To think specialist schools can't always offer more than mainstream?

[BKCRMP]

My DD is in the naming schools stage of her EHCP. Mine of the specialist schools are particularily appropriate. Not ASD enough for the ASD schools, the SEMH schools not appropriate, doesn't have a learning disability for the generic schools. Wouldn't receive 1-1 within specialist. Would be expected to follow the class within specialist.

Or she can stay in mainstream with her dedicated 1-1 who can entirely differentiate her learning. Can keep her safe. OT and SALT support provided within school. She actually seems to be able to receive the more individualized, adaptive support that she needs within mainstream.

AIBU that specialists can't always provide more and for some children mainstream can actually give them more?

My ds has been Ms although add base was considered.

Infants - useless.

Juniors - fantastic. So much so la wouldn't budge in ehcp which we knew he'd need for secondary.

MS academy - complete shit and actually tried to do the complete opposite of law to prove some point I think. Reapplied personally for ehcp.

MS secondary - amazing. Like poster above k couldn't even tell you what ehcp said () because of da needed it he got it.

Just about to start post 16. I did make them write section F specifically because I can't rely on another setting being so good. But so far they have a good reputation so 🤞

@windyautumn Your post is screaming loudly to me. Thank you for your story I'm in a similar position whereas he is academically gifted but often needs restraint.

[quote Emeraldshamrock]@windyautumn Your post is screaming loudly to me. Thank you for your story I'm in a similar position whereas he is academically gifted but often needs restraint. [/quote]
Ah I'm glad. I needed good news stories too a few years ago.

It took me a long time to reconcile that he needed a SS. MS kept telling me he didn't meet the threshold because he is so smart and if they jut did, x or y or had more money etc things would be better. But things just kept getting worse. Then they reduced the hours, excluded etc. All the fluffy nice things that they said disappeared and we were a problem. He was a problem. It was horrible. He had a year out of school where we looked EVERYWHERE and everyone just kept saying he was too bright for SS. Very frustrating.

His current autism school read the EHCP and got the worst impression of him. Bright with big autistic behaviour problems and it took a few professionals who have been with us for a while to convince them to consider him. They met him and instantly said they could meet needs and they were right. He just needed the right environment.

The mix of ability in his class varies and he is the brightest by far. But other children are better at art, sport and handwriting than him and they all learn off each other. School give him 1:1 tutoring with higher years teachers and he can stay there until 16 and take 8 GCSEs there. We're thinking about how to enrich the academics throughout. The MOST important thing is that he is happy, included, accepted and learns how to be the best, independent, emotionally competent version of himself which this school teaches in spades. He thrives with the small classes, the rules, the rewards and the good relationships with adults. He gets lots of therapy and mental health support. He never dysregulates now and stopped after about 2 weeks there.

He'll do fine in GCSEs despite the lower ability school. He will never succeed in a MS secondary school environment when the time comes and then he'll never get any qualifications at all. It took a long time for us and others to realise that!

I would love life to be easy. Not worrying if this is the day she beats them to the door release buttons to get out of the building. Or what she has done to the staff because she couldn't hold it in. It not taking 5 of us to get her in the car because she held it in all day and exploded before we even got in the car. It's exhausting.

It is. Did you have any luck finding something suitable within the links I posted above?

Have you looked at forest school type settings for her? She may find an outdoorsy tyke setting easier if she finds inside difficult.

@hiredandsqueak Do you mind me asking which LEA? We went against our ex school for discrimination and won but the lack of accountability is shocking!

@BKCRMP MS restrained my son. Blocked him into corners (witnessed when grandparents picked him up). I found specialist quite hard to look around and match up the children there with my son but he really does fit in. And they really understand him. At the end of the day, it’s weighing up which placement helps develop your daughter. Not just academically but also on the communication side (our MS were rubbish, SALT did many many sessions with them and witnessed them just ignored my son and not trying to engage) and peer relationship side. It’s never an easy choice. For my oldest we’re in the very difficult decision of thinking about secondary.

This thread has been so enlightening to read DS starting nursery soon and think we have some challenges coming. Some really positive stories which are lovely to hear thank you.

Derbyshire they are awful ignore the law as a matter of course. A group of some 70 plus parents are fighting back. They hate that we have banded together keep asking us to use SENDIAS or Parent Carer Voice because both are in their pockets.
We go to Tribunal, we win and then we make complaints, force them through the complaints procedure because they try and stall repeatedly and then on to LGO. LGO were struggling before lockdown to assign cases to investigators who hadn't already got or had had cases against DCC because of the numbers we are getting through. LA know it's a sustained campaign they keep asking for meetings to try and quieten us but we are having none of it. Rulings by LGO get noticed by OFSTED and that is our aim we want to expose the unlawful practises.

Yes I've heard they are one of the worst LAs. I've heard some dreadful stories on groups from parents.

@hiredandsqueak something I've learned and I don't think I'll ever understand is that you need to fight for your dc.

My Ds is the youngest of 3 and I always assumed (prior to experience) if a dc needed something in a setting it would magically be provided

The whole system is wrong and I hate that you have to fight for a dc that has no alterier motive, that dc simply can't be in a ms setting

My advise to any parent struggling to get their dc on a safe,secure and appropriate setting will always be to fight for it. Because as a whole if you don't fight, you won't get.

