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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to suggest that half a baguette is enough?

333 replies

CoralFish · 18/08/2020 15:29

Preparing a super-healthy (not really) lunch for me and DP of pork pie, cheddar cheese and that bread that comes part baked from the supermarket.

I comment that the bread is packaged as two small baguettes together, so I will have to freeze one once opened. DP says he "could have" a whole baguette. I ask him if he really wants a whole one - we normally share one. He says the same thing again. I read out the suggested serving and calories and say if he really wants a whole one I can freeze half of one, as I definitely don't. He goes off in a huff because I have apparently called him greedy and he only wants half. I cook one baguette.

My point is that at no point did he say he wanted a whole one just that he "could have" a whole one. I thought this was just a suggestion to make it easier wrt freezing.

Me checking the suggested portion size and calories was for myself. I concluded I did not want a whole one, so him having one would make no difference to ease of storage. Admittedly I did not explicitly state this, and I did not need to read it aloud to him, but I was labouring under the misapprehension that he was making a suggestion to try to make things easier, not that he actually wanted a whole one. I did not at any point use the word greedy or mean to imply it.

Was the whole thing just a misunderstanding on both our parts (and he should at the very least snap out of his huff), or am I being unreasonable and should apologise for 'calling him greedy'?

OP posts:
Redolent · 19/08/2020 01:06

I think OP has undiagnosed ASD. Would certainly look into it.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 19/08/2020 01:43

I think OP has undiagnosed ASD

Jesus christ, based on what?

People love an armchair diagnosis on here.

lilylion · 19/08/2020 05:43

@Marmite27

Oh god we had this on Sunday. 1kg joint of beef for 2 adults, a pre-schooler and a toddler. I said it should do another meal in a pie.

DH piled his plate high and left 1 slice, he said he wanted to enjoy it, I’d spoiled it and he put it back. No DH you were being a greedy fucker and we’re embarrassed when called on it. He lost some weight early lock down and has put it all back on plus. He has a very obvious belly and is unhappy with it. I was actually flabbergasted at the amount of meat he had on his plate! He’s using my fitness pal and my usual comment if he looks to be indulging too much is, ‘does that fit
Ok into your calories for the day?’ But I couldn’t stop myself. As I also pointed out it was an abysmal example to the children too.

You know what’s an abysmal example for your children?

Making nasty comments about and to someone who’s put on weight.

jessstan2 · 19/08/2020 06:40

I think those bake-at-home baguettes (reminds me I have two that are 'best before' 17th, wonder if they'll be OK), are not very big. Half a one wouldn't be enough for most people. It does seem like a trivial thing to make a thread about though (but we've all joined in :-)).

Bluntness100 · 19/08/2020 06:58

I’m not sure what is funnier, eating a calorie laden lunch of pork pie and cheese and then worrying about the calories in half a baguette, or the poster who maintains a couple aren’t permitted to make lunch for one another because she doesn’t want to back down from her original point🤣🤣🤣

Covert19 · 19/08/2020 07:03

At least 90% of my arguments with DH are caused by hunger. This led to the immortalisation of this exchange in family lore:

H: “I can’t believe we’re arguing over a tin of beans”
W: “It’s not about beans. It’s about your attitude!”

I expect hunger and feeling policed led to your man’s flounce.

IamTomHanks · 19/08/2020 07:10

I can't believe everyone is saying the OP had no right to police her DH's eating. And the gluttony of eating a whole baguette.

The lack of fat-shaming is why there is an obesity crisis people!

We should all be out there making judgey comments to family, friends and strangers about what they are eating. How else will the NHS be saved, and I will be able to go to the beach without having to shield my eyes from the sight of fatties.

Shame MN. Shame.

Angry
doityourselfnow · 19/08/2020 07:12

I can't believe everyone is saying the OP had no right to police her DH's eating. And the gluttony of eating a whole baguette.

But it's ok for her to eat cheese and pork pie and half a baguette, but yeah it's really right that the half a baguette extra results in gluttony!

GrinGrinGrin

OP would need to look to herself first before attacking her DH!

doityourselfnow · 19/08/2020 07:13

We should all be out there making judgey comments to family, friends and strangers about what they are eating. How else will the NHS be saved, and I will be able to go to the beach without having to shield my eyes from the sight of fatties.

The last bit is easily solved.... don't go to the beach! Simple!

LaMarschallin · 19/08/2020 07:13

Genuine question: isn't it possible for everyone to see (and use) the "see all posts" option for the OP's posts?

