Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that I could have been in danger and that my boss should have taken this more seriously?

110 replies

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 20/08/2020 20:00

This is probably going to be very long! This happened this afternoon and I’m quite shaken up and still trying to make sense of it all, so apologies if this appears jumbled.

Part of my job involves taking photos of houses before they go on the market. Today I was asked by my boss to go round to an address to do just that. I have recently resumed doing this part of my job, with PPE. Boss had spoken to the owner, who was expecting me. I went round, knocked on the door, which was opened by an older (ish) man. I introduced myself, the workplace I’m from, and why I’d come round. He appeared quite confused, and said he was expecting someone else from a different kind of company entirely. I could see into the house as we were standing in the porch, and I could see bare floorboards, a sleeping bag in the corner, and rubbish littered about. I was starting a feel a bit uneasy as his reaction was a combination of hostile and confused.

I apologised, said that perhaps there had been a mix up and that I would go back to the car (parked literally dead opposite the house) and call my boss to sort it out. At this point he said ‘no, no need for that’, reached behind me, and LOCKED the outer door, leaving me locked in the porch with him with the door to the house open behind him. I was quite scared to find myself locked in with him, and this obviously came across because he then said ‘it’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you.’

I called my boss, while the man paced up and down the living room. He was right there in the room, and had just locked me in, and was being hostile, so I didn’t feel that I could tell my boss that I didn’t feel comfortable. He spoke to my boss using my phone and eventually begrudgingly agreed that I could do what I came there to do. I whizzed round the downstairs as quickly as I could, taking the worst photos ever, thinking that compliance might put me in less danger and get me out quicker. He followed me round the house silently the whole time, and twice repeated that he wouldn’t hurt me.

I went to leave, praying that he’d unlock the door without a fuss, and he reminded me that I ‘forgot’ to take photos of upstairs. I told him that we already had some from the last time the property was sold, but he insisted and in my now very panicked state I thought it was better to avoid an argument. As we walked up the stairs with him right behind me, he suddenly said ‘I can see why you wouldn’t want to go up the stairs in a strange man’s house though.’ Upstairs I took a few more blurry photos, trying not to turn my back on him at all, he didn’t seem to notice that I wasn’t doing it properly. Upstairs, there was no bathroom suite, just a toilet and a long white marble effect worktop in the bathroom which added to the general bizarreness. I rushed back downstairs and did a fake cheery, ‘ok cheerio then, all done here, boss will email you soon’, all the time my heart was thumping like crazy. Thankfully, he then unlocked the door for me, and then stood and watched me drive off up the road.

I drove back to work and recounted what happened, I was really quite shaken up by it. I wasn’t hurt but it could have worked out so differently. The man clearly knew I was uncomfortable and didn’t stop or apologise. My boss thought it was funny!!! He literally laughed and said ‘yeah I could tell on the phone that you were freaked out.’ That was all that was said about.

AIBU to think that I could have been in danger here and that my boss should have reacted differently, and had a proper contingency plan in place. Apologies that this is so long!

OP posts:
OoohTheStatsDontLie · 20/08/2020 20:07

I'm not sure he could have done much differently at the time, and I also think you have a duty to avoid any situation where you feel uncomfortable. What would you actually have liked him to do? Would it have been close enough for him to pop round before you were finished to check you were ok?

What may be a good idea is to chat again to him and say how uncomfortable you found it and it made you wonder about contingency plans for when you may be in danger. Clarify that if you ever feel you're in danger that you won't be penalised for leaving. Make sure your company has a loan worker policy and that everyone knows what it is. Maybe introduce a couple of key code words or phrases or texts eg 1 = call the police 2 = come round now 3= call me back in 10 if I haven't texted again. Point out that under corporate manslaughter rules he could be put in prison / fined if something happened to you and the court deemed he hasn't taken reasonable precautions

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 20/08/2020 20:08

Ask him if he thinks the Suzie Lamplugh case is funny. There need to be exit strategies for these situations or you can get things called solo protect or identicom devices for lone working that connect to a call centre who listen in if you activate it and call police if necessary

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 20/08/2020 20:11

@OoohTheStatsDontLie

I'm not sure he could have done much differently at the time, and I also think you have a duty to avoid any situation where you feel uncomfortable. What would you actually have liked him to do? Would it have been close enough for him to pop round before you were finished to check you were ok?

