Confused by this conversation, does anyone have an idea what went wrong

[SkatingWithPenguins]

I’d just used the self scan machine at the library. It’s broken, you normally just pile up the books but at the moment you need to open them to scan the barcode inside. Everytime you scan it opens a meaningless error message too. You have to click the x to close it. Annoying, but it works.

I was talking to my friend, librarian just finished a shift and in uniform, her son isn’t well and we were probably very deep in conversation in a corner. Very angry woman cut across us and said ‘the machine doesn’t work!’. My friend was approached from behind and was a bit wrong-footed, had jumped out her skin in surprise and as collecting herself (it was like someone shouting ‘boo’ from behind it was so sudden and loud). So I just smiled and said
‘It works, it’s just playing up. You need to open each book individually And scan the barcode inside. It’ll give you error messages, but ignore them and close them. The books will still be counted’
She glared at me- ‘IT DOESNT WORK!’
I’m, ‘give it a try, just open them’
‘IT DOESNT WORK, I have tried‘
‘Did you open a book?‘
So she throws them, closed, onto the machine and angrily points at the error message.
So I just said, calmly ‘the books need opening’. She picked them up, still both closed, and started flinging them back down to raise her voice more.
My friend then starting offering to do it for her (not really meant to with Covid rules, but was trying to diffuse it). Got as far as ‘shall I do it for-‘
The women then screamed at her, I’m not standing here being told off by you! I feel like I’m being told off! I’m going to the desk!
The new librarian on the desk looked over worried, people are mean to use the machines right now. I didn’t stay to see how it panned out.

The machine does have a sign on it explained how to currently use it.

She was about 30, seemed well presented and otherwise normal.

It’s bugging me as I’m struggling how it went so wrong, how I ended up being shouted at in public. I was genuinely happy to help her use the machine that annoys me, no edge to my voice.

Perhaps she has mental health issues. It's not unreasonable to think others might be different to you and not 100% capable.

Ellisandra, you have a huge posting history in Aibu and nothing this year in chat, and barely before that. It DOES draw certain people.

I refuse to believe that anyone who uses library is the sort of person to regularly scream and shout in public. So I think she was having a bad day and was probably annoyed that she has to use a machine that doesn't work properly. And the staff are so aware that it doesn't work properly that they have made two little posters about it. Then she asked a librarian for help and some random person got involved in the conversation.
To address your question, what went wrong was you answered when she wasn't asking for a civilian's advice . It can easily be avoided in future by always deferring to the person in the logoed polo shirt.

Some people seem to panic if something isn't working the way they expect (especially if it's associated with technology). It's like a shutter comes down in their brain and they can't work through any problem-solving solutions. Sometimes it makes them really snappy.

When you work with the public, you come across people like this all the time. They aren't meaning to upset you and they're probably nice people usually.

If you can, I find that sorting their problem while they're ranting at you works most of the time. There's no point in explaining as their brain won't process it and they'll just get more upset.

They rarely apologise at the time once it's sorted - possibly embarrassment or still too worked up, but they occasionally come back later and say sorry they were having a bad day.

@SkatingWithPenguins
Very bad form.
You just lost any moral high ground you think you have.

I used to work in a library and encountered a lot of rude, ignorant people.
My favourite were the people who would dump a big pile of books on the desk in front of you and stand there glaring. So I would ask, "Are you taking these out, or returning them?"
"Yes"

Or the woman who put a pile of books on the counter and walked off. I checked and they were all on loan, so as she had left them, I returned them and they were put back on the shelf.
An hour later she came back, "Where are my books? I wanted to renew them."

@SkatingWithPenguins but a word to the (not so) wise. If you do an AS on me, I joined MN a fortnight ago. Except I didn't. I joined in October 2004.
I use different names in different sections and namechange often. I literally do not notice if I'm posting in AIBU or Chat as I find them pretty similar.

Opening gambit of harassed user :"this isn't working!"

Saying "it does work," is not going to make for a useful exchange ime.