You absolutely have to stamp your feet and make yourself heard. Unfortunately you have to do the research and force hands. It's the most ridiculous system and I hate it: the thing I hate most is it really is just down to money

You are the best advocate for your dc, fight every step.

@Onlyonewayout I remember vividly ms called to say come into school, Ds has kicked off, school couldn't cope. I was there less than five minutes later to see my Ds being held down on the floor by a member of staff.

I ran over, scooped him up and I remember vividly his whole body relaxed as soon as I held him

I was and am still his safe person

Pls don't get into a situation where school doesn't feel safe for your dc. If your dc has the chance of feeling that way in school then that school is not right for your dc

@itsgettingweird I'm just working my way through, today has been chaotic so not fully had a chance to go through the thread until now. Thank you for your time!

Having spoken to her social worker (CHAD) today she's going to call a meeting with all agencies to discuss options. We did discuss whether a smaller mainstream would be appropriate but we don't actually have any which isn't helpful. Our schools are big.

I have heard awful things about Derbyshire on the EHCP Facebook groups too.

I think she feels safe there. I've been called in a couple of times when she's really kicked off but they have all focused on respecting her space and keep ing her safe from a bit of a distance. The one they removed the other children and the other she had already escaped on to the field. Her usual 1-1 Is without doubt a safe person in her mind. They've removed that particular one for next year and she has a new one she hasn't accepted yet. It may be the straw that breaks the camel's back

BK please don't think that was pressure or a demand or that you had to I was just wondering if there was anything more there than la suggested and perhaps gave some alternatives that were a better fit.

I've been called in a couple of times when she's really kicked off but they have all focused on respecting her space and keep ing her safe from a bit of a distance
The problem I'd find here she might be excluded from the other DC.
There was a young girl in DD's class in junior infants at 4, she is still in the school now aged 11.
The other DC wouldn't play with her, I tried explaining to DD over and over that she wasn't bold when distressed.
I've invited her to birthday party's throughout the years.
Her DM said in 7years shes only been at DD's party she is very left out.

@BKCRMP

I think she feels safe there. I've been called in a couple of times when she's really kicked off but they have all focused on respecting her space and keep ing her safe from a bit of a distance. The one they removed the other children and the other she had already escaped on to the field. Her usual 1-1 Is without doubt a safe person in her mind. They've removed that particular one for next year and she has a new one she hasn't accepted yet. It may be the straw that breaks the camel's back

They sound clued up and very good. It's reassuring to know she's safe currently. Takes the pressure off finding a place at speed. It's worse for our kids to flounder from failed placement to failed placement.

@windyautumn I'm glad things are better now it is a tough journey.

@LupinsNotLilys yes it was a shock to me too when I realised that to get what ds needed I was going to have to fight. My oldest three sailed through school. Ds got a SSEN before he started nursery but it was just the start of a whole school life battle. By the time dd came along I was a jaded old hand at taking on the system but our LA get worse year on year and don't fail to surprise me just how low they will sink.
My favourite tactic now is to record everything, give them enough rope to lie and then quote their lies back to them. I'm fast losing count of the number of people who initially swear I must be mistaken and then quickly backtrack and apologise for their lies when I supply them with the recording. I really love how they are happy to collude with schools but then once you have evidence of wrongdoing the LA distance them self at a hundred miles an hour and leave the school taking the flak. The school that LA named and dd never attended got themselves a complaint accepted by OFSTED and an investigation by DfE when LA decided to hang them out to dry when answering to LGO over a complaint I made I consider everyone in firing distance fair game though.

@hiredandsqueak oh completely agree. Only when I told them I was seeking legal advice did additional funding appear. I think it's disgusting

It's so wrong though that parents are crippled by legal bills and independent assessment costs because LA's routinely fail to meet their statutory duty. One of my complaints currently at LGO concerns the legal fees it cost me to force an AR last year. They obviously have taken on board that complaint though as this year's AR is all set to go exactly one year after the one I forced. Glad they have learned their lesson but now I want my legal costs refunded I asked them for the refund they declined so I will push through LGO get my costs and another ruling in the bag for OFSTED.

Unfortunately for many it isn’t a case of special education providing more but the child becomes unable to cope with mainstream and so there isn’t any option. My ASD son was mainstream until he hit secondary by which point the gap between him and his peers was massive. Every single mainstream secondary in the area said they were unable to meet his needs so we reluctantly sent him to special education. He has just left and due to start college soon and honestly he has absolutely flourished. It was absolutely the right decision for him I just didn’t see that at the time.

Which is great if there IS a specialist school anywhere your child can get to that will meet all their needs.

@drspouse yes that's true. My ds and dd both went/go to out of County schools ds south and dd north. We are fortunate that we live near the M1 so it makes a wider catchment area. A good percentage of dd's school travel in from surrounding Counties and at ds's school the majority were out of County as well.

@drspouse very true - my 10yr old with complex needs has no school place as there is literally no suitable school within 45 miles