What may be a good idea is to chat again to him and say how uncomfortable you found it and it made you wonder about contingency plans for when you may be in danger. Clarify that if you ever feel you're in danger that you won't be penalised for leaving. Make sure your company has a loan worker policy and that everyone knows what it is. Maybe introduce a couple of key code words or phrases or texts eg 1 = call the police 2 = come round now 3= call me back in 10 if I haven't texted again. Point out that under corporate manslaughter rules he could be put in prison / fined if something happened to you and the court deemed he hasn't taken reasonable precautions

Thank you for your post, some very helpful advice! It was close enough for my boss to have come to check, but I more meant afterwards. There are absolutely no back up plans in place, and no safe words. I’ve never seen a lone worker policy. I’m going to ask about all these things tomorrow.
OP posts:
SewingWarriorQueen76 · 20/08/2020 20:12

Find your sexist arsehole of a boss the story of Susie Lamplugh, perhaps he's too young to remember it. www.suzylamplugh.org/

It's not funny, its wrong that a client locked you in.
For what it's worth, you did the right thing.
Hope you are feeling better now.

whoknowswhichwayisup · 20/08/2020 20:12

This is awful. I think you need to suggest a new policy to your boss. I worked in a job where we did home visits. We had to text the boss the address we were entering as we arrived (boss didn't need to read or anything). Then, if we needed to, we would call and say a code phrase. Ours was something like 'I've just remembered I forgot to send an email to xyz, would you be able to do that for me?' And boss would then call the police (and they'd have the address as you had just texted them).

shoofly · 20/08/2020 20:14

Honestly I'd be raging. Ask him if you'd become the next Suzie Lamplugh would he find it so bloody hilarious.

He needs to wise up, grow up and put some proper procedures in place to keep his staff, ie you...Safe

YorkshireTeaIsTheBest · 20/08/2020 20:19

You need a safe phrase -can I just confirm my meeting at 4pm etc. Chilling. I can see why you were worried - locking the front door isn't an issue for him maybe -he is protecting his house whilst you look around -although I can see why you were worried neither is following you around for insurance reasons etc. But clearly it was for you. But maybe lone workers need a better insurance in your place at work. ie text when you are there photo of outside. Regular check in during visit. And text when you leave.

PleasantVille · 20/08/2020 20:21

I'm be annoyed about that too, it sounds quite scarey.

Is there some kind of app you could get for your phone that sends a message or asks for a co-worker to come to you if you feel in danger? You'd think there must be ways to deal with this, do most house sales staff work alone? It must happen all the time.

Definitely ask to see the appropriate policies.

RunningFromInsanity · 20/08/2020 20:21

You need to have a lone worker policy.
We have a very strict policy with a ‘buddy’ system that we give the full address and estimated finished time too.

We also have personal alarms that have a gps tracker and can be triggered silently or loudly or can silently phone a specific number and allow that person to hear what is going on (and get help if necessary)
Also small things like leaving shoes on and keeping all belongings on us in case we have to make a quick exit.

We are also told to leave immediately if we do not feel comfortable, and we would never continue on a visit if we got locked in.

In that situation I would have stated that policy means doors have to be kept unlocked, if he refused I would have unlocked the door and walked out.

My boss would have be very supportive of any action I had taken. She is female though so maybe that’s the difference?

Either way, what happened to you was not ok.

hastingsmua1 · 20/08/2020 20:24

I’m not trying to be nasty, but I think if I was in that situation I’d text my boss that I felt really unsafe (as you couldn’t say it out loud) or I’d insist the creepy guy lets me out; if he didn’t, I’d call the police or again text for help.

I think you were in a really dangerous situation by continuing with the tour as at any point, he could have turned nasty.

Your boss might not have understood the full severity of the situation but at the same time, he needs to consider staff safety more too. It doesn’t seem like he has a protocol in place, and he really shouldn’t be laughing this off

Bargebill19 · 20/08/2020 20:26

Jesus that is incredibly bad and very poor practice. Yes to everything everyone else has suggested. Failing that set yourself something up with a trusted co worker such as Leaving details of where you are going and a safe text to send if you need help urgently. Such as “can you collect kids” when you don’t have any.

AdoptAdaptImprove · 20/08/2020 20:29

I have a job where I do similar, and your story is setting my hair on end! Have you had proper Lone Worker Training? If not, your employer is negligent in asking you to work alone in people’s houses.

There are very good strategies for dealing with this sort of situation and none of them involve ploughing on when you feel uncomfortable, and you should never have been in a position where you could be locked in a house by another person. Your employer has a duty of care to you.

We have clear training, the absolute knowledge that we never have to begin or continue a site visit where something feels ‘off’, Our colleagues have access to all our movements, including the name and mobile number of the person we are meeting, and if that person isn’t there, the visit is off. We also have a buddy system so we can be checked on and someone is alerted if we don’t return when expected.

