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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My one year caught a cold or something in nursery

173 replies

Alison421e · 23/08/2020 05:42

Doing a settling in for my one year old last week and supposed to do next week too. I’m back to work very soon. Monday and Tuesday of last week were fab but on Wednesday another child came in for settling too and was visibly ill. This child was sneezing and coughing with thick green mucus coming out of nose which mum was constantly cleaning. This child took an interest in my little one and sneezed over him a couple of times, came very close to me and tried sitting on my lap which I obviously let happen as what else do you do! Mother was just sitting there not intervening. I could see snot dripping down it’s face. I asked mum if child okay and she replied “yes just teething”. This child also kept taking my little ones bottle and drank from it.

I’ve got 3 kids and it was obviously not teething it was a full blown cold! Woken up yesterday and both me and little one are ill. I’m fuming. I don’t know what if anything I should do like should I speak to nursery? Just for context I’m very quiet and reserved and not quick to anger so completely out of character for me. I’m annoyed now as I am going back to work and have no one to help settle my LO. Mil will have other 2 kids and DH working, I have no idea what to do.

LO seems a little better now. No cough just occasionally and less runny nose. What shall I do? Still take him in like this mother did as I have no option or speak to nursery but then I can’t take him in obviously as manager will say not too, but they obviously said nothing to this mother as she was in for rest of week.

Any advice? I’ve also seen no hand washing at all going on. Kids given snacks without washing hands. My eldest 2 never went nursery just straight to reception school. Any advice please?

If we stay in bed all day today I’m hoping we’ll be better. I’ve had de-humidifier running all night with vapour oil. I’m so bloody annoyed we were all so careful all these months not going anywhere. It’s a new job too so they not going to understand.

OP posts:
Wheneverwhereve · 23/08/2020 06:45

Just saw your other posts anxiety is normal with restarting work especially after a long period of time... send him in (unless Covid symptoms or positive test) and enjoy your first day of work, if you miss your first day if work it will make your anxiety worse.

FippertyGibbett · 23/08/2020 06:46

To be honest, I wouldn’t have let an obviously ill child anywhere me or my child. I would have said something there and then to the nursery.
Unless that child has had a negative test it shouldn’t have been there.
There are going to be a lot of children sent home who appear ill, we’re just going to have to learn to live with it, as are our employers.

katmarie · 23/08/2020 06:46

My ds spent the first six months of nursery with a constant cold. Its part of going to nursery. As for not starting the other child until they were better, how do you know the mum has time for that? She might also be needing to get back to work.

At the end of the day kids get colds, its good for them, helps them build their immune system. Any child with covid symptoms should be kept off, but the common cold isn't going to do your little one any harm, other than feeling a bit grotty for a few days. I would send them in as planned next week. And try and accept the fact that they are going to pick up a few bugs along the way.

SmellsLikeFeet · 23/08/2020 06:46

@burritofan

I think you’ve probably got grounds to sue
Oh give over 🙄
Original poster
Alison421e · 23/08/2020 06:51

I’ll wait to hear what most other responses are and decide what to do next week.

Thank you for understanding @Wheneverwhereve about the anxiety about going back to work. DH told me In his company they are reluctant to take mums with young kids on due to these things happening! It makes me more anxious as I don’t want them regretting taking me on.

OP posts:
rottiemum88 · 23/08/2020 06:52

Obvious high temperature as face was red and mother told me it’s teething - might not have written this one on OP

A red face doesn't indicate a temperature and many children without red faces will infact have a temp. The mother may well have been correct that her child was teething, for some reason DS was always a bit mucousy and red-cheeked whenever he was teething. Our nursery does temperature checks on the door everyday before they let the children in, did yours not do this?

Also, if you're in England I'd expect your COVID test result will be back before Tuesday. Most are within 24-48 hours.

TheGriffle · 23/08/2020 06:52

Can your dh not take any time off to do the settling in sessions or look after the poorly 1 year old? Why is it all down to you?

Sally7645 · 23/08/2020 06:54

If LO is well enough to enjoy the settling session Monday then absolutely send them in.

I think perhaps have a chat with the nursery manager as otherwise this will niggle away at you. Mention that the other parents kid was noticeably poorly and no one said anything, can she tell you what to expect re hand washing etc / their Covid measures in general. Perhaps they need some parents to comment to take it a bit more seriously. Or perhaps they'll be able to make you feel better as it's possible they do have a grip on it and what you experienced wasn't the norm.

As much as the other mum should have probably rearranged for a few days later when the kid wasn't so leaky, perhaps she is going back to work / starting a new job and desperate to get settling done. If the shoe was on the other foot and your LO had this cold and not attending settling was going to mess up starting your job then what would you have done?

Broomfondle · 23/08/2020 06:56

My child goes to a very small nursery and I have full faith in their hygiene standards and they're very hot on hand washing etc. My 2 year old spiked a temp and had a streaming nose on Friday. We all went for testing and we're negative, it's just the first of the autumn snots. I checked with nursery if they'd prefer we keep him off even with negative test but they said if they excluded every well child with a runny nose they'd be empty all winter.
I'm heavily pregnant and have been up all night with sore throat, streaming nose, swollen glands. It's just one of those things.
All you can do is Corona test if one of the three symptoms and stay at home till results.

