My one year caught a cold or something in nursery

[Alison421e]

Doing a settling in for my one year old last week and supposed to do next week too. I’m back to work very soon. Monday and Tuesday of last week were fab but on Wednesday another child came in for settling too and was visibly ill. This child was sneezing and coughing with thick green mucus coming out of nose which mum was constantly cleaning. This child took an interest in my little one and sneezed over him a couple of times, came very close to me and tried sitting on my lap which I obviously let happen as what else do you do! Mother was just sitting there not intervening. I could see snot dripping down it’s face. I asked mum if child okay and she replied “yes just teething”. This child also kept taking my little ones bottle and drank from it.

I’ve got 3 kids and it was obviously not teething it was a full blown cold! Woken up yesterday and both me and little one are ill. I’m fuming. I don’t know what if anything I should do like should I speak to nursery? Just for context I’m very quiet and reserved and not quick to anger so completely out of character for me. I’m annoyed now as I am going back to work and have no one to help settle my LO. Mil will have other 2 kids and DH working, I have no idea what to do.

LO seems a little better now. No cough just occasionally and less runny nose. What shall I do? Still take him in like this mother did as I have no option or speak to nursery but then I can’t take him in obviously as manager will say not too, but they obviously said nothing to this mother as she was in for rest of week.

Any advice? I’ve also seen no hand washing at all going on. Kids given snacks without washing hands. My eldest 2 never went nursery just straight to reception school. Any advice please?

If we stay in bed all day today I’m hoping we’ll be better. I’ve had de-humidifier running all night with vapour oil. I’m so bloody annoyed we were all so careful all these months not going anywhere. It’s a new job too so they not going to understand.

Why did you watch and let the child drink from your kids cup?! In this climate I wouldn't have let them sit on my lap either. Not in a mean way, I'd just suddenly need to stand up. I'd probably move my child away and say sorry to the mum but I don't want my kid to catch a cold at the mo. Easier said than done I know but I think you're partially responsible.

Caveat - I know it's normal for bugs to be shared at nursery but we are still in the middle of a pandemic.

DD's nursery won't allow any child with cold symptoms into the setting unless a negative Covid test result is provided. They have also advised that where any of the 3 main symptoms are present, if a test result is not provided then the whole "bubble" in the setting has to isolate. Given that small children struggle to maintain SD it meant the whole setting would have closed had we not been able to get a test done (for what was clearly a cold but we appreciate we had to do our bit!) This has been confirmed by the local authority as I questioned this as being overkill as we head into winter where kids are permanently ill. Unfortunately this is going to be the way of life over the coming months, the issue will be that whilst it's easy and quick to get a test now, once cold season gets into full swing it'll take longer and longer to be tested and subsequently get results. This will sadly have a negative impact on jobs going forward. Employers will lose patience and tolerance and if your whole family has to isolate at the first sign of a winter bug and keep on doing so they will eventually say that enough is enough

It’s understandable to be annoyed that your baby caught a cold from another child before they’ve even started nursery properly. However, in my experience, your baby is going to catch bloody everything going for a while, most of it not serious at all. You will get used to it and so will they.

Steel yourself OP. It’s going to be a looooong term. With many colds coming your way.

Sorry but can I just remind people, we aren't back before a pandemic hit. Times have changed. In fact, it's the type of complacency and "it's a cold" that have allowed this virus to spread up and down the country, and worldwide.
First it was "oh it's just a flu". Even our government ignored it. Now tens of thousands of people are dead.

The fact is, a toddler can't tell you symptoms as they don't know what that is. Unless you hear the symptom then you have no idea. And not everyone gets the same set of symptoms.
I've had Covid 19. It's a bastard. I had the fizzy burning skin before it was recognised. Likewise, my family had it one after the other, DP was barely ill bar a heavy cough, DD had a sore throat but that was it, DS had already had his strong meds as he has underlying health issues and so barely got it in the end (in fact, it's his meds that are given now as a combative measure).

So saying the germy kid clearly didn't have it due to snotty nose, well that's just plain bull.

And we are indeed told if we present with any I'll symptoms, stay home, stay isolated for 7 days, household stays isolated for 14 days, get a test.

We are finding new ways this hits almost weekly. So what is an accepted symptom set this week may be added to next.

Also, as for the sexism argument with her DH- many workers are looking at redundancy, there is very few industries not hit badly by this. Bunking off with a sick child is going to raise a red flag and put him inline for the chop if that becomes necessary. All employees right now are desperate to stay under the radar and keep their record blemish free. That's why so many are concerned that people will attend even with Covid symptoms so as not to get sacked. We are facing the biggest job crisis of a generation. If he is the main breadwinner they would be foolish to put his wage at risk.