Anything less than all of this (which comes from The Suzy Lamplugh Trust‘s work) and your employer doesn’t know what they’re doing. Be very wary of continuing to work for such a person.

hastingsmua1 · 20/08/2020 20:37

I know the police are likely to find that no crime occurred, but it might be worth telling 101 via live chat. I think his behaviour warrants it.

It’s his insistence that he wouldn’t try to hurt you (or that he wouldn’t want to be stuck in with a strange man) coupled with locking you in, which I find bizarre. It was completely unprompted, it makes you think “are you trying to hurt me?”. Why did he lock you in?

It sort of comes across like a serial killer jokingly telling people to get in his car as he wouldn’t want the victims to be caught by this killer; whilst he in fact is the killer. Like it’s a weird thing to joke about, he’s way too comfortable - has he done this before?

catsarecute · 20/08/2020 20:39

YANBU. So pleased you are safe. As others have said, look up the Suzy Lamplugh Trust. I do lone working to people's houses as part of my job, and did training with the Suzy Lamplugh trust years ago, it was excellent. You need a lone working plan in place to keep you safe.

LakieLady · 20/08/2020 20:42

This is appallingly bad practice.

I don't do home visits any more, but when I did we had a similar device to the one @RunningFromInsanity describes. It's like a keyfob, so you can have it on your keyring and it doesn't look like a security device. It has an SOS button that enables a control centre to hear what's going on and call police if that's an appropriate response. It's linked to GPS, so your location can be identified. (Our system is called Skyguard, and each fob is around £100, so not a huge expense in the overall scheme of things)

We also have the location of all out of office appointments in our Outlook calendars, so anyone can see where you are and when you should be back. And all staff have training in dealing with tricky situations and challenging clients.

I worked as an estate agent for about 3 years, until about a year before Suzy Lamplugh disappeared. When I think about all the times I went on unaccompanied appointments it makes my blood run cold.

I think your boss's reaction was totally inappropriate. All employers have a duty of care when it comes to the safety of their staff. He needs to understand this, and put a lone working policy in place.

You were put in an awful position. I hope you're ok.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2020 20:48

You should be very upset with your boss, however I do think you need to reflect upon your own behaviour and how you handled this situation. You should have not gone into that home, and you definitely shouldn't have gone upstairs. You should have called the police immediately from the porch when he locked you in. Screamed your head off, whatever you needed to to get out of there. I know you were confused and panicked, but this is why we need to be mentally prepared for troubling situations before we find ourselves in them, in so far as much as we can be, of course. This man made you extremely nervous and uncomfortable, yet you still allowed yourself to be made even more vulnerable. I'm very glad nothing tragic happened.

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 20/08/2020 20:50

Thank you all so much for your advice. You are all totally right of course. I’m not actually an estate agent, I work for a tiny photography company who occasionally works with one particular (independent) estate agency. Which is maybe why the policies are not clear and there is no safe word type system in place. I’m not excusing it in any way, but hopefully workplaces that require going into homes more frequently than mine does have better systems. Anyway, thank you all again. I’m going to have a chat with my boss next week.

OP posts:
DarkDarkNight · 20/08/2020 20:50

Your manager needs to take this more seriously. Is it a chain of estate agents or a local business? There really should be a lone worker policy and risk assessments for situations like this.

Therollockingrogue · 20/08/2020 20:52

Op that is so awful. You must have been absolutely terrified.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 20/08/2020 20:59

YADNBU this sounds absolutely terrifying and l really hope you are ok and getting over the ordeal. We teach our daughters to trust their gut instinct and we must do the same. Definitely try and get a new policy in place.

growinggreyer · 20/08/2020 21:12

Bloody hell, I would have been ringing 999. I am giviny you permission to scream and bang on the door, hit, punch and scratch him to get away. All the rules of politeness go out of the window when you are in danger of being raped or murdered.

Raven20 · 20/08/2020 21:13

Sounds scary . Poor you !

MeredithGreysScalpel · 20/08/2020 21:13

Your workplace needs a lone worker policy. In my work, we have a ‘password’ that if we call back to the office and use that word, they know we need help.

growinggreyer · 20/08/2020 21:14

You could also try the police to see if they will speak to the old guy about false imprisonment. Maybe having a couple of PCs rock up at his door to question him will give him a fright.

WhatTheFuckHappenedHere · 20/08/2020 21:16

It’s his insistence that he wouldn’t try to hurt you (or that he wouldn’t want to be stuck in with a strange man) coupled with locking you in, which I find bizarre. It was completely unprompted, it makes you think “are you trying to hurt me?”. Why did he lock you in?

@hastingsmua1 This is exactly what I thought.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread