My one year caught a cold or something in nursery

[Alison421e]

Doing a settling in for my one year old last week and supposed to do next week too. I’m back to work very soon. Monday and Tuesday of last week were fab but on Wednesday another child came in for settling too and was visibly ill. This child was sneezing and coughing with thick green mucus coming out of nose which mum was constantly cleaning. This child took an interest in my little one and sneezed over him a couple of times, came very close to me and tried sitting on my lap which I obviously let happen as what else do you do! Mother was just sitting there not intervening. I could see snot dripping down it’s face. I asked mum if child okay and she replied “yes just teething”. This child also kept taking my little ones bottle and drank from it.

I’ve got 3 kids and it was obviously not teething it was a full blown cold! Woken up yesterday and both me and little one are ill. I’m fuming. I don’t know what if anything I should do like should I speak to nursery? Just for context I’m very quiet and reserved and not quick to anger so completely out of character for me. I’m annoyed now as I am going back to work and have no one to help settle my LO. Mil will have other 2 kids and DH working, I have no idea what to do.

LO seems a little better now. No cough just occasionally and less runny nose. What shall I do? Still take him in like this mother did as I have no option or speak to nursery but then I can’t take him in obviously as manager will say not too, but they obviously said nothing to this mother as she was in for rest of week.

Any advice? I’ve also seen no hand washing at all going on. Kids given snacks without washing hands. My eldest 2 never went nursery just straight to reception school. Any advice please?

If we stay in bed all day today I’m hoping we’ll be better. I’ve had de-humidifier running all night with vapour oil. I’m so bloody annoyed we were all so careful all these months not going anywhere. It’s a new job too so they not going to understand.

It’s the temperature that would worry me. Nursery should be picking up on this, I know DS’s school are. It’s not the virus itself that worries me so much as ending up with a cluster of cases which results in loads of people quarantining and schools etc closed. So personally I would mention to nursery that I was concerned they had a child with a cough and temperature but did nothing.

@LadyofTheManners is spot on.

Honestly, OP, they can't send every child with a cold home. You aren't a doctor, you didn't take the child's temperature, so you have no idea if they had a fever. I presume the nursery did take a temperature as that would be in line with government guidelines. Are you seriously suggesting that any child who has a runny nose, coughs once, sneezes once, has a red face, needs to be sent home?

I’d get a covid test done. Results are turned around quickly atm. 12/24 hrs. (I’ve done one test on my one year old so far). I’d expect any nursery/school to be requiring child with respiratory symptoms to have a negative test result before they return to setting. Parents/caregivers shouldnt be guessing that it’s just a cold. (Most will be a cold of course especially at the moment)

Good luck!

Runny nose is on the NHS symptom capture of track and trace. Its a Covid-19 symptom. Yes, its probably a cold but please don't dismiss running noses as not being Covid-19.

Are you seriously suggesting that any child who has a runny nose, coughs once, sneezes once, has a red face, needs to be sent home?

Yes, they need to be tested and go back when their results are clear. 99% might be cold but the 1% that is covid and isn't picked up turns the nursery into a cluster and then it closes.

Nurseries are basically Petri dishes of snot and germs. DD is eighteen months old and has a new cold every other week - the sort with the sneezing and the thick, green snot. I send her in if she doesn't have a temperature or a cough because, to be honest, if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to work. I'd just be spending all my time at home with a toddler who's basically okay with a manky runny nose.

I did keep her home when she had a D&V bug, and I also kept her home when she was just very subdued and tired because I knew she wasn't well enough to go in, but otherwise, she'll go quite happily.

It's really tough, especially now, with the CV concerns, but the chances are that the snotbox who sat in your lap just had a disgusting cold - it'll just be the first of many for your LO, I'm afraid!

OP, if coronavirus wasn't around I would say you're overreacting but it is and your child is starting at nursery so I can understand why you're feeling so anxious.

That said, please take precautions in future and don't let another child who obviously has a cold, sit on your lap let alone keep taking your child's bottle and drinking from it.

You could ask them to take more care with hand washing, but even in these times colds will spread. Childcare settings aren’t supposed to be socially distancing children or adults needing to provide care. Doing so would be emotionally abusive (and probably negligent). Hope he gets better soon and good luck starting back at work.

There is a huge difference between allowing a child with a runny nose to attend nursery and allowing that child to be all over another child.

They should absolutely be handwashing on arrival and before snacks. I would definitely raise that I'd nothing else and kids shouldn't be sharing bottles! Especially poorly ones!

Hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow and best of luck in your new job.

I would take him in for settling in as planned and start new job. It's a cold. He's fine. I wouldn't worry. Good luck in your new job!

@LadyofTheManners is spot on.

I never understand this.

If someone had posted saying the child had those symptoms should they take them in everyone would have said no.

When it's a complaint about the child being there everyone says that's what happens.

I can see why your upset OP, the advice is to get tested whenever anyone shows cold symptoms, this will be a nightmare when all kids are back at school and nursery as young children constantly have colds, coughs and other bugs.

