Aibu to keep my primary children off school this year?

[Runrunrunrunrunrun]

I feel as though I am the only one considering this. I am a stay at home mom, I have the time to make this work.
Coronavirus isn't going anywhere, I know that, but I just don't feel comfortable sending my children to school. I feel like it would be the easy way, not the safe way. I just can't stop that feeling in my gut, that 'its not safe' feeling.

we were considering home education for this year anyway for a variety of reasons, but now September is almost here I am doubting myself.

I dont know what to do! is anyone else taking their children out of school? are most sending theirs back? how did you decide what to do?

Our family has lost a relative to cv this year and another was hospitalised so I am aware this may have skewed my thinking.

please be kind, I have cried every night for a week about this and every time I look at my children I am imaging them getting really ill. this situation is hitting me hard.

At the end of the day they’re your kids and if you want to home school then go for it. I’d personally sooner chew my own arm off but each to their own. If you’re choosing to keep your dc at home for another year what are you going to do about their social interactions? Surely you can’t be proposing to keep them away from all other children for a whole year? I am gently going to suggest that whatever you decide to do with your children, you need to seek help for your anxiety as it seems your feelings are disproportionate to the reality of the ‘threat’. It’s totally understandable given you’ve lost a relative to cv, however, a couple of years ago I nearly lost my dh to a very common, every day ailment. It’s taught me that sadly there’s no way to keep everyone we love entirely safe.

Home school if you like but it seems unnecessary to do it because of C19 - the risks to children are very very low. Yabu sorry.

if you want to homeschool your children it's your prerogative to do so, but that doesn't mean they won't face the possibility of catching cv through some other channel unless they and you don't ever leave the house again. There is a small risk to catching it anywhere not just at school.

If we were still living in the UK I definitely would be homeschooling.

My children are adult, but had this been the situation when they were young, I would most definitely have home schooled. Good luck with your decision

Lucky you to have that choice. Deregister and home educate - it’s a legitimate path to take even without the Covid situation.

I would consider it if I didn’t have to work

If the OP was considering home schooling and never taking her children outside the garden gate, then there would be a risk to their mental health.

If she is planning to be part of a homeschooling community then that will be fine. However, if the children are desperate to go to school I would factor that into my decision.

Interestingly there was a report out yesterday that the mental health of a number of teenagers improved whilst out of school during lockdown, so not being in school hasn't hit all children the same way.

School will be different than it was before, but schools will be doing everything they can to make it as normal as possible for the children.

Boris etc are making a huge push at the moment to encourage parents to send their children back to school. I have to say if you are in an area with a higher rate of the virus it may be quite disruptive with year groups having to self isolate regularly, and they have hinted tonight that there may be plans for part-time school in those areas if required. So that might be something to consider.

If you do choose to home school, do it because it’s best for THEM, not because you are very unreasonably worried about them catching Covid.
Homeschooling for the sole purpose of relieving your anxiety is extremely damaging and selfish.

Having seen the difference in my primary school child since she returned to school last week I have to say YABU

Catching the virus through other channels if one is home schooling is statistically very low.
Schools are known to be breading areas for bugs.
And while some here are repeating the same old “kids won’t die or get too ill” are thinking that kids live in isolation to their parents or grandparents and not thinking of the consequences of an outbreak at school to the bigger society .

Point is:If the gov did a bloody good job at track and trace and aiming for elimination, then the OP WOULDNT be here wondering whether she home school or not.

Your choice entirely, and you are lucky to have that choice. Deregister them and let someone else have the school place.

I don’t think you’d be choosing home schooling for the right reasons. My neighbour home schools but the kids go to a place for home school kids twice a week where they do drama, sport and just all the social stuff that is so important for their development. If you aren’t providing this you aren’t given them a full education experience. I would seek counselling for your anxiety urgently as your fears aren’t based in reality and seem dominant to the point they are going to effect your children.

No one here can guide you, it has to be your choice. I’ve sent mine back - they’re secondary but I would have done the same in primary. They need to be on school for education as well as happiness and well-bring, I’m apprehensive as I’m vulnerable but we are being really careful and I can’t live in fear.

I say do whatever you like. But be happy with your choice for your own reasons and don’t look to random strangers on the internet to validate your choice, as most of them will think you are unnecessarily anxious.

If thought has gone into the thought of actually thinking home schooling is better for a child/ren then I would say yes it is a great idea

If it is a reaction because of being scared of a virus then no I do not think it would be of benefit to the child/ren and this is what is should be all about, helping the children with their schooling not making a grown up feel better

And there had been not a single case worldwide of a child infecting a teacher.

