AIBU to wonder what 'very Catholic' means?

[Graunaile2017]

I read a comment on another thread describing parents as 'very Catholic '. I'm not from the UK so sometimes miss the nuance or underlying cultural meaning of comments like this, but it seems to imply negativity. What exactly constitutes 'very Catholic' and why is it bad?

@fascinated

Things seem very different in other countries — I think we are pretty liberal in the UK, certainly any I know.

If you're pretty liberal, then you're not "very Catholic" - if you believe in premarital sex, contraception, abortion, homosexual relationships etc, you're going against Catholic doctrine.

yeah I'm a bit surprised at the vitriol from some people tbh . Never seen 'very Jewish' or 'very Hindu' as a description on here

You've never seen strict Muslim? Strict Jewish at all?

7DC

I've used the rhythm method/ natural cycles app for most of the last 6 years and have 2DC (both planned)...not because I'm morally opposed to contraception, just the pill gave me migraines.

Catholic doctrine, when strictly followed, is homophobic and misogynistic at its roots, which is why devout followers of the religion tend to be treated with suspicion.

The suspicion against Catholics in the UK has far deeper cultural and historical roots than that.

chromalunga but many of the Catholics I know who are less “strict” as it were - probably prochoice etc are very much into social justice and do “Live their faith”. It always seems to be the strict rule followers who are stuck in the past who are incapable of doing that!

@Sayitagainwhydontyou — well, yes, that’s my point. That’s what all the Catholic people that I know are like. I don’t know any of my generation who are not pretty liberal, and yet they still would all say they were RC.

I’ve never met a Catholic who takes the family teachings/homosexuality side seriously, is my point.

[quote Graunaile2017]@NameChange84. yeah I'm a bit surprised at the vitriol from some people tbh . Never seen 'very Jewish' or 'very Hindu' as a description on here.
@Sayitaginwhydon'tyou, that's really so sad for those people, I always thought that the shame Catholicism was just a stereotype. Surely one would only feel shame or guilt if one did something that one felt ones self was actually wrong, otherwise what would one feel guilty about. Weird .[/quote]
Yeah, that's the problem! All these people were raised to believe that XYZ was a sin, and so when they "gave in" to temptation and had premarital sex, or couldn't afford anymore children and went on the pill, or fell in love with someone of the same sex, they all felt a tremendous amount of guilt, shame and misery. I went to uni with a girl who attempted suicide when she realised that no amount of praying would make her straight - she truly believed she was going to go to Hell, because she'd been raised devout Catholic her entire life.

If followed to the letter, it is a highly destructive doctrine in a modern society.

@Sayitagainwhydontyou can't think of a very Catholic way to say fuck off. My mum was a devout Catholic and did the opposite of condoning child abuse.

I wouldn't use it negatively particularly.

I might say "they are strict Catholics" if I wanted to be serious and 'they are very Catholic" if I was having a more casual conversation.

I am Catholic and go to weekly Mass (in normal times) and am involved with some parish stuff, but I wouldn’t call myself ‘very Catholic’.

There’s one family I’m thinking of that I would maybe describe as ‘very Catholic’ as shorthand to mean: large number of children, use NFP, kids named after saints you’ve never heard of, Catholicism is a huge part of their day-to-day lives and they never need to be reminded about a holy day of obligation because they already know. I wouldn’t mean it as an insult - they’re probably better Catholics than me.

Once the planned DC are all there, though, you don’t think they keep a few condoms around to be safe, or go on the pill etc? Really?

[quote fascinated]@Sayitagainwhydontyou — well, yes, that’s my point. That’s what all the Catholic people that I know are like. I don’t know any of my generation who are not pretty liberal, and yet they still would all say they were RC.

I’ve never met a Catholic who takes the family teachings/homosexuality side seriously, is my point.[/quote]
...then they're not "very Catholic", which is what the OP asked about. Hence the list I gave.

Maras has it - its all in the capitalisation,
Like conservative with a small c vs Conservative

Catholic with a large C relates to the church and so would be used to describe church doctrine and adherance to it eg a good Catholic, a lapsed Catholic, Catholic doctrine. And in our current times this would probably denote a certain moral code/lifestyle and comparative strictness, perhaps a lack of modern liberal attitudes

However the word catholic (small c) literally means universal, comprehensive & all embracing, so if you are to say someone has catholic attitude/taste/sympathies you mean they have broad interests, sympathies and are generally quite accepting and liberal.

Eg 'He has catholic tastes in music' means he likes a really wide range, pretty much everything while 'He has Catholic tastes in music' would possibly imply an adherence to Ave Maria and religious songs
Thus you can use a sentence like 'I dont think that the Catholic Doctrine is a particularly catholic doctrine.

TFIC but the English language has a lot to answer for
So were they very catholic or very Catholic parents?

The only people I now with large numbers of kids are Protestants who seem to follow a kind of baptist type church with very traditional views about women.

To me it's...

Sends kids to Catholic schools
Attends mass every Sunday and 2+ times in the week
Goes to confession
Fish on Friday

I'm a lapsed Catholic in that I was brought up Catholic ,went to Catholic schools etc and church every week untill I was about 19 ,I'm not against the religion there's good and bad in every religion ,both my boys have been baptized but we don't go to church regularly or even often but my oldest goes to a Catholic school,younges is disabled so goes to a Special school,I still have some Catholic guilt but would describe myself as agnostic.

Fair enough. I was just surprised because I’m not aware of this strain of RC persisting in the UK much at all.

@fascinated

Once the planned DC are all there, though, you don’t think they keep a few condoms around to be safe, or go on the pill etc? Really?

No, honestly. Same as the reason they have a lot of DC in the first place. It’s not that they were aiming for 2 and NFP let them down so they ended up with 7.

There are plenty of Catholics who use contraception but most of us will just say so

[quote Graunaile2017]@NameChange84. yeah I'm a bit surprised at the vitriol from some people tbh . Never seen 'very Jewish' or 'very Hindu' as a description on here.
@Sayitaginwhydon'tyou, that's really so sad for those people, I always thought that the shame Catholicism was just a stereotype. Surely one would only feel shame or guilt if one did something that one felt ones self was actually wrong, otherwise what would one feel guilty about. Weird .[/quote]
Maybe it's because it's said in a different way. As orthodox/Hasidic Jews are very strict sects of the Jewish faith

No, I see what you mean!

I suspect the „very Catholic“ parents in the OP might be from a majority RC country.

My grandma is what I would call very Catholic.

Mass daily, Rosary Daily, Says Novenas, does the flowers for the church, is genuine friends with multiple priests and nuns.

However she also has several grandchildren and great grandchildren who were born out of wedlock and considers each a blessing, and voted for same sex marriage.

I think a lot of people consider being very catholic means someone is an arsehole but it’s very much not the case.

Or the US maybe. I gather there is a bit of a movement for a return to the old conservative type Catholicism over there.

@fascinated

Or the US maybe. I gather there is a bit of a movement for a return to the old conservative type Catholicism over there.

Yes and a definite (and imho weird) overlap with the Protestant Quiverfull people’s approach to things.

Sayitagainwhydontyou put of interest, were you raised Catholic?

Just, as a Catholic Im getting a lot of awful stereotypes from you but nothing that aligns with my own, my family or my friends experiences.

This person sounds like they are a very strict (Orthodox?) Catholic

www.beginningcatholic.com/catholic-orthodoxy