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Original poster

Neighbour to 7 year old “We don’t like you either”

627 replies

Elsiebear90 · 22/08/2020 17:53

This happened to my friend’s 7 year old daughter, her mum is wondering if the neighbour was being unreasonable in saying this and should she bring it up next time she sees her as her daughter is very upset.

So my friend’s daughter (Lily) plays with a little boy who lives behind their house called Adam (names changed). Lily is with Adam and his mum in their front garden when Adam says he wants to play with the little boy who lives next door to him called Jack, but they’re never allowed to play in Jack’s house even though Jack plays in his (Adam’s) house all the time (which my friend says is true). Lily then says “I don’t mind though, I’d rather play in your house, because I don’t really like Jack’s mum and dad, they’re not that friendly”, not realising that Jack’s mum is also outside in her front garden. Jack’s mum then shouts over “Well don’t worry because we don’t like you either Lily”. Lily then became very upset, started crying and Jack’s mum then said “Don’t cry, you started it”, Adam’s mum is not on friendly terms with Jack’s mum and told Lily to just ignore her.

Lily is now very upset and scared to see Jack and his mum and dad again so doesn’t want to play with Adam any more as they’re next door neighbours. Was Jack’s mum unreasonable to say this to a 7 year old (despite her saying she didn’t like them first) and should my friend discuss it with her next time they bump into each other?

OP posts:
timesareachanging · 22/08/2020 23:36

Child was rude.

Lesson learned the hard the hard way.

The end.

user1471510836 · 22/08/2020 23:44

Child was rude.

Lesson learned the hard the hard way.

The end.

Child was not rude.

The adult behaved like a child

The End

lakesidesummer · 23/08/2020 00:07

Lily was accurate if too blunt.
Plainly these parents aren't very nice.
As Lily grows older she will learn when to pass judgement on people and when it is safer not to.

Imissmoominmama · 23/08/2020 00:08

The child wasn’t rude- she was talking to her friend and had no idea that she could be overheard! She was simply stating why she didn’t want to go to Jack’s house- and judging by his mother’s response, she has a valid point!

Osirus · 23/08/2020 00:12

The seven year old did nothing wrong. She was having a private conversation with her friend.

Come on - how many of you said similar things at that age!!!???

How many of you STILL say such things whilst having private conversations with your friends?

alexdgr8 · 23/08/2020 00:31

@Imissmoominmama

The child wasn’t rude- she was talking to her friend and had no idea that she could be overheard! She was simply stating why she didn’t want to go to Jack’s house- and judging by his mother’s response, she has a valid point!
exactly.
faithfulbird · 23/08/2020 00:36

7 year old is a child and the adult neighbour should have understood that. She shouldn't have snapped back like that. Just ignored it and been nice to her.

queenofknives · 23/08/2020 08:04

I never realised until now how many adults look up to Miss Trunchbull as a role model...

diddl · 23/08/2020 08:21

So Jack's mum heard one kid saying that Jack is always at his house but he's never goes there.

Another kid saying that Jack's mum (& dad) don't seem friendly so she doesn't like them.

Jack's mum should be looking at her own behaviour!

Aridane · 23/08/2020 08:22

Or how many parents subscribe to the Violet Elizabeth Bott school of parenting 😂

KarenFitzkaren · 23/08/2020 08:28

Lilly should apologise. Write a letter or something. It doesn't matter if she doesn't like someone. But to say it out loud is rude and she has seen the consequences of that.

Minimumstandard · 23/08/2020 08:44

Jack's mum interrupted a private conversation. Very rude.

dudsville · 23/08/2020 08:48

Surely some of what lily is experiencing is embarrassment at having been caught talking "behind the neighbours back" as it were.

Ideasplease322 · 23/08/2020 08:51

Lily should not apologise. What an awful lesson to teach her. She’s a child who explained why she didn’t like two adults to another child.

She didn’t use cruel or nasty language. She was quite matter of fact.

It’s okay not to like people. It’s okay to find people unfriendly. Has she said she didn’t like the little boy because he was ugly, then yes an apology would be required.

Jacks mum needs to grow up. And maybe be a little nicer to small children.

Ideasplease322 · 23/08/2020 08:53

Saying aloud you don’t like someone is not at all rude😂. The snowflake generation has taken over.

smallestleaf · 23/08/2020 09:05

Its not the mothers job to be liked by her neighbours children. Shes done nothing wrong. Literally all she did was mind her own damn business whilst her bitchy neighbours gossiped about her and her kid going to another neighbours house and then one of the neighbours kids rudely announces outside in ear shot not only of the mother but potentially her son that she doesnt like her. So the mother merely throws it back at the kid to teach her a lesson

Are you o.k.?

smallestleaf · 23/08/2020 09:06

I never realised until now how many adults look up to Miss Trunchbull as a role model...

Grin I actually laughed out loud.

smallestleaf · 23/08/2020 09:08

As Lily grows older she will learn when to pass judgement on people and when it is safer not to

I genuinely hope Lily learns that it is ok to say to people who are unpleasant to you, 'I don't like you and I am no longer going to be around you because of the way you behave to me.' Learning that will really help her in life.

Hepcat75 · 23/08/2020 09:10

For the love of Mike, and whatever else you do, don't get her to write this hard-arse a letter of apology!

Potterpotterpotter · 23/08/2020 09:23

Lily slagged off jacks family, she needs to learn to become more resilient if she’s going to slag people off in public to deal with any consequences.

WhatsTheFrequencyKennneth · 23/08/2020 09:27

I wouldn't say anything to the neighbour as there's little point, it will only end in an argument.
If my child said a parent was unkind I'd be asking why they've said that. Perhaps the parent did something to them, hit them or screamed at them last time they were round.

Newmumatlast · 23/08/2020 09:29

Absolutely no idea why people are being mean about Lily in this scenario by suggesting she is rude or has learnt her lesson or is a gossip etc. She was talking to her friend. It was her opinion. If she does not like someone she is allowed to say that. Nothing in the OP suggests she said it maliciously or vindictively or anything like that. Yes she does need to learn that if someone hears you say that you don't like them they may say something similar back - so don't have a word. But also I don't think she needs to learn a lesson or be told off. Quietening her opinions at this age will not bode well for adulthood

daisypond · 23/08/2020 09:32

@Potterpotterpotter

Lily slagged off jacks family, she needs to learn to become more resilient if she’s going to slag people off in public to deal with any consequences.
She did not slag them off. She said she didn’t like them because they were unfriendly. Under no circumstances does that equate to slagging them off. And it was not in public. She was on private property.
lyralalala · 23/08/2020 09:33

@Potterpotterpotter

Lily slagged off jacks family, she needs to learn to become more resilient if she’s going to slag people off in public to deal with any consequences.
She did not slag them off at all. Adam mentioned not being allowed to play there and Lily stated that she preferred his house as Jack's parents are unfriendly.

That is not, by any stretch of the imagination, slagging off.

Lily is also 7. She clearly thought of the garden as a private space. Because she's 7.

Twillow · 23/08/2020 09:46

What 7 year olds say is generally honest rather than rude. In this context it was not intended to be heard by the neighbour. Lily already understands that it upset the neighbour and wouldn't, I think, have said it if she knew the woman could hear. The woman is an arse by the sound of it.

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