AnyOldPrion · 23/08/2020 06:57

To be honest, I wouldn’t have let an obviously ill child anywhere me or my child. I would have said something there and then to the nursery.

Good tip for the future. I’d have been like you, OP, but maybe we all need to be more proactive.

That said, in your circumstances, assuming neither of you have a feber, I’d probably take my child in on Monday, then when I was going to work, I’d take decongestants to suppress symptoms, and go.

Pretty shit, and generally I think people should stick to the rules about not going to work with colds at present, but in your situation, I’d probably do it.

Original poster
Alison421e · 23/08/2020 06:57

No temperature checks at door. DH can’t take time off as his job pays the mortgage and bills. I haven’t worked for 5 years so he’s done amazing job supporting us all. I can’t expect him to take time off and not get any income as he’s a contractor so if he doesn’t go in we don’t get money coming in. I won’t be getting my first wage till October 15th so it makes no sense him giving up paid jobs. We’ll be in a far worse situation if he did this

OP posts:
ememem84 · 23/08/2020 06:57

Ds gets red faced when he’s hot - not temperature hot but when he’s been running round like a crazy.

He also gets snotty nose when he was teething. Dd is teething now and bas the snotty nose.

I’m still sending them to nursery.

vanillandhoney · 23/08/2020 06:57

Why can't your DH take time off? Confused

Oct18mummy · 23/08/2020 06:58

The parent shouldn’t have sent the child to nursery. The nursery shouldn’t have accepted the child if it claims so on their website.

But nursery is a germ fest - the next 6 months is going to be full of all sorts of bugs etc until your child builds up an immunity been there done that!

Original poster
Alison421e · 23/08/2020 07:00

@vanillandhoney to answer why my DH can’t take time off read my last post.

OP posts:
SmellsLikeFeet · 23/08/2020 07:02

@vanillandhoney

Why can't your DH take time off? Confused
Read the thread 🙄
Penguinnn · 23/08/2020 07:03

Is this a joke? The op doesn’t seem to mention being concerned about Covid as you say a cold ect and don’t mention the temp until a drip feed. I think you’re being massively OTT being angry your child caught a cold. Yes children will get colds off each other. It seems the posters mentioned Covid and you jumped on that bandwagon to support your claims of being angry.

CrunchyNutNC · 23/08/2020 07:04

@Alison421e

No temperature checks at door. DH can’t take time off as his job pays the mortgage and bills. I haven’t worked for 5 years so he’s done amazing job supporting us all. I can’t expect him to take time off and not get any income as he’s a contractor so if he doesn’t go in we don’t get money coming in. I won’t be getting my first wage till October 15th so it makes no sense him giving up paid jobs. We’ll be in a far worse situation if he did this
You've done an amazing job supporting and raising your family OP.

Either your job is at risk if you miss the first day, in which case your DH missing one or two days to allow you to go is preferred (he loses 2 days income but you gain a full wage) or

Your job will be ok if you missed day 1/2 in which case he's better to keep working and you can and should stop worrying about it.

ElvisPawsley · 23/08/2020 07:07

But you let an obviously ill child sit on your lap etc... And now you're furious that you caught it's cold? What did you think would happen?

It's just one of those things imo. Children are always ill especially in these sorts of settings, I'd take him in so long as he's not very poorly.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/08/2020 07:08

Be prepared OP, all the hygiene measures in the world are not going to stop your 1 year old picking up colds constantly for the first year in a childcare setting. A 1 year old can't SD, and will be all over the other kids. Like other parents, after the first 1 or 2 times, you will send your child in with normal colds or will lose your job as you are never there. Get used to it.

Nursery should be hand washing on principal but wont stop toddlers spreading bugs as they will stick their fingers in their mouths/lick something 5 seconds later.

JMKid · 23/08/2020 07:10

Ffs, get a grip. It's a bloody cold. It what happens.

TheGriffle · 23/08/2020 07:11

No, I’m sorry that doesn’t work with your Dh. So you’re saying that every time one of your 3 children are ill it will be down to you to take time off work? That’s just taking the piss and one reason why employers won’t employ women with children. Your job is now just as important as your husbands otherwise you may as well not work at all still.

Doyouknowwhat · 23/08/2020 07:12

If you are awaiting covid test results you must not send him in. You should be self isolating him until the results are back.

However, I think you have massively over reacted to a cold.

Wynston · 23/08/2020 07:12

When do you actually start work op.
I have read the thread and you say monday and Tuesday are settling in days and that you will have to potentially take time off and obviously this is the last thing you want to do but I didn't see the start date for work?
Hope you are both feeling better soon.

CheesecakeAddict · 23/08/2020 07:13

The nerves are a totally normal part of going back to work. I would have a cosy pj day today and send him in for his settling in Monday, at least then you'll get an idea of how they do react with a cold and you'll know if you need to put any plans in for Tuesday.

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