I’m usually the first to think people are over reacting with concerns about schools but @NoToMisogyny how on earth can you say this with any certainty?!

1 in 23,000 children have been infected by coronavirus since schools reopened in June.
I'd add the link but the only non paywall I can find is DM.

@NoToMisogyny

But the experts are almost all united in saying that the risks to kids of staying at home are greater than the risks of continued isolation at home. But maybe I should put my tin foil hat on.

Presumably OP's concerns are over the potential risks to the adults in the household as much as the children.

The real risks re schools not reopening are to the economy. We now live in a society where many households can't survive on single income. Parents need schools back for the child care. However OP is a SAHM. She doesn't need this.

Home schooling works well for many children. Every child is different and many struggle in a school environment. Upthread someone mentioned the recent study showing children's anxiety decreased during lockdown. It's not surprising. Schools can be awful for some children. The less socially confident, bullying victims, many ASD children.

Many children do well in school but others thrive in less traditional setups like home schooling.

I’m considering it, but not because of Covid.

My dc spike a temp every time they cut a tooth, get a cold, stomach bug, whatever. They’ve been off since March, so no resistance to the usual bugs that go around schools each year.
If I have to keep them off, get a test, minimum 48 hour turnaround, notify school who have to then follow their procedures... do you see where I’m going here? Multiply that by the 29 other kids in their classes. Isolate back and forth. They will be in and out of school like yo-yos.
My ds has kids with siblings in every year group in his class alone. How’s that going to then follow through with having to isolate for every cough?
Once the schools are all back, I lay odds that test turnaround will be longer than 48 hours. Because testing, all over the place.
Add in that all the staff at my dc school have kids in other schools, who will be subject to the same issues, and having to care for them or isolate their families.

I’m not worried at all about Covid, I’m a front line worker and have been throughout this. It will be the disruption that damages my kids. Luckily dh and I can work around each other to keep them home if that’s needed. Dh and I are both educated to postgrad level in a wide range of subjects, they will get better education from us than the half-assed effort they may well be subjected to this year.

So no, op, you aren’t alone.

Being honest about the reality of homeschooling, for most who manage long term it is a rewarding experience for all but I have unfortunately met a few (as I do some music teaching) that fracture the child and parent relationship. My mother would of home schooled in these circumstances and it would of been hell, just the thought makes me shudder.

Yanbu

It’s only a year. My sons teacher is also having a year off even though it’s a bit of a blow for us, I understand. So your kids will be fine.

All those saying the experts are virtually screaming that children are better off in school - well it’s not evidence based for each individual child. The experts are saying that they feel that they are justified pandemic wise in opening up schools - because education is important.

Your child will not suffer long term if you keep their wellbeing and education in mind and provide for them. Many children are home schooled and no one would dare say that they suffer long term damage!

Don’t deregister though, explain first and then decide. I think many parents would be in your place.

As a family we were considering HE anyway, and I was very confident about it but over the last few weeks I have been wondering if it would be best for the kids to go back to school, I'm very on the fence.

surprisingly I am not worried about clubs/ interacting with friends/ family members. It is just the idea of them going to school, which will be different to usual, and socialising with 30 other children (plus adults) for ling periods of time.

there is a really healthy HE community on my doorstep, I know another family who HE and their children are really thriving.
I have contacted a curriculum provider for maths and English- we aren't going to just wing it.

my primary concern is the younger children (6m and 2yrs) disrupting the older 2.

as for the children wanting to go back to school, I have asked them and they can't decide. they want to go back one minute and want to stay home the next. it really isn't a decision for a child to make.

My eldest is a fidgety little runner who thrives out of doors, but my second is a social butterfly who really enjoyed reception.
The original plan was to home educate my eldest and see how second child goes in year one but I dont know what to do for the best!

asking strangers on the internet for their opinions is valid, it is the same as discussing with friends. Different people have different perspectives and that is really helpful when making big decisions.

I feel the same. Mine is at the age of just starting secondary, but at a SEN school, so no change in school or primary/secondary as such. He also will not understand social distancing or be able to do it or wear a mask or stop touching everything and then touching his face and mouth. He's been really ill with mystery bugs before, so I am really worried about it. It seems madness to expect everything to suddenly be fine and think there won't be a big surge in the spread of Covid when everyone is back at school. It's no different to any of the other bugs that spread round schools like wildfire.

Not all kids are the same, OP. Lots of people saying theirs need to be in etc but that's not everyone's experience. Go with what's best for yours.

My son has flourished at home. Great progress and genuinely happy. He's dreading going back. We'll definitely consider off-rolling if things go pear shaped again.