Aibu to keep my primary children off school this year?

[Runrunrunrunrunrun]

I feel as though I am the only one considering this. I am a stay at home mom, I have the time to make this work.
Coronavirus isn't going anywhere, I know that, but I just don't feel comfortable sending my children to school. I feel like it would be the easy way, not the safe way. I just can't stop that feeling in my gut, that 'its not safe' feeling.

we were considering home education for this year anyway for a variety of reasons, but now September is almost here I am doubting myself.

I dont know what to do! is anyone else taking their children out of school? are most sending theirs back? how did you decide what to do?

Our family has lost a relative to cv this year and another was hospitalised so I am aware this may have skewed my thinking.

please be kind, I have cried every night for a week about this and every time I look at my children I am imaging them getting really ill. this situation is hitting me hard.

If you want to home school then home school! It's fine as long as you and they are happy to do it. How do the kids feel about the prospect?

Do you work, OP?

If you deregister your DCs will you be able to find school places for them the following year?

I understand your concern. I'm a teacher. (I hate home schooling my DCs though!)

They're so young. Keep them off and enjoy them. You shouldn't base your decision on what others are doing.

If you want to home school and have the means and inclination to do go ahead, though I’m not sure what the situation will be in terms of where you might be allocated a place if you choose to return to mainstream schooling - if your local school is already oversubscribed you may find you have to travel to another school.

As far as the risks to your children go though, in the nicest possible way you need some perspective. 10 children under the age of 19 have died in the UK during the pandemic, and in the vast majority of those cases they already had serious underlying health issues. Of course each and every one of those deaths is a heartbreaking tragedy but the chances of something happening to your children is very very low.

I think choosing to take them out of school and home educate is very different than just choosing to keep them off school. It's not unreasonal at all if that's what's best for you

Be prepared to lose your place and have to find somewhere else. Depending on your area could be significantly less desirable.

No, I think a lot of people are feeling the same. It seems to be that half of us feel that opening schools is not safe, while the other half think this is all a big fuss over nothing and they want everything to go back to normal.

My honest feeling is that the decision to open schools has nothing to do with safety and everything to do with getting people back to work to make money for billionaires.

For myself, I think my kids need to be back in school. But if you think you and your family can cope with keeping them at home then why not consider it.

Honestly. I think your loss and trauma with covid are causing you to over estimate the risk to your children and the likelihood of them being seriously with it is absolutely minuscule. There are much greater risks out there. However school environments are going to be challenging this year and homeschooling is a valid choice at any time so no judgement here. I would just make sure you're clear in your own mind about why you want to home school your children and whether it is really the best thing for them. I'm not sure that doing it for reasons of protecting them from covid is necessarily rational.

It’s always been your right to homeschool OP. Just do it.

How old are they op? How would they feel about not going back?

My understanding of decent home schooling is that it requires networks, seeing other kids. Do you feel this is something you could do in a way you feel safe or would the plan be to primarily stay at home together?

You have to do what's right for you. I know it's hard. I feel sick at the thought bit I know with twin 8 month old babies I couldn't do decent home schooling. I know I'll dunno him at the gate on the first day and cry all the way home. They're is no easy answer

If you take them out you may not get a place back at their current school.
If you want to home school fine, but if it’s been driven by Covid is this your anxiety?
I’m saying this from a point of view of losing a parent to Covid, the remaining parent being extremely vulnerable, and losing a close family friend and seen others in ICU. My children are primary and very early high school, they haven’t been in since March but are going back. I know the risk to them is v v low, but am concerned about them passing it on to vulnerable family members.

If you are serious about homeschooling you need to get involved with other homeschooling families for support as you will go it alone. There will be no help from a school or local authority other than education welfare checking you have a good homeschooling routine in place and are doing the best for your children. This does include socialisation so will you be happy meeting up with other families?
Like others have said if you chose not to send them back you will have to ask to be deregistered from the school in order homeschool and to avoid fines. Once you have done this you need to be aware that should you change your mind that the places may have been taken by others and you may not get back into the same school (depending on popularity and availability of places)
A decision definitely needs a lot of thought.