If you want to get involved ahead of staff then sympathise with the current problem and explain the fix.

Maybe she had just had enough.....times are trying. It may have been the final straw.

She was clearly in the wrong to get so angry. But from her point of view you were really patronising and also a completely random person inserting yourself for no reason. I wouldn't want to 'return' books using a machine that gives me an error message on the say-so of a random member of the public, as I'd be worried that it was not, in fact, 'counting' them back in and so they'd become overdue.

While it's not the library's fault - I know they have huge resourcing constraints - it is pretty crap to insist that people can only return books using the machine, unassisted (which is inevitably going to be challenging for some people anyway) when the machine is broken and requires a non-intuitive workaround, and I can see why she was frustrated by it.

Finally, are you actually supposed to be using the library for a long heart-to-heart with a friend at the moment? My local one has a very restricted list of uses and it does seem a bit irritating from a customer perspective if staff won't help you check in books but will have long chats in huddles in corners.

She was unreasonable but tbh I feel rather harassed out and about these days.

She wasnt reasonable but a reaction like that probably points to that shes having a stressful time or a bad day.

Always excuses for poor behaviour. We all have bad days, even 'stressful' if you want to over-egg it, but there's no need to be so rude to someone trying to help you. The truth is more like she is a thick, over-entitled fool.

I went postal last night about the state of the kitchen

Oooh, what did you do? Stamp your feet?

^^What Hardbackwriter wrote!

Next time smile and let an employee deal with it, she was unpleasant to say the least but the situation escalated because you butted in. My general rule is remember people rarely do things out of malice but often make mistakes I bet she feels awful about it.

@ScorpioSphinxInACalicoDress we all change a lot if we have any sense. In fact post doxing and data leaks I’d recommend a burner email and a new username if you’ve used it since 2004. I’m being serious and not funny on that. It’s a really minor point I’ve made, but it’s very good to be aware of what is available. People will AS and pick apart every word, find posts from years ago with inconsistencies for example.

Yes I was being a bit of a cow, sorry @Ellisandra I’m frustrated and picked up on you.

I understand what people say about being irritated by certain factors, but not of them would get me shouting at others. That’s the bit.

@Hardbackwriter she was face to face to me about 1m away, hard to ignore- I’ve explained why my friend didn’t answer quickly. I tried to be well meaning and help, I see now that irritates many people. I’ll stop in future and walk on.

Regarding a chat, yes it’s fine. Two people are not a huddle and we can still be human regardless of Covid. I’d do it again if a friend had some sad news and approached me, I wouldn’t cite Covid and ignore them. We’re still human . No one was in need of coming near us.

Well, she shouldn't have shouted. Is that what you want everyone to say? I don't really know what you thought you were going to get from this thread.

@Time40

I went postal last night about the state of the kitchen

Oooh, what did you do? Stamp your feet?

🤣🤣🤣

It's all part and 'parcel' of having a family.

" I don't really know what you thought you were going to get from this thread."

I agree. If you have encounter like this and the first thing you do is want to have a massive discussion on line about it, you are clearly having a good life, ie nothing else going wrong in the world.

Skating- don't worry, I have had a burner email since Jeffrey and change that regularly too!

Regarding a chat, yes it’s fine. Two people are not a huddle and we can still be human regardless of Covid. I’d do it again if a friend had some sad news and approached me, I wouldn’t cite Covid and ignore them. We’re still human . No one was in need of coming near us.

The whole thing would have been avoided if you'd left her workplace for your chat. It's always going to cause confusion and annoyance if staff, in uniform, are visible but not actually available to help.

I was a stressy bitch when I tried to use the self-service machine at the Post Office a few years ago. The woman came over to help me and I was quite snippy, then burst into tears. I had just given up smoking.

OP
I thought you were talking about my ex-friend till you said she was 30. That is precisely how she acts if something goes slightly wrong for her. Every trip anywhere had a number of these tantrums. It was exhausting.
Hence the ex.....

I forgot to add that there was nothing wrong with ex-friend other that being a nasty overly dramatic prat.