What has been the lowest point of your life?

[Mooooove]

Could be anything - money, job, relationships

I'm feeling low about the way my life has gone since the coronavirus. Job will be over end of September and i'm worried about money and competition to find another job with the recession.

Now.
Will have been married 30 years in September but feel as if there is a chasm between us.
It was all OK [well, fairly OK] until he sold his business and retired 3 years ago. Since then I've felt like second fiddle to his ex-clients/friends who he keeps in touch with all the time. I know them all too [I worked with him] but he doesn't share anything with me from his text messages or WhatsApps. If we bump into any of them he invariable has to say to me 'Oh, I forgot to tell you that' when they chat about their lives.
But NO you didn't forget - you chose not to share it with me!!!!
I feel so excluded.

It's probably worse because he never bloody remembers anything I say to him but seems to have instant recall with all these others...

30 bloody years - and for what?

My father dying aged 67 when I was 17
My infertility - many years of treatments but never any success not even a positive test. Got through that and now have a nice life with DH.

My mother developing dementia and eventually needing to go into a home.

My best wishes and to everyone on this thread.

A few tbh:

Teens: Abused physically & emotionally but my mums boyfriend who she allowed to do, it by ignoring & pretending it didn't t happen

Late 20s: Husband leaving me after I miscarried and after I'd moved to a completely new city to live with him where I knew nobody, he also owed (still owes) me thousands

30s: A stillbirth & subsequent diagnosis of incurable disease (manageable long term)

40s: Ex leaving me & our son when DS was 2

Oh & the senior colleague sexually assaulting me after exH left whilst I was at most vulnerable (I was drunk)

Probably right now. I've had MH issues in the past, and losing my DM was so so awful, but i dont remember feeling as horrendous as I do now.

In a controlling abusive relationship, severely underweight and told I was fat and unable to keep the prescription painkillers I needed in the house because he would steal them. I was so anxious that every time I ate I would have awful crippling stomach pains. I have a memory of being sick with pain and anxiety huddled against a plug in heater trying to get warm whilst he raged at me. I was worn down and exhausted by it, I felt numb and dissociated from the world.
I LTB and I'm happy, healthy and got my sparkle back. I have a great husband, job I love, master's degree, see my friends regularly and have a warm cosy home.

My dad dying then my mum being diagnosed with cancer and also dying just 6 months later.
3 years on I'm still desperately sad but have learned to live without them.
It was all so unexpected

Mum dying when I was in my 20's, teenage Dd diagnosed with depression after telling me she had nothing to live for and now watching my Df aged 93 slowly declining and becoming frail and needy and a shadow of his former self.

Sending virtual hugs to all

I think after my 3rd miscarriage
I had a baby already but I desperately wanted her to have a sibling.
I have had other hard times in my life but nothing beat the roller coaster awfulness of repeatedly trying and failing to sustain a pregnancy. I would have all the hassle of trying, get all the morning sickness and the anxiety and then I would start to bleed and to go through that physical and emotional pain 3 times nearly finished me.
I was not myself. I was a total wreck, a shit wife, colleague and a shit mum to the child I did have.
I only did it a 4th time because DH begged me. By then I felt numb and I assumed it would fail again
It didn't and DS is such a joy that it was nearly all worth it.

The last 5 years have been fairly depressing. Starting with baby DD1 dying, marriage troubles, depresssion, another child being diagnosed with epilepsy, me being diagnosed with autoimmune diseases and suffering ill health, unemployment, lack of
Fulfilment and no direction in my life, lack of choices and more marriage problems, sense of existing rather than living.

I’d like to turn it around but where to start? An uptick in health would be useful and a job and a move, all seem like impossibilities.

@defendervank yes I remarried too. But life has persisted
In getting worse and worse. I could take up the whole thread with the awful things that have happened since, but it all started when I left my first husband and it’s been downhill from there.

My partner taking his own life aged 25.
Losing my son at 15 weeks' gestation.
Both my parents simultaneously deteriorating with dementia.
Spending 4 months in hospital with my daughter as she fought for her life after being born 14 weeks prematurely.

Right now I would say.
I don’t want to put why though as it’s too outing.

It honestly feels like I’m drowning

I have 2....my mum and dad dying 4 months apart when i was 26.......and then my husband leaving me when i was 39 with 3 kids....i have never felt so alone.

The winter of 2011/2012 for me. Jobless, single, had to move back in with parents, on the dole. Six stressful months later I had a new job, a room in a house share, and I met my now DH.

Grew up in abusive household.

Got pregnant at 19 and kept the baby, (dad didn't want to know) moved in with a friend when she was born who threw me out when she was 4 weeks old, ended up with PND

Moved to temporary accommodation and mum died 2 weeks later, had to deal with all her funeral arrangements and affairs by myself.

Grandad died 3 months after my mum died (her dad)

I was very depressed for a long time but now have a lovely flat, lovely partner, job I enjoy and another lovely new baby ☺️

We all need to remember to be proud of ourselves more.

I am doing much better but don't think I'll ever be totally healthy in my head.

Hang in there @Jellybeansincognito

Hugs to everyone, so awful to read all your stories x
For me my mum dying suddenly late last year. Nothing has ever hurt so much, I'm nowhere close to coming to terms with it but everyone expects you to.

to all
The due date of my first miscarriage and the months after my tfmr were my most depressed. I now have a lovely son so that’s all in the past.
March this year I was very anxious about Covid but not depressed. Funnily enough I have quite enjoyed lockdown!

Not getting a place at the university I had set my heart on (aged 17)

My first love relationship ending (aged 19)

First trimester with both DC - thrilled to be pregnant but terribly sick with hyperemisis, depressed and down and struggled to leave the house. It lifted by around 20 weeks both times.

Plus I think when I was very small (3 or 4) my mother lost my baby brother and there was a lot of depression and sadness in the house. But I don't have concrete memories of it really.

I know almost the exact moment I reached my lowest point, which was approximately 18:30 on April 6th 2017. That's when things finally got too much and I tried to take my own life. The 18 months or so proir to that were shit too but I've managed turn things around and I'm now pretty content with life.

At one point, I was having severe migraines with aura which then bought on a panic attack and months of derealisation disorder. I was also going through inflammatory arthritis which meant I was in constant pain, hobbling around with a stick in agony. I was only in my early 20s, and thought I had no future and was going mad to boot. Thankfully drugs sorted the arthritis and time/other drugs sorted the rest. Not a nice time however.

Standing next to my mums bed and hearing/seeing her take her last breath.
I was 49.
I’d give anything to have her back, I miss her with every beat of my heart, it hurts so much. I’ve never been able to remember what her voice sounded like since.
I know that one day my DD will go through this and that hurts too.

DC3 no longer being able to mask at school and was expelled somewhat publicly (and illegally- massively unmet SEN). Me having to give up my career to care for DC3. Dc2 being horrendously bullied because of their sibling. DC3 diagnosed as autistic and having learning disabilities which was one hell of a shock. And to top it all off, a PTSD diagnosis.
All this shittiness happened within 4 months.

Both dc are in different schools now.

2 very low points for me - My dad getting cancer and then dying - we were very close and then my childhood best friend ghosting me completely out of the blue, it literally took me 2 years to get over it as I felt so worthless