I understand your concerns, but it’s the social side that needs to be considered as much as the learning. Can you ensure your children will get enough social interaction and won’t miss out if they don’t go back?

OP totally understand and agree with you and your worries. My DS (starting yr 3) will be being homeschooled for at least a year, de-registration email is written and will be sent on Monday (he would be due back the following week so gives just over a week notice). I've desperately held on to hope of them not opening schools and going back to the keyworker provision with home schooling for others as we did before the holidays but it's looking increasingly unlikely. There's loads of FB groups you can join (nationally and locally) to support you

every time I look at my children I am imaging them getting really ill. this situation is hitting me hard.

You have a massive anxiety problem, relative to the actual risks.
If you were considering home-schooling anyway, then make your decision based on the pros and cons of both without reference to coronavirus.

To factor the virus in is to let your anxiety problem affect your decisions for your children.
That's not good parenting.

I think the importance of school is seriously underestimated. being 100 percent honest, your desire to home schol is for you not for them. based on this you should let them go back. being ruled by anxiety is a miserable existence.

As a teacher, I completely understand your concerns and there is very little we can say to reassure parents that the reopening will go well because it’s highly likely it won’t.

just to add s more positive narration, two of my family members are teachers and are looking forward to welcoming the children back and injecting that much needed bit of normality. my younger sisters cant waif to see their friends. its not all doom and gloom

If you’re crying every night I think you probably need to see a doctor to help with anxiety. There have been 5 children under 18 who have died on CV in U.K. and 1 primary school age. All apart from 1 had serious health conditions.

I’d suggest you might not be up to being a home school educator to two children considering you seem to have quite a lot of anxiety and have no training

I just don’t get the worry re sending kids back to school (I have three). They have a greater risk of being hurt or killed on the way to school. And there had been not a single case worldwide of a child infecting a teacher.

Maybe I’m missing something but I cannot comprehend it. And I have an anxiety disorder so I do understand that side of things.

I think you should choose to home school because idealogically it's what you want and think is best for your family, not because of Covid alone.

The chances of your children getting ill with it are miniscule. I get bad health anxiety about my children but even I'm not worried about it.

Really agree with other posters. If you want to home school then fair enough, but lying awake at night worrying about your kids getting seriously ill with Covid is well over into “proper bonkers” territory given the stats and is a sign your anxiety has gone awry. (I would say different if you have shielding/elderly adults in the home or whatever, but that’s not what you said was driving your worry).

OP has valid reasons to be scared for her children and for herself if she catches it.

Wake up people we are in the middle of an emergency a pandemic and you are calling her anxious? Anxiety is normal in these unprecedented times.

Unless you are an infectious disease expert please keep your so called advice and criticism to yourself.

Don’t deregister them OP. I expect a high number of people are thinking the same thing. I know few who have feet on both sides and ready to leave school. They can’t expel you all.

Been Speaking to a infectious disease expert this afternoon who is also a very good friend of ours, and she thinks unless they get track and trace sorted out properly at the very least, numbers are going to skyrocket. She was upset and angry with how the pandemic been handled and she feels very sorry for families who have kids in schools and uni.

PS: I’m sending my kids to school but I will have no prob talking them out if numbers in area start to rise.

But the experts are almost all united in saying that the risks to kids of staying at home are greater than the risks of continued isolation at home. But maybe I should put my tin foil hat on.

I home ed already, and the HE groups I’m in are inundated with new members considering home educating this year. Some like you are anxious about COVID itself; others feel that all the uncertainty and threat of school closures could unsettle their child; others have simply seen their children thrive by learning outside the school environment. So I would certainly say you are not alone! I’d recommend joining some local and national groups online, and starting to build a support network.