Or is this a bit rubbish of school?

[Receptionwoes]

Ds (just turned four) is starting reception soon.

He didn’t go to the nursery attached to the school and knows no one.

Due to Covid, all the usual things we’ve been assured they would usually offer, have not been able to take place.

I’ve had one 30 second phone call with a TA who expressed surprise he was coming from that nursery as she doesn’t think they usually have anyone from there at all, and he’s one of only two starting who didn’t go to the nursery there (adding to my nerves).

I filled in an online form they sent out, pre six week holiday, asking about the child and I made a point of saying he doesn’t know anyone, is a summer born boy (therefore not as physically or emotionally mature as the others) and that he’s very sensitive and anxious, it took quite a while for him to settle into nursery. I’m therefore quite (understandably?) nervous about him starting.

They’re offering one hour on the playground the week before he starts straight in with full days 9-3 Monday to Friday the week after. That’s it. We’re not even allowed in the building on his first day to settle him in. A building he’s never set foot in before, filled with strangers.

I’d thought this was all a bit rubbish but due to Covid etc but have recently been hearing about all the things that other schools have been offering ie teachers have come to visit new starters at home/done zoom calls to meet them, phone calls with parents (I got nothing back from the form I sent expressing the above concerns), stay and play sessions, staggered starts etc etc.... now I’ll wondering if it’s the school itself that’s a bit rubbish?! Aibu? I’m all new to this so not sure!

A squash and a squeeze is normally a popular reception book.

If you are meaning reading 😅 also the phonics sheets that you colour in sing the song and try to write the letter. Like puff puff puff out the candles.

You sound lovely Smellbellina 😊very much like my child’s reception teacher.
These are difficult times for us all and everyone is just trying to find their feet so it’s all going to be different between each school.
All we can hope for are safe, healthy, happy children over the next little while.

Tbh I think this is more your projection than your child’s?

Why are you so fussed about your child not knowing anyone? Plenty of children don’t go to pre school or nursery and start school and make friends just fine?

Even without Covid, I think it would be unusual to let you into the building - goodbyes are said in the playground/at the schoolgate. I don't think the other kids already knowing each other will make that much difference (at least I hope not) as friendships at such a young age are often quite fluid. Hope it goes well!

Both of mine knew no one when they started school as the went to the nursery I work at rather than a local one. My eldest had one induction hour in the July, then one half day in September before full time. My youngest went straight into full days as he had to have an operation the week school started and didn't start until the end of September. Honestly, he was totally fine. At that age children are so adaptable and friendship groups aren't really a thing, they all just play with everyone. Also, they are so accepting of others.

I think that it's a far bigger adjustment for us parents to be honest. We go from getting tons of feedback from nursery and time to settle them at the start of the day to whoosh, you're at school now, no real handover and get them in as fast as possible in the morning. That's just the way it is and you know what? The kids just deal with it. They know no different. Think of it this way, the drop off routine at nursery was, for them, associated with nursery. The drop off for them at school will be associated with school and they get used to it fast.

I have also worked in Reception, ten years ago, and seen it from the other side. Trust me, he'll be fine

My dd is now a teen so going back a few years but she didn't have any visits prior to starting. She was 1 of only 2 kids that hadn't attended the school nursery and is also a late summer baby. She was absolutely fine and yours will be too. Try not to worry

There was a two class entry in my son's year and all but two of them had come from the school nursery. I wouldn't say that it was a building he'd never set foot in before, full of strangers but in your terms it was. He was fine, they were all in a part of school they hadn't been in before, new toilets, different playground and they all settled in together.

Back in 2004 it was a two stage entry, the younger in the year starting at Christmas.

It's back to the 1970's! I think they could have made more of an effort to relax and get to know the new starts but then I've expected my dc's teachers to make more of an effort since lockdown started.

We are having a home visit from the teacher and TA
First week they are in 9.30-12
Second week 9.30 - 1pm to include lunch

My son also is the only child not from the attached preschool. However the class teacher has said that it can be a really positive thing. There are no preconceived friendship groups for your son, everyone is a potential friend and also he will be somewhat of a novelty to the others. I understand your concerns though. With your child being a summerborn you do have a right to part time schooling that you can exercise. So every morning until lunch say until you feel he is ready to go longer. There is a fantastic group on Facebook called Flexible School Admissions For Summer borns. Tons of helpful information on there and a very supportive friendly group.

