After being ‘told off’ in front of a group to leave group after

[31133004Taff]

Group activity. I OK’d it with assistant group lead to basically go to the loo. I inadvertently caused a 5 minute delay in the group activity. It’s a social group. When I returned, I was told off by the group lead in front of the whole group.

When told off, I agreed not to do this again. I felt awful.

I’d really like the activity and if I left there is no alternative locally.

How do I get past the humiliation of being told off. WWYD?

Perhaps this group lead is too hard core for me? Perhaps the lead was acting in response to complaints from the group?

@Moranne

What was the point if your twatty comment?

That looks like an actual typo to me.

🤣🤣

iPhone is going to be rehomed if it doesn't behave itself!

I have Aspergers, my brain catches on illogical or wrong things and I find it difficult to let them go. Perhaps that comes across as twatty to you?

I'm sorry you have aspergers🌷 A lot of people on MN do. It's been quite hard work teaching my young cousin to understand that it doesn't give him a free pass to correct others. It's a difficult thing to learn, but we feel it's an important life skill.

@31133004Taff

Good morning MNetters.

An update. I did message the lead to say I was dumbfounded at her reaction yesterday about my taking a comfort break. I did point out the fact I had OK’d it with the assistant lead.

Bottom line - it was proving to be a difficult session for the lead for reasons I could not have been aware of. It sounded like a couple of people in the group were flexing their influence and giving her a hard time. I think I just proved a perfect opportunity for her to re-establish her leadership (power). Seems like I was a fall guy/ scapegoat in a little coup d’tat - playground politics.

Did she have the decency to apologise?

Personally I'd rather walk by myself, so many places to explore and not be frog marched around by a 'leader' with control issues!

Take the piss next time - in a nice way of course; that might just get the message across. I'm sure your colleagues thought she was rude too. What an arsehole.

I find it hard to imagine an adult social activity where someone tells another off for going to the toilet. I would have just laughed, if I were you.

When you say 'basically go to the loo' ... Do you really mean 'basically go for a quick smoke/vape'?

I can't see anyone being snarky about going to the toilet but yes, I'd be snarky if I and a group were kept waiting 5 minutes while someone else went for a fag ...

Also ... stop being coy and tell us what the activity is!

@burritofan

Was it a pissing contest?

Haha, love this!

I think the least they can do is supply everyone with a commode. Afterall the ancient Greeks and Romans conducted business from a communal toilet.

Bloody he'll, walking, I thought it may be rocket launching and you had a window to get - bloody walking ffs 🙄
Even if the leader felt they needed to get some leadership back, she should have targeted the dick heads members causing the problem,
Not use you and possible toilet problems/issues (people have them and can be quite upset by them) - she owes you an apology and needs to woman-up a bit with difficult members

To all the arseholes who have caused me to have the 'Flash' theme stuck in my head.....

.... You just lost The Game.

You should have said there and then that the assistant group lead said it was fine. It's too late now to say anything I think.

@Moranne: someone else coming from parent ego methinks. P is next to O and L is next to K the rest of the word is exactly the same. Of course it's a typo!

OP, was the group leader@Moranne?😉

Pfft, getting told off because you went to the toilet, how bloody ludicrous, I’d be glad to leave them to their pathetic small minded group

YANBU.

I hope she apologised but make it clear that if it happens again you're leaving as you won't be spoken to like a naughty child.

Next time, tell some of the other people and see how many toilet stops you can all fit in between you.

Winner gets bought a drink by the others.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I would have said straight out "well I okayed* it with the group lead and I didn't think you'd appreciate a puddle on the floor " .
Very rude. Some people need to get a life .
As in, people have no people skills and you don't need to be treated like this.

What the heck was the leaders issue? What would they have preferred? That you left a trail of pee, Hansel and Gretel style with their breadcrumbs? Maybe they would prefer that in case anyone wanted to find their way back. Or are they upset that they missed out on a group catch up while you peed behind a bush??? Talk about power gone to their head!!

Just read the last comments , I think there is a way to say things ....and a way of not saying them....lol...I'm sorry she was rude to you....maybe make it clear that you will leave if you are spoken to like that when there was no cause for her behaviour, though you appreciate that she was having a hard time, she didn't need to give you one as you didn't deserve it xxx good luck xxx

I'm not sure what motivation you have to stay in the group but I would never even consider staying in a group where they treat adults as children.

Yes - very unprofessional to tell someone off in front of others. Not sure I'd like to walk very far with this person!

Have loved this thread, thank you for giving me a laugh 😂. Sorry that you were given a tell off OP, would definitely get a dog to go walking with

I don't think a full blown telling of was appropriate. Holding up a class is pretty rude though. I'm getting you were late and are maybe late more than once a term too so arriving late then holding everyone up is pretty rubbish behaviour.

*telling
stupid phone

You lot are hilarious! I needed some good giggles today....
The top award goes to ZOMBIES!!! You are quite the comedy writer🤣🤣🤣
BOOMER, BLOG, and PUMPER all came in at a very close second!
Thanks for the laughs... OP, maybe you could join some of the activities listed by these comedic mnetters for a bit more fun

This is a great thread!! OP you gave my full support to give the leader what for next time the opportunity arises. Mutiny in the ranks and all that. Very rude of the group leader & totally uncalled for, group politics or not.

This thread has dredged up a memory of a comedy I'd forgotten about, The Great Outdoors. Anyone else remember it? This would definitely have made the script