To think I can save my marriage after infidelity(mine)?

[Shehz21]

I'm posting here for traffic and want to get opinions/read about experiences from anyone who has cheated in their marriage.

I have cheated on DH who I've been married to for 4 years during lockdown. I have always been the exemplary wife, mother(we have a 3 year old DD) and everyone always looked up to us as being the ideal couple. I started feeling extremely lonely during lockdown and think I got caught up in the whole "new man giving attention to me" situation. I extremely regret and came clean to my husband few days ago about the emotional side of the relationship and the next day he spoke to OM and OM told him about the physical side of it. DH is totally broken as he genuinely loved and cared about me so much. He says he can never trust or love me again and staying in this marriage will only make me miserable as he won't be able to be the old him again. I really want to save my marriage and need to know whether it is possible to survive this together? Will he ever be able to love me again? Is there anything I can do from my side to bring that love out of him again?
The affair lasted 4 months and ended because I was feeling extremely guilty about cheating on DH which is why I came clean to him the same day I ended the affair. Only thing is I failed to tell him about the times I slept with OM and he had to hear it from him. Can anyone who has been through this situation help me please or share your thoughts/experiences?

You'll never repair this. Your poor husband

Fake.
Must be a troll.

I'd see it as a double betrayal- you told him you'd had an emotional affair and when he asked the other person involved then got told you'd been sleeping together- you didn't respect him enough to tell him that yourself- did you think you could get away with that? Unfortunately- it's not up to you- if he doesn't want to continue, there is nothing you can do. You can suggest counselling, that you're willing to work with him, but your want to continue in the marriage doesn't trumped his desire to leave.

You're a cheat and a liar and you've ruined your husbands life because someone made you feel pretty. I've seen this happen so many times to friends and its so incredibly selfish.

If you ended the affair why did you have to hurt your husband by telling him about it?
Just to assuage your guilt.
Stupid.

It really isn't something that I would be able to forgive if it happened to me. Even if I were to stay with whoever it was initially. I know id constantly be wondering, never trusting and bringing it up in every arguement. It would not be worth the heartache for me.

I was cheated on. It hurt, took time to heal and I could never trust him afterwards. He couldn't accept that he would need to build my trust up again.

You didn't feel guilty for the four months you cheated on him. If you had of done, you would've stopped it and if you truly wanted to be with him, you wouldn't have cheated in the first place. You also weren't entirely honest when you did try to become clean so he found out the whole story for the OM when it should bave been from you.

You need to give him time. Don't force the issue, it's not your place to do that. You've hurt him and broken his trust. If he wants to make a go of it again you will need to talk about why you did it, why you allowed it to go for fours months (yes you allowed that) and what youre going to do to try and get some kind of relationship back and don't expect him to trust you right away. That's only if, he wants you back. Don't be surprised if he doesn't