My MIL keeps asking if we have had sex 🤢

[Tink2007]

Literally as in the title. I’m due our baby soon and she has asked three times in the last week if husband (her son) and I have had sex yet.

Now personally it creeps me out being asked that and makes sex the last thing I want to do and husband has told her it’s weird her asking to which she just laughed and said “you’re my son”. She has asked again today and it is just weirding me out.

She never asked with any of our other children 🤢

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

My nan asked me constantly when I was overdue about how much sex we were having to get the baby out.

My old granny could have talked/joked with me about this, because we had that kind of a relationship and could talk openly and honestly to each other since my childhood. Likewise my mum.

MiL - no. We don't have that history, she's not the woman I ran to when I had my first period, it's not appropriate and I'd tell her politely but very firmly that it isn't appropriate. I also agree with PPs' points that if this is out of the blue and completely inconsistent with her character then it might be a cause for concern which needs watching.

Hope all goes well with the impending birth.

[SunshineCake]

@Tink2007

All your comments are making me laugh and feel less nauseous so thank you for that 🤣

Hopefully someone will post something really funny and set off labour for real. No more inappropriate sex questions and you get your baby. Win win.

[spacehoppered]

Have we the same MIL???

It's creepy. I think it's quite often for effect, or trying to be the 'cool' in-law/mum and demonstrate how they're not prudish, or trying to fake an over sharing close relationship.

Mine always would ask after we stayed if she "needed to change the sheets" with a nudge nudge wink (I'm concerned that maybe sheets weren't changed between guests now 😂)
She always comments on what's good or not good for the 'marital bed' late nights, separate bedtimes, kids coming in at night etc. Same thing with the "but your my son" line.
Recently she really tried to find out about my sexual history?! I met DH in my late teens, but really creepy wanting to know what I was doing as a teen.

[LJenn]

YOU get in there first next time. Pretend you're in pain and when she asks what's wrong .. well this is kinda embarrassing (mother's name) but .. I was riding your sons d**k for hours last night. I have horrendous friction burn today. Then if she says anything you can reply.. yeah inappropriate isn't it?🤷🏻‍♀️

[Plussizejumpsuit]

I thought in the op she was asking uf you've had sex like at all yet! Which is very odd but also where did she think the baby came from?! My strange reading of the issue aside this is so bizzare. Yanbu to feel uncomfortable and like you might actually never want to have sex again.

Even if she believes it brings on labour she could just drop a hint and say she's heard sex can bring it on. Also baby can't stay in there forever so although I'm sure if you're overdue it feels like you want it done with, there's no need to hurry Labour along. Eeeek

[SunshineCake]

@Winterwoollies

My FIL asks stupid shit like this, but only to me and only when MIL and my H can’t hear. He’s quite predatory and I think enjoys making me uncomfortable. We do not get on. He’s said and asked some appalling things in the past. Ugh. Fucking weirdos, the lot of them.

Please address this . Disgusting.

[FunTimes2020]

@formerbabe

Genuine question...do you think she could perhaps have some form of dementia? Just seems odd that she never asked this before and has now started.

There's always one...

[runningonemptyfulloflove]

I'd say "yes, in fact just before you arrived we had it on the sofa right where you are sitting. He's a fantastic lover you should be very proud"

[Yankathebear]

Just answer a simple ‘yes’ to shut her up

[GisAFag]

Go in to detail about s&m stuff that'll shut her up.

[Happynow001]

@Winterwoollies

My FIL asks stupid shit like this, but only to me and only when MIL and my H can’t hear. He’s quite predatory and I think enjoys making me uncomfortable. We do not get on. He’s said and asked some appalling things in the past. Ugh. Fucking weirdos, the lot of them.

Oh God - that's grim!! I'd either tell your husband AND your FIL's wife or (more probably) have your phone on record next time they leave you alone with him and play it back to them. Old pervert!

[threecee]

Why on earth would you post somrthing like this on Mumsnet ?

[blibbka]

Blimey -I think I'd definitely want to politely but firmly set a boundary there. I think you have to be prepared with a line next time she asks.

If it was me that'd be something like: "I really don't like being asked questions like that. It's very personal and - in the nicest possible way - none of your business. Please don't ask me again."

[Heffalooomia]

why are you letting her get away with this shit?
take back the power and humiliate her back

[wigglerose]

I guess saying "Evidently" with a glance at your stomach and your other children and a raised eyebrow won't hack it.
Apart from that my response would be: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH no MIL WHAT ARE YOU ASKING US?

[BeingLonely]

Say yes. Say yep he did me over every counter and unit. Oh! And right where your sitting! See if that changes her attitude

[Branleuse]

cant you tell her that surely at this stage of pregnancy she realises that youve had sex, as thats what causes it. As for times and dates, youd prefer to keep that private

[malificent7]

This is so funny!

[Blackbear19]

@ContessaferJones

Tell her you're worried she has dementia as it is so fucking inappropriate of her to ask. If she doesn't have it, that will shut her right up!

That is the best answer yet.

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

Genuine question...do you think she could perhaps have some form of dementia?

I wondered this too.

[hoistbymyownzombiepetard]

@threecee

Why on earth would you post somrthing like this on Mumsnet ?

Why shouldn't she - it's not like she has posted her MILs passport photo and address?

Several people seem to have missed the point that OP is at the end of her pregnancy - having sex is believed (by some) to bring on labour, so whilst MIL is being wildly inappropriate she isn't just randomly popping round to ask if they have had sex although she sort of is

[Jaichangecentfoisdenom]

I'm another who wonders if she might have dementia as she never mentioned this with your other pregnancies (it took me years to realise my mother had dementia because most of the time she made sense, it was just out of context and I lived far away from her and mostly only talked on the phone so didn't know what was happening to her). In any case, I would just say "are you on glue" or another of the obvious MN cuttingly appropriate responses Or "none of your business" might work?
Good luck when you finally have the baby!

[Newfornow]

I’d say yes ... nine months ago ...duh 🙄!

[Fromthebirdsnest]

That’s really inappropriate, tell her it makes you uncomfortable and to please not ask you again x

[Pandacub7]

Tell her you’re the Virgin Mary and have NEVER had sex