Lovehoney calling open crotch knickers "schoolgirl"?

[Mxflamingnoravera]

Was I BU to submit a review to Lovehoney for the name of this product on their site. (Schoolgirl open back knickers) .
I've called them out on this in their review section.
Just appalling that a site like that which is for adults would use such a term. It's the last time I buy anything from them.

I remember reading that from a psychology standpoint, the schoolgirl thing isn't about actual schoolgirls as an adult woman will be wearing the outfit. It's pretty much that this was the time when men first started experimenting and becoming sexually active etc. It represents a time when their life was simpler.

There will be mid 20s women who still fancy Justin Bieber from his 'Baby' video because they were the same age as him at the time, Robbie Williams was 17 in the "Do What You Like" and "Promises" videos. Justin Timberlake was 17 in the "I Want You Back" N'Sync video.

@LittleGwyneth

People have been acting out school girl fantasies in private for forever - just look at the Colette books from the early 19 hundreds. Those pants have been given that title because they're plaid, which is the traditional fabric of a Catholic school skirt.

Wanting to play that sort of thing in the privacy of your own bedroom is not the first step to founding some sort of pedo ring.

It could be for some. Afaik there's evidence that some child sex abusers quite often start at the milder end of 'normal' porn and escalate as their responses dull.

Having sex with schoolchildren is child sex abuse if they're underage. Simulating participating in child sex abuse isn't harmless fun.

@EvaHoffman

littlegwyneth yes I think we all know that lots of people have been doing this in the privacy of their bedrooms for a long time. I don't think there's anybody on here who doesn't know that it's a thing that some people do.

That are plenty of things that people have done in the privacy of their bedrooms that are just plain wrong though. 'Choosing' to do something in private does not always = aok.

Some people make terrible choices. Some men (and women) have just absorbed from our culture that school girls are 'sexy'. It's so ubiquitous that it seems normal and normal feels like harmless.

It's not harmless though. It really isn't.

How can anything which is confined to the bedroom and takes place between consenting adults be 'wrong'?

Having sex with or making passes at children who are dressed as school girls is, of course, wrong.

Having sex with an adult woman who is dressed a school girl and enjoying the fantasy of a power imbalance is completely different.

This is the same logic as claiming that video games make people commit murders (widely debunked). We are allowed to enjoy things in fantasy which we would not enjoy or even allow in reality.

I hate to call pearl clutching, but I'm seeing a whole lot of it here.

@slashlover

I remember reading that from a psychology standpoint, the schoolgirl thing isn't about actual schoolgirls as an adult woman will be wearing the outfit. It's pretty much that this was the time when men first started experimenting and becoming sexually active etc. It represents a time when their life was simpler.

There will be mid 20s women who still fancy Justin Bieber from his 'Baby' video because they were the same age as him at the time, Robbie Williams was 17 in the "Do What You Like" and "Promises" videos. Justin Timberlake was 17 in the "I Want You Back" N'Sync video.

Probably high time they grow up then.

@ErrolTheDragon What evidence? All the studies I've read have shown that people who are predatory towards children focus their energies exclusively on seeking out those types of porn.

If liking an adult woman in a school skirt is a sign of a sex offender then every man who came of age during the Oops I Did It Again era needs to be put on a register.

Dressing up in actual school uniform (if that’s how you get your kicks) is somewhat different to selling crotchless knickers under the “schoolgirl” banner though.

How any normal person can get aroused by acting out child abuse is beyond me and I would think most people.

Having sex with an adult woman who is dressed a school girl and enjoying the fantasy of a power imbalance is completely different.

Is it? or is that just what people tell themselves?

@Benjispruce2

How any normal person can get aroused by acting out child abuse is beyond me and I would think most people.

Ask your male friends whether any of them would enjoy their partner dressed in a plaid skirt and knee socks. I think you might be a little bit shocked by the results.

I came on to say something like @slashlover . Now, as an adult I find the schoolgirl thing really distasteful however, many men and women will have memories of teenage crushes and first loves that the uniforms evoke, so I don't think it's necessarily fair to say it condones fantasies about adults being intimate with teenagers.

Imagine the potential thread on MN:”My DH wants me to wear tartan schoolgirl crotchless knickers and school uniform in bed.AIBU to think this is weird?” I think we know how that would go.

Can you really not see how wrong having sex with someone pretending to be a child is?

I wouldn't be with anyone who could get aroused at the thought of children (which is exactly what this is). Nor would I ever dress up or act like a child for anyones benefit.

Call it pearl clutching if you like, but fantasizing about children is disgusting.

Don't go to Japan OP!

Whaaaat? Do they really call them that? That's terrible. You WNBU at all!!

@ErrolTheDragon

Having sex with an adult woman who is dressed a school girl and enjoying the fantasy of a power imbalance is completely different.

Is it? or is that just what people tell themselves?

I feel like this is a bit of a pointless discussion but if you're actually interested in learning more about this, I'd recommend doing some reading about consensual BDSM. Enjoying a power exchange during sex is very, very normal.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Can you really not see how wrong having sex with someone pretending to be a child is?

I wouldn't be with anyone who could get aroused at the thought of children (which is exactly what this is). Nor would I ever dress up or act like a child for anyones benefit.

Call it pearl clutching if you like, but fantasizing about children is disgusting.

Why do you assume that women are doing this for someone else's benefit? It's a very common fantasy for a lot of women. It might not be a very convenient truth, but a lot of us have fantasies which aren't terribly politically correct.

It's the same thing as acting out a consensual non-consent fantasy where you've negotiated and agreed to everything beforehand but want to pretend that you're being ravished in the moment. Or imagining that you're being watched by lots of people when you'd never dream of committing indecent exposure.

Power exchanges relating to children is never ok and either is any suggestion of linking childhood with sex.

*neither

Bollocks is it about men harking back to their younger lives.

Girls in school uniform are a target for harassment and more low level stuff that makes them uncomfortable from way too many men.

YANBU. Grim AF.

I have never wanted a partner to dress up as a schoolboy.

Is it really that common...?

Whatever goes on in your head @LittleGwyneth, it’s not acceptable to advertise such a product under that description.

Men like schoolgirls as they are easier to control.

See Rotherham etc.

@LittleGwyneth - maybe in your echo chamber. It's not normal among people I know. I even have a friend who ended his marriage partly over his wife's new found love of BDSM. He couldn't participate and thought it was grim.

How can anything which is confined to the bedroom and takes place between consenting adults be 'wrong'?*

Erm it can be wrong very easily.

Where did the idea come from that every single fantasy has to be acted out? All adults fantasise but adults are also able to have a word with themselves if the fantasy is horrible and then decide not to act it out. Adults make decisions for themselves several times a day like this. You might have the urge to swear at your boss, drink a whole bottle of gin or smack your child but you hold yourself back. What's special about a fetish that you have to act it out? It's not the same as a sexual orientation like being gay. Dressing up as a schoolgirl is not something you're born to need to do. It comes into people's heads because it's part of our culture which sees girls (the younger the better) as sex objects and then if it's in Britney Spears videos or for sale in Ann Summers it looks like good, clean, normal fun. But it's not clean fun.

I don't doubt that many men have this fantasy (some women too). It's not surprising they do, because the sexy schoolgirl is a well known image. But just saying that lots of people want to do it doesn't make it ok.