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Original poster

Neighbour to 7 year old “We don’t like you either”

627 replies

Elsiebear90 · 22/08/2020 17:53

This happened to my friend’s 7 year old daughter, her mum is wondering if the neighbour was being unreasonable in saying this and should she bring it up next time she sees her as her daughter is very upset.

So my friend’s daughter (Lily) plays with a little boy who lives behind their house called Adam (names changed). Lily is with Adam and his mum in their front garden when Adam says he wants to play with the little boy who lives next door to him called Jack, but they’re never allowed to play in Jack’s house even though Jack plays in his (Adam’s) house all the time (which my friend says is true). Lily then says “I don’t mind though, I’d rather play in your house, because I don’t really like Jack’s mum and dad, they’re not that friendly”, not realising that Jack’s mum is also outside in her front garden. Jack’s mum then shouts over “Well don’t worry because we don’t like you either Lily”. Lily then became very upset, started crying and Jack’s mum then said “Don’t cry, you started it”, Adam’s mum is not on friendly terms with Jack’s mum and told Lily to just ignore her.

Lily is now very upset and scared to see Jack and his mum and dad again so doesn’t want to play with Adam any more as they’re next door neighbours. Was Jack’s mum unreasonable to say this to a 7 year old (despite her saying she didn’t like them first) and should my friend discuss it with her next time they bump into each other?

OP posts:
bumblingbovine49 · 22/08/2020 22:02

I don't think Lilly was being rude or mean. Saying you don't like someone very much because they are not friendly is stating an opinion in a reasonable not rude way . The patent who overheard it shouldn't have been eavesdropping. People who do that often hear no good

As it happens the child was right. Those parents don't seem very friendly at all .

WouldaCouldaShouldaNot · 22/08/2020 22:07

Some of the opinions on here are those of toxic and damaging parents and they don't even realise it

Yup

TatianaBis · 22/08/2020 22:08

The stupidity of posters thinking Lily was being rude. She was reassuring Adam and being honest in a way 7 year olds are. She had no idea she was overheard.

She’s 7 years old people.

Jack’s mum is obviously a loon and has amply proven Lily right.

BatShite · 22/08/2020 22:12

The 'adult' in this situatio is quite a childish wanker IMO. Even if the child did 'start it' (who says this about a throwaway comment from a 7 year old ffs)

SentientAndCognisant · 22/08/2020 22:14

Many on mn parent like Jacob Rees Mogg, probably play shuve ha’penny too
They claim their children write thank you letters, and please/thank you all the time
In this parallel universe Rudeness is never exhibited or tolerated. No child plays fort nite and rooms are tidied by said children

RyanBergarasTeeth · 22/08/2020 22:17

No wonder kids are such pansies nowadays. Its not like the mom swore at her or called her names. I would have said the same thing. The kid should learn her lesson and not be rude about other people where they might hear it.

ivfdreaming · 22/08/2020 22:21

I think a 7 year old whose only exposure it would seem to Jacks parents is very limited since the post clearly states that they don't play at jacks house they only play at Adams isn't qualified to have an opinion on whether that makes the parents/adults friendly or not

And it will teach her a valuable lesson about talking about others behind their backs

Hopeisthething · 22/08/2020 22:24

Appalled by some of these responses. Such vitriol about a young child giving her honest opinion, not realising she could be overheard. Nobody I know in real life would think Jack’s mum was reasonable

lyralalala · 22/08/2020 22:27

@ivfdreaming

I think a 7 year old whose only exposure it would seem to Jacks parents is very limited since the post clearly states that they don't play at jacks house they only play at Adams isn't qualified to have an opinion on whether that makes the parents/adults friendly or not

And it will teach her a valuable lesson about talking about others behind their backs

Even if she had only met Jack's parents once she's qualified to say how friendly they were.

On the rare occasion Lily and Adam have been allowed over Jack’s house Jack’s parents have made it fairly clear they didn’t want them there (telling them off for making noise, asking how long they’re going to be there, not allowing them food or drinks despite them frequently being given both at other friends houses) and kicking them out after an hour for “breaking rules”.

They've obviously played there more than once so Lily has had chances to know how she feels about how friendly Jack's parents were to her.

How many times do you have to be in someone's company before you are qualified to have an opinion on how they treated you?

Cherrygirl3 · 22/08/2020 22:27

Lily was not aware that Jack's mum was in the garden? She wasn't saying it to her directly as I understand it? Therefore it was just an opinion that was overheard. We are all entitled to our opinion of others. My opinion is that Jack's mum was acting like a child in this situation and should grow up.

queenofknives · 22/08/2020 22:31

@Hopeisthething

Appalled by some of these responses. Such vitriol about a young child giving her honest opinion, not realising she could be overheard. Nobody I know in real life would think Jack’s mum was reasonable
It's actually quite upsetting. Some pp have no empathy and seem to dislike children. As a pp said, they are toxic adults and parents and they don't realise it.
TatianaBis · 22/08/2020 22:33

@RyanBergarasTeeth

No wonder kids are such pansies nowadays. Its not like the mom swore at her or called her names. I would have said the same thing. The kid should learn her lesson and not be rude about other people where they might hear it.
But it’s not like the kid swore at the mum or called her names.

