Son's hair is "cultural appropriation"

[Jourdain11]

So as not to drop feed: my father's family are from North Africa and he had the sort of tightly-curled hair which some North African people have. I have wavy-curly hair and look European. My husband is English and all three of my children have his fair colouring. However, some trick of genetics has meant that my son (5) has inherited the tightly-curled hair gene. He is very blond and usually his hair is cut quite close to his head, but when it grows out a bit, he has these amazing blonde curls standing around his head.

Anyway, I was a bit taken aback when a friend said the other day that we'd better get his hair cut before he starts Y1 because it might offend people! She said it's cultural appropriation for him, a white boy, to be wearing his hair "in an Afro". I said that seemed pretty harsh given that his hair just grows like that and it's part of his genetic make-up. She responded that people seeing him will just see "a white boy with an Afro" and it would be offensive.

Am I being unreasonable to find this ridiculous? My poor DS is going to offend people wherever he goes just because of the way his hair grows? Or am I being completely out of touch and insensitive?!

@contrmary

It's fine for now but you need to keep in mind when he is in his teens it will be seen as an offensive gesture by some if he continues to wear his hair like that. People will only see a white boy with "black" hair and assume the worst.

I don't agree with that view but it's how many will see it.

That's bollocks.

Nobody is going to accuse a kid of that - it's clearly his own hair and the most that would happen is that they'll assume (rightly in this case) that he has a parent or grandparent with Afro hair.

@contrmary

It's fine for now but you need to keep in mind when he is in his teens it will be seen as an offensive gesture by some if he continues to wear his hair like that. People will only see a white boy with "black" hair and assume the worst.

I don't agree with that view but it's how many will see it.

Anyone who sees his natural hair as an “offensive gesture” needs to get a bloody grip.

This is really strange of your friend.

I usually despair at the cultural appropriation threads when people refuse to believe it's a thing but this really isn't a thing!!

Cultural appropriation is like braids or dreads on a white person though isnt it? Or wearing a native American headdress to like a festival or something when you're not a native american. Not growing out naturally curly hair Your friend is confused.

That woman. She sounds like she's jealous of you or your son's hair? Either that or she is an attention seeking, stuck up little cow. And she's the inappropriate one. She sounds racist af too. Ignore her.

How can someone's natural hair be appropriating something? It's his

I mean my kids have mixed afro hair, so I understand the whole cultural appropriation thing. But if afro hair is part of your genetic, North African, heritage then that's it, you're not culturally appropriating anything are you You've not given him an afro style perm.

Tell her to Fuck Off

@IAmMeThisIsI

That woman. She sounds like she's jealous of you or your son's hair? Either that or she is an attention seeking, stuck up little cow. And she's the inappropriate one. She sounds racist af too. Ignore her.

She just sounds thick to me.

It can't be cultural appropriation if it's just his natural hair. What an idiot. A lot of the men in my family have thick, curly hair which if they grew it out would create an impressive jewfro. It's not just black people who have that kind of hair.

Your friend’s a nob.

Your friend is an idiot. It is his natural hair, its not like you're curling it yourself every morning!

Wtf? He can’t help it if he’s got curly hair. This isn’t like dreds or cornrows.

@audweb

It’s not cultural appropriation. Curly hair is curly hair. I am white and have curly hair and use black hair products on my hair because they work best. Your sons genetics are not cultural appropriation. Your friend is incredibly confused.

Sorry to go off on a tangent but what products do you use @audweb? I've got very curly hair but I never seem to be able to get it to look nice rather than frizzy!

I’d also add that plenty of (white) Jewish guys have hair like that. The word ‘Jewfro’ exists for a reason.

Ignore your mad friend.

Your friend is on drugs. Your son can wear his hair however he likes. It’s his hair and very natural due to his genes

My and my siblings hair is as OP describes, tight ringlets and painful to get a comb through. We just call it mad Irish hair. Your friend is an idiot.

Utterly ridiculous, you can’t appropriate a culture that is yours - maybe mention that to her (if you can manage it without calling her a clueless dick, not sure I could!).

I have no idea why your friend would say such rubbish!

Stupid woman. His hair sounds amazing

There's a lot of wokeness now. It's sad.

what absolute rubbish, I know lots of white people with no African heritage that they are aware of with tight curls that stand out if they grow their hair long.
Its not as if you've taken him to have corn rows put in his hair. Some people try oh so hard to spout their right on credentials at every opportunity and just make themselves look very stupid in the process ff's.

I actually feel quite tempted not to cut his hair now, just to make the point

Honestly, to hear her you would have thought I was sending him to Y1 in a native Anerican headdress or a turban or something! The worst part of it is that she definitely thinks she was being helpful and kind...

*American

Lots of white people have tight curly hair, my grandfather is one of them. It's not appropriation, it's just how his hair grows. Your friend is talking out of her arse.

It wouldn't be appropriation if you used curly hair styling techniques like curl creams and gels on it either. It sounds like he has gorgeous hair, make the most of it if that's what he wants.

Like a PP poster I use some black hair care products on my own waves and curls like Cantu curl activator creme and As I Am co-washes. Boucléme is a popular black owned hair care range popular with curly haired men and women from lots of backgrounds - pretty much every Curly Girl Method person I follow on Instagram uses Boucléme and the As I Am and Cantu products are regularly recommended too.