My one year caught a cold or something in nursery

[Alison421e]

Doing a settling in for my one year old last week and supposed to do next week too. I’m back to work very soon. Monday and Tuesday of last week were fab but on Wednesday another child came in for settling too and was visibly ill. This child was sneezing and coughing with thick green mucus coming out of nose which mum was constantly cleaning. This child took an interest in my little one and sneezed over him a couple of times, came very close to me and tried sitting on my lap which I obviously let happen as what else do you do! Mother was just sitting there not intervening. I could see snot dripping down it’s face. I asked mum if child okay and she replied “yes just teething”. This child also kept taking my little ones bottle and drank from it.

I’ve got 3 kids and it was obviously not teething it was a full blown cold! Woken up yesterday and both me and little one are ill. I’m fuming. I don’t know what if anything I should do like should I speak to nursery? Just for context I’m very quiet and reserved and not quick to anger so completely out of character for me. I’m annoyed now as I am going back to work and have no one to help settle my LO. Mil will have other 2 kids and DH working, I have no idea what to do.

LO seems a little better now. No cough just occasionally and less runny nose. What shall I do? Still take him in like this mother did as I have no option or speak to nursery but then I can’t take him in obviously as manager will say not too, but they obviously said nothing to this mother as she was in for rest of week.

Any advice? I’ve also seen no hand washing at all going on. Kids given snacks without washing hands. My eldest 2 never went nursery just straight to reception school. Any advice please?

If we stay in bed all day today I’m hoping we’ll be better. I’ve had de-humidifier running all night with vapour oil. I’m so bloody annoyed we were all so careful all these months not going anywhere. It’s a new job too so they not going to understand.

Ps you won't last 5 minutes in a job if your DH is not sharing the load in terms of family responsibilities. You both need to take turns taking time off, or honestly, you will lose your job if you take the piss and it's clear you are not splitting time off with the childrens father.

Thanks everyone even the ones saying I’m overreacting! I will have a cosy day today. I really wish I hadn’t booked Covid test as don’t want to leave house and obviously I know it’s not Covid just a cold! There’s no option to cancel on website.

Settling is min 2 weeks monday - Friday. I’ll be starting work the day after settling In was supposed to be finished. They won’t take him if he hasn’t done minimum 10 days. Not sure what I saud sbiut only Monday n Tuesdays! Haven’t slept all night!

Is if a drive through test? If you are going today you'll get the results tomorrow, then if dc seems well enough to be out then send to nursery on Tuesday.

I would raise with the nursery, explain that it gives you concerns around their policies given if states not bring child in sick, was there a particular reason they allowed this on the day...given the whole bubble could have got sick.

My one year old started a month ago. She wasn't allowed in the building or with the other babies till her first full day. They are being very rigid on following guidance, and so they should.

• saud sbiut = said about

I was in this exact position this week. DS started a new nursery on Friday of last week, caught a cold, coughed a couple of times on Tuesday morning.

I kept him off on Tuesday, booked a test. The results were back 8 hours later. No one got sued, no angry words were said. Kids get colds, it's what happens. It meant I couldn't visit my husband in the hospice on Tuesday, and DS had a boring day at home with me, but wasn't the end of the world.

I read a study a few years ago that said that children who go to nursery are significantly less likely to develop childhood leukemia - the theory being that immune systems need to be challenged (by colds etc) to develop normally.

Send your child for the remaining settling sessions once your results come back. It'll be fine.

You have my sympathies. I’ve often picked up my son from nursery to see one of this classmates (not always the same) bright red, sweating and crying - clearly dosed up with ibuprofen at 8am to get them through til the end of the day.

In normal times you can’t expect kids with colds to stay home but it would be reassuring to know this kid had been tested wouldn’t it? Though I can see why the parent wouldn’t bother if it doesn’t have typical Covid symptoms.

Incidentally I hate the “teething causes a fever” shit. It quite simply DOES NOT. Maybe slightly warm but never above 38 degrees and never any other symptoms.

I thought I was on the mucky end of the spectrum, but I can’t get past letting another child share your child’s bottle - sick or not. I don’t think you have any grounds for complaint if you let that happen.

Agree with pps they catch all the bugs at nursery and sail through school. Mine even had chickenpox from nursery (mildly, as they were so young).

Some manic hysteria here. 'cold' symptoms are NOT symptoms of Covid.

[quote Alison421e]@vanillandhoney to answer why my DH can’t take time off read my last post.[/quote]
That doesn't answer my question - all it says is you think his job is more important. So going forward is he never going to take time off? You have to do it all?

That's not really how it should work. He's a parent - the children are his responsibility too.

Also check nursery policy, as many don't let children back at all without confirmation of a negative covid test if they've shown any symptoms.

It's a faff but those are the guidelines.

@Wondergirl100

Some manic hysteria here. 'cold' symptoms are NOT symptoms of Covid.

Where I am apparently they are. We’ve been told we must stay home from work if we have cold symptoms (sore throat headache blocked/runny nose).

I didn’t think these were the major symptoms. But seeing as it presents differently in different people I guess the don’t want to take chances here. Our government have told us to stay home from work for a cold yet have fully opened our borders...

His job isn't more important btw. If you're back at work then he needs to step up and do his share of pick ups/sick days/parents evenings and all sorts.

Otherwise you're working and still picking up all the childcare and sick days 🙄

@Wondergirl100

Some manic hysteria here. 'cold' symptoms are NOT symptoms of Covid.

This type of attitude is what will jeopardise the success of school/nursery settings. In what circumstance do you think a child should be tested?