Stop acting like it's still pre-pandemic. Our entire ways of living have been eroded and we don't know how long for. It's not beyond understanding why this negligent parent needs to be taken to task about good hygiene and common courtesy.

You did the right thing booking a test.
You only need to isolate until the result comes back and it's negative (which it likely will be).
Like I said myself and my toddler took a test 5pm Friday for cold symptoms but he had a temp, knew the results last night. You should know on Monday, Tuesday at latest.
If you don't think the Mum should have brought her snotty child in you definitely shouldn't send yours with the same symptoms and an outstanding Covid test.
My nursery is happy to take DC back next week as test negative (and he actually has no symptoms of a cold anymore).
I understand the stress of starting employment with this situation, but Corona is in your side here. Get in touch with work asap and just say someone in the house spiked a temp on x day so you are awaiting your Covid results. I imagine they will understand and it will likely only be a day missed and then this will all be in the past.
So many working people/employers will be dealing with this. You can't help it's on your first day but it's just what's required of us in this current situation. I don't think anyone will blame you.

@LadyofTheManners

Sorry but can I just remind people, we aren't back before a pandemic hit. Times have changed. In fact, it's the type of complacency and "it's a cold" that have allowed this virus to spread up and down the country, and worldwide. First it was "oh it's just a flu". Even our government ignored it. Now tens of thousands of people are dead.

The fact is, a toddler can't tell you symptoms as they don't know what that is. Unless you hear the symptom then you have no idea. And not everyone gets the same set of symptoms.
I've had Covid 19. It's a bastard. I had the fizzy burning skin before it was recognised. Likewise, my family had it one after the other, DP was barely ill bar a heavy cough, DD had a sore throat but that was it, DS had already had his strong meds as he has underlying health issues and so barely got it in the end (in fact, it's his meds that are given now as a combative measure).

So saying the germy kid clearly didn't have it due to snotty nose, well that's just plain bull.

And we are indeed told if we present with any I'll symptoms, stay home, stay isolated for 7 days, household stays isolated for 14 days, get a test.

We are finding new ways this hits almost weekly. So what is an accepted symptom set this week may be added to next.

Also, as for the sexism argument with her DH- many workers are looking at redundancy, there is very few industries not hit badly by this. Bunking off with a sick child is going to raise a red flag and put him inline for the chop if that becomes necessary. All employees right now are desperate to stay under the radar and keep their record blemish free. That's why so many are concerned that people will attend even with Covid symptoms so as not to get sacked. We are facing the biggest job crisis of a generation. If he is the main breadwinner they would be foolish to put his wage at risk.

Stop acting like it's still pre-pandemic. Our entire ways of living have been eroded and we don't know how long for. It's not beyond understanding why this negligent parent needs to be taken to task about good hygiene and common courtesy.

I agree with everything you say, aside from the sexism argument- the OP’s husband doesn’t hire women with young children, how you don’t see that as sexist is beyond me. He definitely sees his own child as not his problem.

Also, the OP is due to start her first job in five years really soon. If she phones in with childcare issues in the first week she may as well quit completely. Her husband taking a couple of days off (during a pandemic) to deal with his own child is the solution. That or the Op gives up her new job before she even starts it.

Bunking off with a sick child

No, that's taking parental responsibilities seriously. Bunking off is something else.

OP could forego/lose her job because of always being the one left to pick up the childcare, then her DH is made redundant anyway and neither has a job.

It sounds like the DH works in a very sexist environment where women are expected to do all the childcare, but it doesn't make it acceptable.

@Alison421e

No temperature checks at door. DH can’t take time off as his job pays the mortgage and bills. I haven’t worked for 5 years so he’s done amazing job supporting us all. I can’t expect him to take time off and not get any income as he’s a contractor so if he doesn’t go in we don’t get money coming in. I won’t be getting my first wage till October 15th so it makes no sense him giving up paid jobs. We’ll be in a far worse situation if he did this

Seriously, have DH take point on this. DS is as much his responsibility as yours.

Yes, his job earns more so ordinarily I would understand why you don't want to lose money by him turning down jobs... but for the next month or two at the minimum your job has to take priority because you're seeking to make a good first impression.

You've been out of work for 5 years to care of the kids - he can take 1 week of leave to deal with this.

Frankly, you don't want to create an environment where his job is sacrosanct and yours is expected to take the hit every.single.time. Are you doing both drop-offs and pick-ups? Will you be the one to leave work every time one of the children is ill and needs to be collected (and your baby will be ill repeatedly this winter because starting nursery does that)? You need to get out of the mindset that all of this is your sole responsibility and instead share it with DH. You'll both be working (FT?). He needs to start taking on half the childcare (and housework).

