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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest that half a baguette is enough?

333 replies

CoralFish · 18/08/2020 15:29

Preparing a super-healthy (not really) lunch for me and DP of pork pie, cheddar cheese and that bread that comes part baked from the supermarket.

I comment that the bread is packaged as two small baguettes together, so I will have to freeze one once opened. DP says he "could have" a whole baguette. I ask him if he really wants a whole one - we normally share one. He says the same thing again. I read out the suggested serving and calories and say if he really wants a whole one I can freeze half of one, as I definitely don't. He goes off in a huff because I have apparently called him greedy and he only wants half. I cook one baguette.

My point is that at no point did he say he wanted a whole one just that he "could have" a whole one. I thought this was just a suggestion to make it easier wrt freezing.

Me checking the suggested portion size and calories was for myself. I concluded I did not want a whole one, so him having one would make no difference to ease of storage. Admittedly I did not explicitly state this, and I did not need to read it aloud to him, but I was labouring under the misapprehension that he was making a suggestion to try to make things easier, not that he actually wanted a whole one. I did not at any point use the word greedy or mean to imply it.

Was the whole thing just a misunderstanding on both our parts (and he should at the very least snap out of his huff), or am I being unreasonable and should apologise for 'calling him greedy'?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 19/08/2020 09:27

Yes but that's not enough to immediately mention asd here is it

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/08/2020 09:28

Everyone on mn has ASD according to everyone on mn.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 19/08/2020 09:32

I don't know why the professionals take so long to diagnose ASD when some on MN can do it from reading a paragraph Confused

purpleme12 · 19/08/2020 09:34

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Everyone on mn has ASD according to everyone on mn.
Yes I've never understood why people Chuck out so many names of conditions for the people here from an unrelated post on here. Completely baffling
doityourselfnow · 19/08/2020 09:35

I don't know why the professionals take so long to diagnose ASD when some on MN can do it from reading a paragraph

Yep, it's a mystery!

Along with being able to call out the DP as being lazy for not putting the second baguette in the packet of two in the oven himself!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/08/2020 09:35

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I don't know why the professionals take so long to diagnose ASD when some on MN can do it from reading a paragraph Confused
#miracleshappen #praisedbe
bruffin · 19/08/2020 09:39

All I said was that if he wanted something extra then he had the ability to get it himself.
He wasnt asking for something different, just something out of the same packet that is cooked the same, so no extra effort to the person preparing the meal.Its not like OP is expected to go down the shop and buy another one.
If i decided to have egg on toast for lunch. DH wants 2 eggs on 2 slices and I want one egg on one slice. If im cooking would you expect dh to cook his extra egg and toast seperately. How about a little common sense and cook them all together. Its exactly the same scenario.

scubadive · 19/08/2020 09:46

Poor communication but they are not huge and men need more daily calories then women do not really reasonable for you to have the same. He was clearly suggesting he wanted a whole one. Perhaps you should have cooled both and cling filmed any left overs. It wouldn’t really work freezing once opened.

Redolent · 19/08/2020 10:25

Mock all you want, but ASD is definitely a possibility. That penultimate paragraph is a huge red flag.

doityourselfnow · 19/08/2020 10:36

Mock all you want, but ASD is definitely a possibility.

So is passive aggressive behaviour!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/08/2020 10:42

@doityourselfnow

Mock all you want, but ASD is definitely a possibility.

So is passive aggressive behaviour!

😂 boom
Redolent · 19/08/2020 10:45

@doityourselfnow

Mock all you want, but ASD is definitely a possibility.

So is passive aggressive behaviour!

Of course it is. So is narcissism and sociopathy and all the other things people here diagnose all the time. My curiosity was with the OP’s painstaking logical explanation which completely betrayed a lack of social awareness.
Shamp · 19/08/2020 10:47

Mock all you want, but ASD is definitely a possibility. That penultimate paragraph is a huge red flag.
I don't remember passive aggressiveness about a baguette being part of my asd diagnosis. Ridiculous to throw out the suggestion of asd based on the ops posts.

Redolent · 19/08/2020 10:53

@Shamp

Mock all you want, but ASD is definitely a possibility. That penultimate paragraph is a huge red flag. I don't remember passive aggressiveness about a baguette being part of my asd diagnosis. Ridiculous to throw out the suggestion of asd based on the ops posts.
Your diagnosis.

If OP seriously cannot comprehend that ‘I could have a baguette’ means ‘I want a baguette’ then there’s a problem there. As is the convoluted and overly-logical explanation of what is a patently trivial matter.

Or we could just continue having a jolly and saying that the OP is an absurdly sad and controlling individual who needs to get a hobby. Maybe, maybe not, maybe both.

Shamp · 19/08/2020 10:56

And everyone else's diagnosis.

You cannot throw out asd on this smidgen of info on a tiny part of ops life, it's ridiculous.

Asd is thrown out as a possibility for literally any shitty behaviour on mumsnet, fucking ridiculous.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/08/2020 10:57

I would think food control issues rather than ASD...

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 19/08/2020 11:00

Explain things clearly - ASD diagnosis.

Doesn't explain things clearly - accused of drip feeding.

unmarkedbythat · 19/08/2020 11:19

Wft are some of you up to, diagnosing OP on the basis of a MN post? Either you're unqualified to do so, so shouldn't be as your opinion on whether or not OP has ASD is about as relevant on mine on whether or not the BoE should raise interest rates, or you are qualified, in which you've lost touch with how assessment and diagnosis works if you think you can do it here on the basis of a handful of paragraphs by OP.

Scautish · 19/08/2020 13:18

@unmarkedbythat

TBF I think it is only one poster that has diagnosed the OP on basis of her baguette consumption preferences.

But you have summed up perfectly why no-one on MN should ever feel they are entitled to diagnose ASD; if you’re qualified HCP then you know much, much, much, more information is required, if you’re not qualified then your opinion is worth fuck all. But there are so many entitled armchair diagnosers on MN that it will be a long time before we see this immensely frustrating (and ableist) narrative stop.

ilovemygirls · 19/08/2020 17:49

I would’ve asked for 1.5 baguettes & another pork pie! Why is this such an issue??!

lboogy · 19/08/2020 17:54

Did the OP say whether it was one of those long Baguettes? If so that's a lot of calories. If it's just the one that's as long as a forearm from elbow to wrist then it's still a lot but I could consume one of those if really hungry

lockeddownandcrazy · 19/08/2020 18:06

They are so cheap just cook both and stop controlling him - he is your hubby not a child, he can decide if he wants a whole baguette FFS.

Suebreo · 19/08/2020 18:13

He want a whole one, food policing idiot

QueSera · 19/08/2020 18:16

It really sounds like you were policing his food. Otherwise why didn't you just cook him a whole baguette after he first said he wanted one?
They're not very large OP, it's totally reasonable to want a whole one. I feel sorry for your DH. Maybe try to loosen up - on the food policing, and the petty arguing.

rosieb060 · 19/08/2020 18:17

Sounds like YABU, to be honest.

I'd be really upset if someone did that to me.