She's made four posts and the outcome was that she's accepted she was BU and has apologised to her DH.
I doubt she's still reading this thread.

I appreciate that people can post what they like - within talk guidelines etc etc - but it seems a bit pointless now when the issue is apparently resolved; hence I'm not sure if the "see all posts" function is available in all formats (I don't mean prime or premium or whatever it is - I haven't got that).

IamTomHanks · 19/08/2020 07:16

But it's ok for her to eat cheese and pork pie and half a baguette

I'm sure that's all she would eat for a week and a half at least. Besides air and filtered water of course. Perfect amount.

IamTomHanks · 19/08/2020 07:17

The last bit is easily solved.... don't go to the beach! Simple!

But how else can I show off my perfect figure and impeccable eating and exercise habits? I owe it to society to go to the beach and glare at people eating fish and chips?

doityourselfnow · 19/08/2020 07:18

Ahh @IamTomHanks I think I missed the sarcasm in your original post Grin!

Heathcliff27 · 19/08/2020 07:22

@anon5000

Fucking hell, you were eating cheese and pork pie why worry about the calories in a whole baguette.
This
etherealbeauty · 19/08/2020 07:23

Honestly get a life....he was clearly saying he wanted a whole one.
I would feel suffocated as an adult living with someone so pedantic. It's a baguette lol.
Not a block of gold.

DocOfTheBay · 19/08/2020 07:26

OK OP, you have apologised - fair enough because you in effect went back and challenged him twice after he said he would have a whole one.

BUT

His continued annoyance and huffing is OTT.

TheTeenageYears · 19/08/2020 07:29

I never really understand it when couples are served the same amount. My DH weighs about 70% more than me and is male so is always going to need more fuel than me. I am a very light build for my height and he is a much stronger/heavier build without being overweight. The "average" charts of 2000 calories for a women and 2500 for a man really wouldn't be right in our house. At a medical 4 years ago DH was told for his height and build he needs 3600 calories of fuel a day. The recommendation isn't to eat the same real food as me at 2000 calories and add cakes and chocolate to make up the extra. The idea is to eat larger portions of all food groups and particularly protein to get those additional calories.

IamTomHanks · 19/08/2020 07:30

Ahh @IamTomHanks I think I missed the sarcasm in your original post grin!

Grin
PutThemInTheIronMaiden · 19/08/2020 07:33

Yet another thread that makes me so happy to be single. I can't imagine having to beg for a baguette. If I want one, I have one.

Lockheart · 19/08/2020 08:08

@Bluntness100

I’m not sure what is funnier, eating a calorie laden lunch of pork pie and cheese and then worrying about the calories in half a baguette, or the poster who maintains a couple aren’t permitted to make lunch for one another because she doesn’t want to back down from her original point🤣🤣🤣
Did I say they aren't permitted to make lunch for each other? No.

All I said was that if he wanted something extra then he had the ability to get it himself.

The only thing funny here is your lack of reading comprehension.

Lockheart · 19/08/2020 08:08

@PutThemInTheIronMaiden

Yet another thread that makes me so happy to be single. I can't imagine having to beg for a baguette. If I want one, I have one.
Exactly, so why didn't he just get one? Why all the fuss?
Hedgehog44 · 19/08/2020 08:10

I could easily eat a whole one Hmm

doityourselfnow · 19/08/2020 08:51

Love the fact you're still missing the point of the thread @Lockheart and insisting that he should've walked over to the baguettes, lifted one up, put it in the oven next door to the one that his DP had put in the oven,

This thread again is not about division of labour, it's about the passive aggressive, irritating of the OP. One she has agreed was wrong and had apologised for!

What do you keep trying to blame her DH for not making lunch? You do know that not Everyman is lazy, not every couple has issues splitting chores, not every couple are constantly not picking over who does what?

TBH if he'd had said "ok, I'll do my own then", you would've been unhappy with that as well? It would've been he's being childish when OP was already in control of lunch?

Do you have a particular reason to just want to see the man in the wrong on every occasion?

Redolent · 19/08/2020 09:03

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I think OP has undiagnosed ASD

Jesus christ, based on what?

People love an armchair diagnosis on here.

Read the penultimate paragraph of the OP.

A painstaking process of logical reasoning that fails to grasp other people’s beliefs, desires or intentions. Also known as mind blindness.

Redolent · 19/08/2020 09:21

^ To add to the above. OP’s inability to understand implicit meanings, idioms and turns of phrase - that ‘I could have’ actually means ‘I want’, in this instance. People with ASD often take things literally.