/08/2020 11:28

I wouldn't stay with an alt right misogynist

MrsSpookyM · 25/08/2020 11:31

Ben Shapiro is a ghastly little right wing goblin.

teablanket · 25/08/2020 11:31

I wouldn't let an alt-right waster live with my children, to be honest. I'd be so worried about them being influenced by that nonsense.

ChaChaCha2012 · 25/08/2020 11:31

Does he have any redeeming qualities?

It's no wonder his anxiety is bad listening to the vitriol they spout.

WakingUp55643 · 25/08/2020 11:31

Thanks everyone. I'm always made to feel as if I'm overreacting, but obviously I'm not. The thing is I'm so calm and patient, I just let it go. But on the inside I'm absolutely raging!

OP posts:
Hepcat75 · 25/08/2020 11:31

Ben Shapiro isn't the least bit intelligent. He's an utter twunt. Interestingly, Mara Wilson (Mrs Doubtfire; Matilda) is his cousin and has distanced herself from him. Because he's a twunt.

giletrouge · 25/08/2020 11:32

Why not rage on the outside OP? What are you trying to do or avoid by letting him get away with it?

ramblingsonthego · 25/08/2020 11:33

Your husband is a massive twat. Kick him out and have a much better life.

Ps. I had never heard this Shapiro speak until the video linked above. What an annoying, fast speaking, grating voice this thundercunt has.

peachgreen · 25/08/2020 11:35

I would leave my husband the instant he started showing any interest in the alt right. Yuck.

KarenFitzkaren · 25/08/2020 11:39

Is the problem that he's not playing with his kids or is it the people he follows? What would you prefer him to watch? If you want him to go away for the weekend then it sounds like you have more of a problem with his interest in jordon Peterson etc than his lack of interaction with the kids.

Marshmallow91 · 25/08/2020 11:42

Tell your husband to watch his vitriol in private as you don't want your' kids to be polluted by fascists. And start "inviting" him to do absolutely everything - then he's no fucking excuse.

WakingUp55643 · 25/08/2020 11:43

@MrsSpookyM I love that description! But are you talking about BS or DH?!

@teablanket I know. My 8yo was sitting beside his dad last on the sofa night, playing on a game, but I could still tell he was thinking, "wtf is this shit?!"

@ChaChaCha2012 No.

@giletrouge I don't rage outwardly because of his anxiety... Also maybe because I think I'm being unreasonable... But I'm not, am I!!!!

@ramblingsonthego One day I will take your advice. I really will. In fact, my counsellor said pretty much the same.

OP posts:
Hepcat75 · 25/08/2020 11:44

Peterson is even worse. And a Canadian, to boot! That exploded my naive assumption that Canadians were all slightly diffident, mild-mannered centrists. Those fucking clips where he would say something nonsensical or illogical - usually to a female interviewer - and a hat, sunglasses and cigar would drop into his stupid head like he'd just uttered some mic-dropping, argument-wining 'burn' made me want to kick someone in the shins.

QuieterMass · 25/08/2020 11:50

Just tell him to go back to listening to them via headphones. Nothing wrong with him being interested, but you don't all have to listen to it.

Monkeynuts18 · 25/08/2020 11:51

Agree with others - both the obsessive behaviour and the misogynistic alt-right content are problematic. I couldn’t live with that at all.

I also agree with the PP who said that it’s hardly a surprise he suffers anxiety if he listens to these people. They literally trade on fanning people’s anxiety, it’s their business model.

LittleRed53 · 25/08/2020 11:52

I like hearing Ben Shapiro debate and his commentaries on various things, though I don't agree with him on everything. Same for Jordan Peterson. So I don't see what the issue is with videos of them.

I do understand your frustration with your DH prioritizing Youtube over time with the family though, especially if it means you're parenting alone often because of it. That's not on.

Honestly though I can also understand him feeling annoyed if you have such a negative view of things he's interested in. It's okay to have different opinions, he shouldn't have to hide things he's interested in just because you don't agree with some of the opinions involved.

GabsAlot · 25/08/2020 12:03

you have to invite him to polay with his own kids-ffs thats the problem-tell him to stop wacthing crap all day and engage with his children

i have anxiety if my dh wanted to leave hes entitled to he doesnt hav to stay out of some sort of obligation

ChavvySexPond · 25/08/2020 12:09

Those people listed are dishonest "hatey" whiny, negative and deliberately try to stress out their viewers and work them up so I think inflicting them on children is abuse.

And I could never fancy a man who fell for such manipulative horseshit.

IntermittentParps · 25/08/2020 12:10

apparently it's my fault for not 'inviting' him out to join in.

What a little princess he is. Send him a gilt-trimmed invite with Ben Shapiro's face on it inviting him to step up to parenting or fuck off.