Son's hair is "cultural appropriation"

[Jourdain11]

So as not to drop feed: my father's family are from North Africa and he had the sort of tightly-curled hair which some North African people have. I have wavy-curly hair and look European. My husband is English and all three of my children have his fair colouring. However, some trick of genetics has meant that my son (5) has inherited the tightly-curled hair gene. He is very blond and usually his hair is cut quite close to his head, but when it grows out a bit, he has these amazing blonde curls standing around his head.

Anyway, I was a bit taken aback when a friend said the other day that we'd better get his hair cut before he starts Y1 because it might offend people! She said it's cultural appropriation for him, a white boy, to be wearing his hair "in an Afro". I said that seemed pretty harsh given that his hair just grows like that and it's part of his genetic make-up. She responded that people seeing him will just see "a white boy with an Afro" and it would be offensive.

Am I being unreasonable to find this ridiculous? My poor DS is going to offend people wherever he goes just because of the way his hair grows? Or am I being completely out of touch and insensitive?!

@PinkSparklyPussyCat I use Aunt Jessies, they were recommended to me as my daughter is biracial (half zimbabwean) and I tried them on mine, and they were amazing. I also used some cantu stuff as well. I generally just spray my hair in the morning and put in some curl cream and it leaves it sitting lovely. Aunt Jessies do a whole range of creams, dentanglers, conditioners etc.

Well am not sure how he can appropriate his own cultural background

His hair sounds lovely ( I love curls !) and your friend is being a bit of a dick

How is it cultural appropriation if it’s his own heritage!? My god that’s ridiculous! You can’t appropriate a culture you belong too 😂

Tell your friend she doesn't know what cultural appropriation means! It doesn't mean a person's NATURAL characteristics . Honestly!

The OP's example is clearly a bit of a stretch, but I draw the line at non-Greeks running marathons, and anyone who isn't at least half-Italian eating pasta. Scumbags.

She sounds like a right nutter!
Your sons hair sounds amazing

I actually find it quite disturbing that this woman said a five year old should change their natural hair so that they fit into what she believes is their correct 'box'.

Wow, what a dick. My DS has tight curly ginger hair. If that offends anyone they get f'd!

I’ve just pressed the wrong voting button! Definitely meant YANBU!

I think her point was that people who don't know him would think it was cultural appropriation and be offended - like random passers-by on the street and things.

Obviously I don't want random passers-by to be offended. But nobody has ever said anything (except "what lovely curls" and "isn't he a little angel?" and things like that - his sisters find it quite sickening!).

@XDownwiththissortofthingX the Italians culturally appropriated pasta from Central Asia. So it's now ok to eat it if at least one parent came from Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan or Turkmenistan.

But not w pesto.

How embarrassing for her. She doesn’t know what cultural appropriation is.

Send her this definition,

cultural appropriation
noun
noun: cultural appropriation; plural noun: cultural appropriations
the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. of one people or society by members of another and typically more dominant people or society.

What an extraordinary comment. It made me laugh anyway. Let your little boy wear his hair however he likes it, and maybe distance yourself a little from this friend!

Accusing a person of African descent of cultural appropriation for ... growing their own hair. 🤔 Such a flamboyant display of thickness. 😂

Just remind her you're part African and call her a racist which she is. Watch her head explode.

@Jourdain11

I think her point was that people who don't know him would think it was cultural appropriation and be offended - like random passers-by on the street and things.

Obviously I don't want random passers-by to be offended. But nobody has ever said anything (except "what lovely curls" and "isn't he a little angel?" and things like that - his sisters find it quite sickening!).

She means blackfishing. She's so thick she doesn't realise that doesn't apply to people who are actually black and just living in their own body.

It's accusing a person from the culture an cultural appropriation? You, well she, from outside of that culture decided by yourself who can and cannot be part of that culture hence you appropriated it😁

It's fine for now but you need to keep in mind when he is in his teens it will be seen as an offensive gesture by some if he continues to wear his hair like that. People will only see a white boy with "black" hair and assume the worst.

His mates won't give a flying fuck. And they will be the ones who count.

What? It’s not cultural appropriation if the person belongs to that culture in anyway- ie his hair is naturally like that. Your friend is a dick.

Blow her mind- www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/07/first-modern-britons-dark-black-skin-cheddar-man-dna-analysis-reveals

Racial constructs we are so familiar with are artificial, skin hue/ hair isn’t the symbol of geographical origins as many believe it to be. I say this as someone with dark features, curly coarse hair and an extended family tree that’s known to be from an area seen to be fair haired for a long way back. It’s not so simple as Americans like to see it, european history is complex. Look at what Rita Ora is facing

I think her point was that people who don't know him would think it was cultural appropriation and be offended

Your friend is insane.

Maybe teach DS the dictionary definition of appropriation, so he can defend himself against idiots if that's a genuine concern.

Reminds me of that angry mob who graffitied a paediatrician's house thinking she was a paedophile, FFS.

As if people would think that, they're more likely to go 'oh wow that boy has really curly hair'.

My white friend (no other race in there at all) has super curly hair. Tiny frizzy ringlets all over - I used to call her poodle head when we were kids! Genetics are genetics.

@LonginesPrime all the boy needs to learn to say is "I am part African" and stare at them to see if they come out with more shit.

It's crazy how genes pass down
I'm porcelain pale, red hair which is very curly. My uncle and cousin have hair which is afro type texture and they're a lot darker, so is my mum
I went tracing back and found out that my great great grandad was black, and born in Barbados
Anyone would look at me and peg me as typical white british, it made me smile a little thinking of the EDL type people who probably have non white british background without knowing. I also use hair care which is meant for Afro hair as it works best on my curls