To be irritated / concerned about DH's obsession with Ben Shapiro?

[WakingUp55643]

DH spends a lot of time on an evening watching youtube videos. This used to be on his own computer, with headphones, but now he just puts them on the TV and inflicts it on all of us. Yes I should just tell him to pack it in, but the bigger issue here is the type of people he follows obsessively. His latest mancrush is Ben Shapiro. Last night he even watched a video of him as a child playing the violin, ffs. Amongst the other people he admires are Jordan Peterson, Nigel bloody Farage, Laurence Fox, Ann Widdecombe.........
But because I finally snapped and showed my annoyance at this a couple of weeks ago and asked why he chose to sit in the house watching this stuff rather than play out in the garden with his kids (it's always me who plays with them) apparently it's my fault for not 'inviting' him out to join in. And then if I don't respond to his polite chats about how my day has been etc, it's me who's creating an atmosphere.
Am I really being unreasonable by being annoyed at this????! I'm really REALLY trying to be supportive at the moment as he is having real difficulties with anxiety, but honestly it drains the soul out of me. He suggested he would like to go and visit his mum for the weekend (quite a long drive) and I said he could take the car, then last night he announced that he'd changed his mind. I have never been so disappointed. I need a break from this.

Weakness to obvious manipulation and lies just isn't sexy is it?

Take your turn air playing and pop on Caroline Hirons in full flow or Wayne Goss getting his face on.

Playing the victim, whining and being a crap partner because of all the absorbed misogyny go part in parcel with those kinds of videos. #justsaying.

Do you want a man or a whiny mug who is being trained to be easy prey for every liar going?

"Playing the victim, whining and being a crap partner because of all the absorbed misogyny go part in parcel with those kinds of videos."

Yep and it's only going to get worse. These people are women haters. If he supports them, he shares their views. That's aside from all of the racist etc stuff. Your children will hopefully grow up and feel ashamed of him. His anxiety shouldn't stop you from having this out with him. He is listening to stuff that will further damage his mental health and turn him against you.

Either he starts to work on his issues, or he should be gone.

Almost to a man (or whatever passes for one) these alt-right commentators transparently despise women. I couldn't live with a man who thought they had anything of value to say.

X post!

I personally find men with right-wing ideologies to be the single biggest turnoff.

OP you are being played - he's using his anxiety to control you. Have you got a spare bedroom for him as I personally wouldn't want to share a bed with a misogynist twat.

He does play the victim, @ChavvySexPond and he seems to play on this anxiety thing. I don't want to belittle anxiety or depression in any way, but something which gives me a lot of worry is the fact that my brother has been in hospital for three weeks with a badly broken leg (on top of past injuries - broken neck, scalding, etc) as a result of his severe epilepsy, not knowing if he can go back to his home of 30 years because he can no longer get up and down that stairs, my 81 year old mum is battling with the council to find him a bungalow or suitable sheltered accomodation, worried she might have to have him come and live with her with all the strain his condition causes, that's fucking stress

@TheWernethWife Unfortunately no spare bedroom. I hate sleeping with him, especially recently as he lies awake sighing and moving around - I had zero sleep on thursday night, and in the morning he asked if I had slept ok!! I'll say it again, I don't want him to be suffering anxiety, but he's draining the life out of me. Not to even mention the 9.5 year lack of physical relationship, but that's another matter.

I could not stay married to someone who fanboys over someone who believes abortion should be banned, even in the cases of incest or rape. Fuck that.

I literally disagree with Ben Shapiro about everything however I do still occasionally listen to him because he is at least an oasis of non-wokeness amongst all the dire bland wokey folk

Fox is a drunken foul mouthed pig.

Urgh.

I swear like a trooper btw, but without the red face, slurred words, and I dont think Im 'oh so clever'

Can't stand the man, absolute mess.

Ive seen him on Gogglebox

I'm not familiar with the viewpoints of the other names that were listed, but Shapiro and Peterson are not at all woman-hating/misogynistic, and don't play up anxiety or drama... They're more like the opposite of fear-mongering actually. Also they're not alt right. If anyone thinks they are, I don't see how they could have actually watched any of their content for themselves.

