To not be able to go to the toilet at PILs' house?

[TheVamoosh]

Currently at in-laws for two weeks. They've got two bathrooms and we're always given sole use of the "good" bathroom when we stay. Unfortunately, it's separated from the main living area by only a wall and does not have a lock on the door. When you're on the toilet, you're right near both the dining table and the sofa and TV, where there are always people sitting. There's just no good time to go to the toilet, ever! (Even if I could decide for myself when to poo, which I can't.) Today I tried going when I was bathing my children, so their noise would cover mine. That didn't work - MIL came in to give me towels! FFS.

I've even tried sneaking off to the other toilet, which is in a much more private location, only to be told off for using the wrong bathroom! "You're supposed to use the nice one that I have prepared for you!"

As always when we're visiting, I'm horribly constipated. Knowing that people can hear me or come in at any moment makes it impossible for me to go.

AIBU to be this worried about making bathroom noises and smells right next to the main living area?! Who the fuck puts a toilet in such a stupid place anyway?

How to make yourself a door wedge out of cardboard

Find yourself a un needed box

Tear off a strip of cardboard

Fold one end into the middle.

Fold the other end over the top of the middle

You should now have a triangular shaped piece of cardboard construction. If you squash down the side created by the second fold, you should be able to wedge that under the door. You can adjust the number of folds on the first fold side to build up the wedge angle if the gap under the door is bigger.

I don't understand why you can't tell your husband

I mean, I have mentioned it in a jokey way a few times over the years but I wouldn't want him to make a big deal out of it by negotiating bathroom arrangements with his mother.

I feel your pain, I can’t poo in strange places, it makes holidays a nightmare.

Just ask for them to put a little lock on, its a 5 minute job. Cultural exchange works both way, and after all they keep saying its "your bathroom" for the time being. Are you in China? Most people in China have locks on their bathroom doors.

I hate this sort of thing. Stuff of nightmares. I would pop out to the shop every day, then go and have a coffee or beer in the local cafe and do my poo there.

I would have to have a wedge to use that toilet at all!
In fact we had a long conversation last night about the joys of an outside toilet (with a lock, naturally). No noise or smells with those ! DH would happily get one installed if we had anywhere remotely suitable to put it.

But yes - back to your problem OP. A wedge at the very least is necessary- the homemade version described by @seatosky is fine for a few days and next time maybe you can bring a couple of decorative ones to hang in their bathroom for other folk to use.

Laughing at all the people suggesting popping to shops to poo, that's even worse than going in someone's house.

Can you go for a walk and find a quiet area and poo in a bush? Next time bring an extra potty and use it in the bedroom?

Idk, I think i'd have some fun with this and let one rip and stink the entire house out if I could ;-)

@eyesbiggerthanstomach

I'm the same. I would go to a supermarket to use their public toilet.

I think that would be worse. Especially in a country where you can't flush the toilet paper.

Do not put paper in first, it will block the loo, I know I have done it. Run the tap and get DH to keep an eye on the door whilst you go. take the Vipoo with you.

You need to learn the trick of simultaneously flushing the loo and dropping your load. No smell and no noise.

So that VIPoo stuff works, eh? If only they could come up with some kind of anti-plop device too!

I can't really "pop out" anywhere, there's no shop nearby (and anyway if you've been to Greece you know their public toilet provision is patchy at best).

Next time bring an extra potty and use it in the bedroom? Hahahaha! Of course - pooing in your bedroom - why didn't I think of that? MIL won't think that's insane at all if she walks in! 😅

I feel your pain op but you are being absolutely ridiculous by not talking about this properly with your dp. If you don't sort it out you will have years and years of this ahead of you!

I used to tell my DH that I was going for a shower and go before I got in so he couldn’t hear, maybe you could do a similar thing?

MIL walks into your bedroom too?! Does she knock first? Or knock before opening the bathroom door for that matter?

Gaah that would drive me crazy.

Honestly you just neee to get out one noisy shit - and they’ll probably move you to the other bathroom

Im not suggesting you poo together. But that you can manage to have sex and two dc and still be coy about poo as a topic generally??