Two different issues here

• your dc will catch many many colds whilst at nursery. I dint think there is a lot you can do about that.
• if your dc shows any sign of Covid, incl fever, then take yourself and your child to be tested. If the test is negative and your dc is well in themselves, but with a runny nose, take them back to nursery (with the result of the test).

I would also ask the nursery about their procedure re a child with a cold too. You might want to know exactly what it is for the winter as children will get more and more colds. As they do every winter.

Symptoms of Covid 19 from the NHS website:

a high temperature – this means you feel hot to touch on your chest or back (you do not need to measure your temperature)

a new, continuous cough – this means coughing a lot for more than an hour, or 3 or more coughing episodes in 24 hours (if you usually have a cough, it may be worse than usual)

a loss or change to your sense of smell or taste – this means you've noticed you cannot smell or taste anything, or things smell or taste different to normal

Nothing here about red faces, snotty noses or sneezing. Or even a one off cough. Lots of armchair doctors on MN this morning though. I'm sure you all know better than the NHS though.

Their procedures seem pretty crap to be honest anyway, I would find a nursery that can actually adhere to at least some of the guidance. It's obvious little children cannot socially distance, but adults shouldn't be mixing with other children, and they should be mindful of colds at the moment. Children at nursery get ill a lot though, in 'normal' times no way you can keep them off every time they have the sniffles, no one would ever be in. Do they have a policy re: seeing a negative test before letting a child in with a cold? No way is green mucus teething, doesn't sound like covid either to be fair.

I'm sure you all know better than the NHS though

To be fair, the gov and the NHS are pretty far behind research from the rest of the world and declaring additional symptoms as ones to look out for, so actually it's not that inconceivable that many people know more than the official NHS guidance which lags behind everywhere else.

@Alison421e

Thank you everyone can you please help me now with deciding:

1. send my LO in Monday to complete settling in
2. wait until Covid result is back - this will delay settling and means I will have to ask for time off in a brand new job. I’ve been sahm for 5 years so not a good start!
3. anything else I haven’t thought of

Final thoughts on speaking to nursery or not? Thanks

1. wait for the Covid results back before you take him in.
2. get you husband to take time off so you can start your job on time.
3. talk to you husband and explain that he will need to become involved when the children are sick.
4. talk to the nursery.

Our nursery does temperature checks on the door everyday before they let the children in, did yours not do this?

They not really meant too. The reason behind this is the concern that parents will dose them up with calpol before they come in and nursery won’t the able to tell.

Nothing here about red faces, snotty noses or sneezing. Or even a one off cough. Lots of armchair doctors on MN this morning though. I'm sure you all know better than the NHS though.

It’s the school/nursery policy - lots of schools are turning kids away until they have negative test results. It’s stupid and unsustainable but that’s because it’s a new situation in a pandemic. NHS24 are recommending kids get tested to appease the schools. I’m sure you know better though, and we’re all just neurotic, weeping women who are just desperate to swab our very little kid’s tonsils and isolate for a couple of days (taking time off work) until the test results are in for a bog standard cold.

They not really meant too. The reason behind this is the concern that parents will dose them up with calpol before they come in and nursery won’t the able to tell

Any link to back this up?

'To be fair, the gov and the NHS are pretty far behind research from the rest of the world and declaring additional symptoms as ones to look out for, so actually it's not that inconceivable that many people know more than the official NHS guidance which lags behind everywhere else'

Which countries are advising a test on the basis of a 'sneeze' or a 'snotty nose'? Out of interest.

The reason the NHS says only if one of the three main symptoms is not because there aren't any other symptoms, but because international statistics show that symptomatic people will present with one of the main 3 symptoms over 90 odd % of the time. Yes they may have other symptoms alongside them but all the other symptoms are much more rare and many are associated with another diagnosis.

So it isn't the 'NHS being behind'.

@premiumshoes

They not really meant too. The reason behind this is the concern that parents will dose them up with calpol before they come in and nursery won’t the able to tell

Any link to back this up?

No sorry, it was given as the reason in my covid training when I questioned why no temp checks at work for the children. I was keen to check them to give my nursery one more layer of protection. But the advice was that it was believed that parents would give their children calpol to mask the temp.
Which I have to say does happen all the time so I sort of understand. So to try and work around this parents are asked each morning if their child has had a temp or any medication since the last time I asked.

You can look in the early years guidance where it says no temp checks are needed though.