She just said she didn’t like her as she wasn’t friendly. And she was right.

Are you really so insecure and lacking in self control that you can’t stop yourself from lashing out at a kid?

Surely the mum should learn her lesson and not be rude to kids so they might like her a bit more?

Penguinnn · 22/08/2020 22:36

Lily and next door neighbours both sound rude. No one in this story comes across well.

YgritteSnow · 22/08/2020 22:37

@RyanBergarasTeeth

No wonder kids are such pansies nowadays. Its not like the mom swore at her or called her names. I would have said the same thing. The kid should learn her lesson and not be rude about other people where they might hear it.
I genuinely don't know a single child I would class as a "pansy". I really thought about it too.
TatianaBis · 22/08/2020 22:43

I genuinely don't know a single child I would class as a "pansy". I really thought about it too.

I wouldn’t class anyone as a ‘pansy’ it’s an odd think to say about anyone.

And it’s an old derogatory word for gay.

RyanBergarasTeeth · 22/08/2020 22:43

But it’s not like the kid swore at the mum or called her names.

And the mom didnt swear or call the kid names she merely repeated what the child had said.

Surely the mum should learn her lesson and not be rude to kids so they might like her a bit more?

Maybe the kid should learn her lesson and realise what goes around comes around. Your never too young to know actions have consequences. Its not like Lily is going to be in therapy in ten years a mere husk of a person rocking back and forth sobbing about her neighbours mother saying i dont like you either.

TatianaBis · 22/08/2020 22:45

@RyanBergarasTeeth

But it’s not like the kid swore at the mum or called her names.

And the mom didnt swear or call the kid names she merely repeated what the child had said.

Surely the mum should learn her lesson and not be rude to kids so they might like her a bit more?

Maybe the kid should learn her lesson and realise what goes around comes around. Your never too young to know actions have consequences. Its not like Lily is going to be in therapy in ten years a mere husk of a person rocking back and forth sobbing about her neighbours mother saying i dont like you either.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re not very bright rather than an arsehole.
DustyMaiden · 22/08/2020 22:52

I think Lily is a good judge of character.

RyanBergarasTeeth · 22/08/2020 22:59

I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re not very bright rather than an arsehole.

Right back at ya.

Its not the mothers job to be liked by her neighbours children. Shes done nothing wrong. Literally all she did was mind her own damn business whilst her bitchy neighbours gossiped about her and her kid going to another neighbours house and then one of the neighbours kids rudely announces outside in ear shot not only of the mother but potentially her son that she doesnt like her. So the mother merely throws it back at the kid to teach her a lesson. No harm done. The kid learns an important life lesson.

TatianaBis · 22/08/2020 23:02

Well perhaps you’re both.

BigChocFrenzy · 22/08/2020 23:08

"The kid learns an important life lesson"

... that some adults are just as childish as she is

mugginsalert · 22/08/2020 23:20

I can clearly hear my neighbours' conversations through some walls/yards and they mine. We all pretend we can't though unless we've already said hello. I'd hate to live next to someone who was actively listening and joining in whenever.

One 7 year old child overhearing another and responding in kind is natural consequences and a chance to learn about checking who's in earshot. An unfamiliar adult can't respond in kind to a 7 year old child and has a greater responsibility.

If Jacks mum had kept quiet she might actually have learnt something useful from the conversation about how she's seen by her son's friends and perhaps what he would say too. Instead it sounds like a 7 year old's comment struck a nerve.

Skysblue · 22/08/2020 23:22

Poor Lily. If she said that to the adult’s face that would be rude - but she didn’t. She was having a private conversation which an adult overheard and interrupted.

Jack’s parents sound horrible. In which case, confronting them will only escalate the conflict from child-adult to adult-adult. Don’t raise it with them (unless feel like it and not bothered by a row). Avoid them as much as possible and write off Jack as a potential friend.

Invite Adam round to play at Lily’s place and accept that his house may not be a great play venue for her.

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/08/2020 23:30

Tell her that when she gossips about someone Ultimately she is the one who will get hurt just like this. Natural consequences. As for Jack’s mum - I personally would be looking to drop her and Jack out of my child’s life, even if that means only hosting Adam at mine.

Devlesko · 22/08/2020 23:33

It's a bit of nothing over a silly remark made by two people, one a child, the other a grown up.
I'd have shouted the same in a sarcy funny way tbh.