OP, that sounds like a seriously stressful situation you're dealing with Your DH should definitely be compassionate and supportive towards you. I have chronic depression, but that doesn't mean I think my issues trump the stresses or problems my DH deals with. Everyone needs support with different things at different times. And parenting where there are 2 parents in the home should always be a shared responsibility.

Actually I'm a bit surprised your DH is a Jordan Peterson fan, because Peterson is all about encouraging people (especially men) to step up and take responsibility in their lives, and be the best version of themselves they can be. Sounds like your DH could be doing more in that regard, even despite depression or anxiety.

If my DH ever, ever, deliberately sticks Ann Widdecombe on the television, I'd be getting a divorce, and I'm absolutely not joking. What a turn-off.

I'd also worry about exposing your DC to these extreme views and bigotry.

@Hepcat75

Ben Shapiro isn't the least bit intelligent. He's an utter twunt. Interestingly, Mara Wilson (Mrs Doubtfire; Matilda) is his cousin and has distanced herself from him. Because he's a twunt.

I hate Shapiro but Mara Wilson is just as bad on the other side. Screeching for people to be cancelled. Woke nonsense posted for likes.

OP - I'd struggle with this too as it's the opposite of my politics. You could insist on having a neutral news source on for equal time to give him perspective?

I would be annoyed at my husband if he forced me to spend all evening watching stuff on YouTube regardless of what it was to be honest. In the short term, maybe frame this as “I don’t care about politics at all and I don’t want to spend my evening watching politics stuff on YouTube”. If he carries on, I’d take myself elsewhere and start making plans to leave. Good luck, it sounds tough and draining.

Shapiro and Peterson are not at all woman-hating/misogynistic, and don't play up anxiety or drama... They're more like the opposite of fear-mongering actually. Also they're not alt right. If anyone thinks they are, I don't see how they could have actually watched any of their content for themselves.

Hahahahahahahahaha
Good one.

Shapiro believes abortion should be illegal in all cases, even rape and incest. That alone makes him a virulent misogynist.

Peterson also opposes abortion but I don't know his views about whether he opposes it in all cases. Trying to roll back Canada's current abortion laws also makes him a raging misogynist.

HTH

I'm not a huge fan of Wilson either. Just thought their relationship was interesting.

I would honestly be rethinking my marriage if DH started to admire people like Shapiro.

I would think much less of my DH if he watched awful misogynist shite like this. I would question who the hell I married and I sure as hell wouldnt let him expose my dc to it

Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson are alt right misogynists. I wouldn't want my children listening to them. The contempt with which Peterson describes a patient of his who tells him she has been raped is chilling and I struggled to finish his book. (But I did because it is promoted to teenage boys and I have those.

Anyone who thinks these men aren't alt right needs to apply some critical thinking to what they say and perhaps examine their own personal ideological blind spots and pre-loaded assumptions.

geekaMaxima If being pro-life = misogynistic, there are plenty of misogynistic women out there.

But if abortion is your line in the sand, and it doesn't matter how much a person advocates respect for women, they're still a misogynist if their moral compass can't condone abortion, then fair enough (also since, if all men treated all women with respect, there wouldn't be any rape or incest in the first place...) Seems kinda like throwing the baby out with the bath water, though.

I mean - I don't accept that people aren't alt-right just because they say they aren't. Tommy Robinson says he's not racist, ffs. I concede it's a bit harder for Zionist Shapiro to identify with some alt right 'ideology'. But if it looks like a dog, etc etc. Hates Arabs. Hates 'the gays'. Hates Obama. Hates the poor. Hates women who have abortions.

Purposely watching videos of Anne Widdecombe on YouTube. Your husband is a sick man, sorry.

He sounds extremely selfish both towards you and to the children. Plus And 9.5 years and the Alt Right viewing is worrying. Is this a new thing? Its hard to see what he brings to your partnership.
Maybe it would help to see a counsellor (on your own initially to work out exactly how you feel, what choices you have and what you want for the future. Then get him along so a neutral person can mediate and get him to see how this is affecting his family.