@StepAwayFromGoogle

Symptoms of Covid 19 from the NHS website:

a high temperature – this means you feel hot to touch on your chest or back (you do not need to measure your temperature)

a new, continuous cough – this means coughing a lot for more than an hour, or 3 or more coughing episodes in 24 hours (if you usually have a cough, it may be worse than usual)

a loss or change to your sense of smell or taste – this means you've noticed you cannot smell or taste anything, or things smell or taste different to normal

Nothing here about red faces, snotty noses or sneezing. Or even a one off cough. Lots of armchair doctors on MN this morning though. I'm sure you all know better than the NHS though.

With respect, I've had Covid 19.

When I had it, there was no mention of loss of smell. There was no mention of your skin feeling like it was buzzing or hot. It was continuous cough and temp.

Yet here we are, we now know the skin thing is a sign. So is fatigue. And aching bones. And the smell and taste thing. As is covid toe.
And Children present very differently, hence the concern now that they can end up with type 1 diabetes. Or the Kawasaki version- where does it say on the NHS golden list of symptoms which mean sarcastic people like you can be rude and dismissive of others that you should be concerned of your child developed a rash or difficulty swallowing? Both symptoms of Kawasaki Covid 19 variant.

Sorry but despite the clapping, they do get it wrong. Hence we are only just being made to wear masks in public places about 8 months too late.
It's why areas are marked as "concern" before being upgraded to "intervention and support" and finally, sometimes weeks later "lockdown". Why not do lockdown as soon as they are a concern? Yet again we are a country with government and health services which lock the stable once the horse has bolted.
As I said, complacency has allowed this to spread.

But nursery is a germ fest - the next 6 months is going to be full of all sorts of bugs etc until your child builds up an immunity been there done that
And this year is going to be even worse than normal because of covid and having the worry of getting a test every time your child gets a temperature. I understand your anxiety, but you are going to have to find ways to deal with it as this is going to be going on all winter. Children will be sent to nursery with colds and your child will catch them. Children do sneeze on each other, lick each other, mouth toys then pass them straight to their friend who also mouths them. How ever good the staff are, they can not stop this happening all of the time. (I had a sneeze right in my face from a 2 year old first week back, no amount of cleaning in the setting will Completely prevent The spread of germs).

I do wonder if you have made the right choice with your childcare setting though, maybe a smaller setting, with less children would suit you better? Maybe a childminder or if you can afford it, a nanny?

Lots of settings have stopped parents coming in to the setting at all due to current government guidance. But hand washing is a real basic, so I’m surprised you didn’t see any of that in the 2 hours you were there, especially if you were there for snack time. Did they ask you to wash your hands as you entered the setting?

When I had it, there was no mention of loss of smell. There was no mention of your skin feeling like it was buzzing or hot. It was continuous cough and temp.

And we've lived with it for 6 months now and there's no indication that a runny nose is a symptom.

Whereas a runny nose is a very long standing and recognisable symptom of a toddler with a cold, a very common phenomenon in nurseries across the world.

Major symptom I should say

@StepAwayFromGoogle

Symptoms of Covid 19 from the NHS website:

a high temperature – this means you feel hot to touch on your chest or back (you do not need to measure your temperature)

a new, continuous cough – this means coughing a lot for more than an hour, or 3 or more coughing episodes in 24 hours (if you usually have a cough, it may be worse than usual)

a loss or change to your sense of smell or taste – this means you've noticed you cannot smell or taste anything, or things smell or taste different to normal

Nothing here about red faces, snotty noses or sneezing. Or even a one off cough. Lots of armchair doctors on MN this morning though. I'm sure you all know better than the NHS though.

In my case it was our GP who referred us for a Covid test - my DD had a cold with a very chesty cough (a productive cough, not a "Covid cough") and as she had had chest infections before I wanted her checked incase she needed antibiotics. It was them that said Covid can present as a cold in children and she would need a test. The first test was incomplete (turns out 3 year olds don't take kindly to having a swab shoved up their nose!) and we were advised just to self isolate for 2 weeks. It wasn't til we advised the nursery that we were told of the policy that would lead to the nursery having to close if we didn't provide a negative test result. Unfortunately there appears to be a huge disparity between NHS trusts and local authorities as to how the situation is being handled - it's not a case of armchair medics, it's conflicting information and advice being published by this authorities that we expect to know what to do!

Which countries are advising a test on the basis of a 'sneeze' or a 'snotty nose'? Out of interest

Out of just the countries that have kept it under control Australia and Germany, even America although they are a shitshow. I'm not saying every snotty nose is it, of course not, but perhaps parents being a bit mindful. Snotty nosed A passes his cold onto someone else, they get a cough as well and then their family has to isolate. Covid or not, at the moment running the risk of passing something on affects others. The mother was probably semi aware as she passed it off as teething (yeah sure).