relationship

[Mango1p1]

So my partner and I have been dating for a year and a half we've had a lovely relationship he's truly the man if my dreams.
He's got a son who is 4 with his ex which was a very bad relationship she is an absolute psychopath and I was told to stay away right from the start she's even filed false police accusations against him.

So shes found out that we're dating and has decided to damage my partners car and cause drama between us to the stage she was telling her son he's got a new mummy and daddy doesn't want his mummy .
Honestly I could go on she's been racist to me on several occasions and his son has said some things too .

I've always respected his got a son but she's now using him to damage our relationship, im now pregnant and im trying to make a safe drama free home.

I've told my partner i don't want anything to do with his child and mother , I expressed this to him before I got pregnant.
Its not to spite the child but its to protect the family we have especially now we have a child of colour on the way .

I've told him to make a choice between him reconnecting with his son after a while on his mother's conditions or this family he has

Am I being unreasonable ,any solutions or suggestions would be welcome.

So bloody unreasonable. Why on earth would you ask somebody to choose between their children?!
This is the most ridiculous thing I've read on here, and that's saying something.

Jesus this is awful, you can’t ask him to choose between two of his children! He should take his ex for court for contact, I presume he is already doing that?

You were really silly to decide to bring a child into a situation this dire. Why would you bear a brother for a child who calls you racist names?? Why have a baby with a man with a "crazy ex"??. That is where my YABU came from.

Now that you have made that decision and got pregnant, you're going to have to navigate this much more carefully. It's not just your child to be prioritized, the best interests of ALL the children have to be understood.

I suggest you see a family counselor to work out how you're going to do this.

You should know that a partner who comes with children is a package deal.

Perhaps building a relationship with his son before you got pregnant would have been sensible.

How much are you going to resent him spending time with his son once your child is born?

I personally would have nothing to do with a man incapable of prioritising his existing children.

What a terrible parent he is.

Why on earth are you bringing a child into this? Why on earth would you imagine your baby should count for more than his existing 4 year old?

You sound awful, truly, but he sounds worse.

Why would having a new baby make this situation any better?

And as for “I don’t cause any issues”, I’m pretty sure asking him to abandon his son is quite an issue.

I can understand you being at the end of your tether and saying this as a last resort, I don't think it's the right thing to but I don't think you're unreasonable for thinking it given everything that's gone on

I do think you're very unreasonable to be pregnant so soon into a relationship especially one that had such drama in it. That's not fair on anyone

Ffs your baby is not more important than the 4yo

Your useless partner needs to fight for custody to get the boy away from his psycho ex!

What on earth possessed you to get pregnant in this situation? Ridiculous!

Tbh, I wouldn't want to be with any man who was happy to abandon any child of his, just to please his partner.
I get you need to keep YOUR child safe, but to ask him to choose?! That's just unfair. And he may well grow to resent you for making him.

@Mango1p1

the man in this situation had a choice aswel so it's not just down to me aswel

OP- It takes two but you were very very wrong and IRRESPONSIBLE to get pregnant in a situation like this. You are really delusional and playing a silly blame game with your child and your future. You really sound like a child.