He'll be fine. This is the start of him slowly separating from you and beginning to have his own life away from you. Prepare him as best you can by making him as independent as possible in the next couple of weeks with clothes, toileting, making his needs known etc then drop him off with a smile and a wave. By all means then have a little weep after you've dropped him off but please don't pass on your anxiety to him.

Nursery teacher here and I worry for my new class who don’t know me. We will be doing everything we can to help them settle in. We know it’s been a long time and it’s a big deal and I feel so much for our new children. Best thing you can do is talk positively about school and don’t show your anxiety to them. Smile through any tears you have and put on a brave face for your child. Give the school a chance, hopefully they’ll do their absolute best for your child.

Don’t worry. My son was the only child not from the school nursery, and his school starts fulltime 8-3:30 from day 1. no problem at all, and he is an introvert child with SENDs...

Why don’t you postpone sending him until next year?

DS started school when he was 4.5 and I don’t think he was actually ready for it. Thankfully, we moved country the following Easter, just days before before DS turned 5 and instead of sending him to the local primary school, we enrolled him in a pre-school for the 6 week summer term.

He then started Primary as a new starter, the following September and it’s worked out perfectly.

Just wanted to add some words of encouragement OP. I used to be a nursery teacher and most of the children went on up to reception but not all of them.

Honestly, to you it’s a big school but their world inside of it is very small. The only thing our nursery children would know that a new reception child wouldn’t on their first day is 1) where the toilets are and 2) where the lunch hall is and they will be shown this and supported by adults the whole time. In reception they started going to the library and IT suite but that was new to everyone so no big deal for the newbies.

Echoing a PP, don’t let him see you’re anxious. I’m sure he’ll make loads of new friends and the teachers and support staff know what they’re doing. Best of luck!

@Fizzingsherbert you're right, that Facebook group is amazing. They helped us to get a delay granted for my eldest as he was a summer born with (mild) sen. Best thing we ever did for him. Youngest is also a summer born, but was more than ready to start at four and has now overtaken DS1 in a lot of ways. They are only a year apart at school.

Unless they are a summer born (who could have started last Sept no reception child legally has to be in school until January (for those with birthdays this term).

Do what you feel is right and just put him in for half days for a few weeks if you feel that's is best or take him out for a day if it's too much for him.

Look up summer born Facebook group for support if needed.

My son is also starting this September. No one from his nursery attends the school and we only decided to send him there a few weeks ago (long story, but related to lack of transition communication provided by original school). He has SEN/ delayed emotional development and has an EHCP.

The school has offered (to all Reception children, not just SEN children):

• Zoom parent meeting last term
• Teacher home visit in first week of term
• Attending 9-12 second week of term

-Attending 9-1.30 for a further three days before starting full time if ready.

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

On my daughter's first day I remember crying to DH and saying 'how will they know she's the most important one waaaah!'

You get used to it fast.

Oh, we always know that! They are all the most important one. But especially yours.

My DS who has just turned five had a 15 minute one on one visit in June to the school to see his classroom and meet his teacher. Normally all the class would go in for about 40 minutes but due to Covid they all went in individually. He is starting the week after next and finishing at 11.30 for the first two weeks as then it goes to the normal time of 1.10 finish. I'm in Ireland so I think we have shorter days anyway

@SamsMumsCateracts
We have also deferred our summer born son to this September!

Be aware that there has been such a gigantic clusterfuck of ‘guidance’ from the government regarding issues like this that many schools - especially those who are due Ofsted - are erring on the side of caution.

You can argue that it’s only guidance, that X school are doing this that and the other but at the end of the day it takes a brave (and possibly foolish) head that ignores statutory guidance and risks the wrath of other parents, the local authority/MAT and Ofsted.

OP, please call your child’s school the day before they are due in. It’s an inset, staff will be there and they WILL listen to your worries. A phone call gives so much more information than a form.

I actually think that the no parents hanging around will be much better for most of the children. adding so many adults all (understandably!) fussing around makes it so much harder for many children to get in.

Schools are doing the best they can at a tough time. Some time together on the playground the week before makes a lot of sense to give a chance to familiarise a bit

This is school, not nursery.
Be positive--he will be fine.

I think this is normal for covid times, unfortunately. My ds starts reception this year and all he has is a 30 minute meeting with the teacher, which isn't even in the school. My older DC is already at the school and there was so much more on offer when she started. However I know that it is a great school and they are doing their best.

Can you post on a local Facebook page and arrange some outdoor playdates with his classmates before he starts?