We cannot simply assume that an adult who has a temperature and a cough requires a test, while if it is a child 'it'll just be a cold +/- teething'. It may well be/probably is just a cold but if everyone assumes it is, every time, then some child will at some point turn up with covid and give it to the entire setting (staff included).

Getting children who have a cough/temperature tested and keeping them off is a total PIA. It is, however, vastly preferable to the whole setting closing for weeks. We aren't just talking about a runny nose here, this child had a temperature and a cough both of which are in the top three covid symptoms.

So youre start date is the 1st of September taking into consideration the bank holiday?
Is there any chance of asking nursery if they would let dc only do 8days given the cold and the current situation.
They clearly let a child in with a cold which is against their own policy?

Some manic hysteria here. 'cold' symptoms are NOT symptoms of Covid

Except they really are. My neighbour had covid, and started out thinking it was a cold as she was sneezing as well as coughing etc. It was only when her husband ended up in hospital that they got a test.

I have 3 DCs and am normally very relaxed about colds at nursery, but not in this environment when it means that at best other, more responsible, families will have to isolate while waiting for test results and when you are risking spreading a serious illness.

Can't believe all the blase posts, I've been very pro the return to school but if so many people take this attitude we really are all screwed, they'll be closing within days.

@PrawnRingonit well the common cold IS doing the rounds.

We have not been out and don't go anywhere, I hate wearing a mask so don't go out!

Yet we ALL have picked up a cold.

It's going to be a long autumn/winter

@burritofan 🤣🤣

@vanillandhoney

His job isn't more important btw. If you're back at work then he needs to step up and do his share of pick ups/sick days/parents evenings and all sorts.

Otherwise you're working and still picking up all the childcare and sick days 🙄

Give it a rest. Your comments have nothing to do with the problem at hand and op has already explained her reasoning for her dh not being off. It’s an entirely valid reason.

@CrunchyNutNC thank you. I feel I’m going back and forth in my thinking as people comments I’m overreacting. I am going for Covid test just to be safe, there’s no harm. Even the nursery website echoes what You just said that they need it to be a safe environment so it can remain open to all staff and kids, so they explicitly have stated ANY cold and flu symptoms. Plus coughing and high temp obviously. That why I wrote this post Initially as they might turn around and say sorry go home to me but they let this woman and her kid in! Which infuriated me as they said it very clearly on website not to send in till symptoms have gone

OP I think you've had some really nasty, typical MN answers here.
For starters, you are going to worry. Leaving a child with people outside your family unit is always going to be an anxious time. You have to trust they oversee them to the same level you yourself have.
Of course, that's not entirely possible because they are also responsible for lots of other children too.
If you've never experienced nursery before, it can be a little chaotic, it's part of having tiny ones to more boisterous toddlers there. And of course, sippy cups will be a free for all as most children won't understand that the cups aren't communal as ownership isn't in their vocab yet.

Personally, I would be raising a polite query regards their covid 19 policies and covid secure plan. Everywhere has to have one now. I would raise the fact that, in current circumstances, the "it's just a cold" attitude isn't practical. Voice calmly that you have concerns that this very obviously unwell child wasn't stopped from entering as this completely flouts current guidelines.
To posters acting as if op is precious, yes they are germy places and colds do tend to be a constant.
But we aren't in normal times, hygiene is important, surfaces should be wiped down regularly, hands should be washed regularly, and kids with obvious illness should be told not today. Cups should be marked with a child's name and only be given to that child. At the very least a temperature check should be done.
Yes that will effect those who dump and run due to work, but that's sadly something employees and their bosses are going to have to factor in as more children go back to school and nursery.
Our school has said if a child so much as coughs they will be isolated and sent home asap.
You will need to be assertive op. They've broken clear guidelines and as a result your family has been put at risk of harm. That cannot happen again and frankly, if they fail to respond and instigate measures under current guidelines I would be reporting them. There is a website you can report breaches of Covid rules in business settings.
Everyone has to do their bit.

Kids get colds at nursery. It doesn't usually stop them attending. If you have a test today you'll probably get the results tomorrow (ours took about 14 hours to come back). Could you speak to nursery and see if you could do one day less of settling and still start him on the planned day due to the circumstances? If you get a negative test then I'd just send him in. My DS (and me and my husband by knock on effect!) had a cold that lasted about 3 months when he started nursery as he was picking up everything.

To answer a poster previously if what I would do - I wouldn’t have sent my child in, I wouldn’t have even questioned it. I am confused now as this woman and her child whose suffering from cold were allowed in all week. Hence my confusion, hence my anger. If nursery didn’t say on website about cold or flu symptoms I wouldn’t be here writing this now

Give it a rest. Your comments have nothing to do with the problem at hand and op has already explained her reasoning for her dh not being off. It’s an entirely valid reason.

Only they do surely, if, before she has even started the job, OP is facing taking time off because her husband's work is more important. OP had discounted her husband helping and it is being pointed out that this is not as unreasonable a course of action as she first thought.

@LadyofTheManners thank you so much for understanding my concerns

Give it a rest. Your comments have nothing to do with the problem at hand and op has already explained her reasoning for her dh not being off. It’s an entirely valid reason

Of course they do! If OP's husband took his share of time off, then OP could just go to work as planned and she wouldn't need to worry as much.

If OP insists on always doing everything childcare related for all her children while
also holding down a job then she's going to struggle. Her husband needs to step up and do his share - if both parents work, then both parents need to cover sick days. Why should all the stress and worry and time off fall on one person?