I think you need to except that your child is likely to pick things up at nursery (mine were constantly ill ) but with the current corona situation it is pretty frustrating as people should not be sending kids in with cold symptoms unless conformed it’s not covid.

the nursery should not have allowed the child in.
but why are you so wet??
The child climbed on your lap, you shouldn't have allowed that!
And they drank from your dc bottle, why didn't you say anything??
You're upset with the nursery but you also allowed this to happen

Honestly under normal circumstances I would say get ready and brace yourself for the sickest year of your life. But with corona you might be lucky this year because hopefully there will be less sick children attending nursery.
When my dd started nursery we got everything under the sun, every month for an entire year.
We had:
D&V three times
Conjunctivitis
Ear infection
Cold, cough, fever twice
Hand, foot, and mouth

It is a year when kids have to build their immunity, and sadly the parents get an immunity refresh course too. It gets better over time.

You might get let off easy because parents are less likely to send kids in, and the nursery will be stricter, I hope. We struggled with juggling our sick days/childcare but somehow everyone manages to pull through this ghastly time, and you will too.

If in any doubt, get Covid tests, because that throws an additional spanner in the works.

I'm not sure why some posters have been so harsh, OP.

Both my kids have been through nursery and preschool and much of their time has been spent catching cold after cold, however this was pre-Covid. Lockdown where I live was lifted at the beginning of June and the kids have attended preschool 5 days a week since. Thanks to the preschool's very strict hygiene rules and a no-tolerance approach to coughs and colds, they're both now mixing with lots of other kids but haven't got sick one so far. Funny that It IS possible not to have kids snorting everywhere if people care enough for them not to.

I’m going to say that your nursery does sound lax. We aren’t allowing parents to enter at the moment, and we would always wash hands when coming back from play or sitting to eat.

We wouldn’t exclude a cold but we definitely are clean!

You are overreacting though why you let your child’s bottle get taken I don’t know.

And a PP is right. Your DH is going to have to step up or your job is always going to be subsidiary to his - so sometimes he is going to have to take a day off to look after the children. It’s going to be a big adjustment so best discussed now.

@Northernsoullover

NHS website and .gov regarding testing and track/trace are very clear 'If you get any symptoms of coronavirus (a high temperature, a new, continuous cough or a loss or change to your sense of smell or taste)'

As a tracer and registered nurse I can confirm these are the symptoms you go off when considering whether to test.

If I had a croaky voice, a runny nose and was sneezing I would be expected in work (patient facing) unless I had one of the three symptoms mentioned on the NHS website, I would then go in only after a negative test.

We’re also taking temperature checks at the door, washing hands and insisting children remove a layer of outer clothing and change shoes before they’re admitted.

I really feel for you, op. I have been in this situation and it is so stressful. I would call the nursery tomorrow morning explain that you and DC seem to have caught a cold due to the poorly child and their policy not being followed or enforced. Discuss with them whether it is best for your DC to come in when you start, having had 8 settling in sessions.

If they won't play ball with this, can MIL pick him up from a settling in session, rather than it being a whole day at nursery?

I understand what you're saying about your DH, we were in the same position after my last Mat leave. However, even if he can't take time off work, he needs to take on some of the organisation, he should be calling his mum to try to get something in place. You need him to step up, especially as it is your first time back in the work place after a long break.

He should really be thinking about how he can fit in the odd nursery drop off and collection into his week. It will benefit his relationship with the DC, which will also be to his benefit. It will also benefit your family finances.

I hope you get sorted, op. The childcare nightmare does get increasingly easier. What part of the country are you, op? If on the off chance you are in Norwich, I can recommend our nanny who does part time and one off jobs.

You don't know that this child doesn't have allergies, you don't know for sure that this child wasn't teething and the symptoms are from that. Maybe the mum and nursery agreed that if the child is happy within in himself he can remain at the setting. You don't know that the child had a temperature and testing for temps isn't recommended as it could mean sending all children home unnecessarily ( you can find this info in the gov guidance for early years )
Go for your covid test and self isolate until you get the results and speak to the manager however she's not obligated to discuss other children's medical conditions if there is any.

DH told me In his company they are reluctant to take mums with young kids on due to these things happening!

Fucking hell, that’s a bold statement! It’s illegal, in the first instance, and it means your DH has firmly placed himself in the ‘not my problem’ category.

You’d be better packing the new job in now if he won’t take any time off - our schools have been back for a week (one week!) and the school policy is they must have a negative COVID result before they can come into school if they have any symptoms (including, stupidly, hay fever, which isn’t even one of the symptoms).

It’s really not a good time to start a new job if your husband won’t take time off when his children need him.

Why did you let another child drink from your child's bottle?

When Dd was little dh earned more than I did as I was part time. So his job paid the mortgage. He was the one who took time off every time Dd was ill as his employer was more understanding. Earning more doesn’t mean you can’t ever take time off, if he’s been working there longer than you have been with your employer it makes sense for him to do it?