To feel judgmental over actor Chris Pratt playing golf 4 days after his wife gave birth?

[QuarantineDream]

Obviously I'm BU in the sense it's none of my business but I'm a fan of his movies and this has kind of soured how I feel about him.

If I'd just had my first baby and my husband fucked off for a day of golf (it's not a short game is it?) I'd be devastated, even with all the help she's no doubt getting from family/staff etc.

Also can you just imagine if it had been the other way round and it had been Katherine who'd left her newborn for a day at the spa? The comments on her Instagram would be brutal. Barely an eyebrow raised on his...

@SnackSizeRaisin

‘Managed’ ‘helped’ ‘moral support’ - for their own child. Imagine seeing your own child as something you have to ‘help out’ with.

My husband can also manage fine on his own and doesn't need my moral support whilst I go out for a morning. (Sometimes I come back in the afternoon to help out, if he has something he needs to do). Is that ok, or do both parents need to be there at all times?

‘Manage’! ‘Help out’ - he’s their father! Of course he can ‘manage’ - Jesus Christ, look at the language you use about him, do you honestly not see it?

Anything he wants’ - not being with his own newborn. He chooses something he wants more than being with his own tiny baby and you see that as the fault of the mother? Warped.

I don't think it's odd that either parent would want a break from a newborn. It's no one's fault and nor is it warped! Grandparents often come to help for a few hours so that parents can have a break. Personally I did not need this but I know lots of people who did - it can be a very difficult time for some new parents. It does not mean they don't love their baby or that they are warped. How unpleasant!

He’s not father of the year if he ‘manages’ to look after his own children without your input. They are not your sole responsibility, you don’t have to provide moral support. He’s a parent.

@QuarantineDream

Yeah the way it ended with Anna Farris didn't seem great. I've given him the benefit of the doubt before but he certainly comes across as regressive.

Jurassic World really annoyed me as well with the redhead running round in heels and a perfect bob for most of the film.

I agree with you about JW, OP. I thought it was one of the most regressive films I've ever seen and made me quite cross at the time. She was literally writhing on the floor in a split skirt and stilettos in front of a T Rex at one point! 🙄

Manage’! ‘Help out’ - he’s their father! Of course he can ‘manage’ - Jesus Christ, look at the language you use about him, do you honestly not see it?

So it's not ok for either of us to be able to look after our baby alone without the other one being there? I used exactly the same language about me as about him.

He left his four day old baby to play golf.

I don't care what he was doing. A round of golf won't affect the bonding process.

Nor would a pedicure or a spa.

why does he not want to be around his four day old baby? What kind of father is that?

A pretty normal one in my experience. They’re not exactly riveting.

YABU OP

@SnackSizeRaisin

Anything he wants’ - not being with his own newborn. He chooses something he wants more than being with his own tiny baby and you see that as the fault of the mother? Warped.

I don't think it's odd that either parent would want a break from a newborn. It's no one's fault and nor is it warped! Grandparents often come to help for a few hours so that parents can have a break. Personally I did not need this but I know lots of people who did - it can be a very difficult time for some new parents. It does not mean they don't love their baby or that they are warped. How unpleasant!

But - as you know - that’s not what happened. He left his four day old baby to play golf. It’s irrelevant how the mother felt about it. It’s irrelevant that the grandparents could do it. He chose golf over his four day old baby. That’s sad. But not as sad as the number of people on here who then line up to give examples of how shit their husbands were with their own newborns as if it’s some kind of gotcha moment because they (the mothers, the wives’) gave permission.

@SnackSizeRaisin

Manage’! ‘Help out’ - he’s their father! Of course he can ‘manage’ - Jesus Christ, look at the language you use about him, do you honestly not see it?

So it's not ok for either of us to be able to look after our baby alone without the other one being there? I used exactly the same language about me as about him.

In both you implied the father of your children needs your input to look after them.

He is the worst but I imagine she has lots of paid help anyway, it's not like she's a struggling new mother with zero support. She can pay for her village.

It’s irrelevant how the mother felt about it. It’s irrelevant that the grandparents could do it. He chose golf over his four day old baby.

But one could just as easily say that about the mother going off for some 'me time'. The fact that she gave birth four days prior doesn't change the fact that, by your lights, she will have chosen a pedicure/spa/whatever over being hermetically sealed to her 4 day old baby. "What kind of mother does that?"

Oh, the horror.

He's neglectful of his pets so he's a scumbag as far as I'm concerned.

JFC some people really are pathetic.

After a few days I was sick of people. I wanted to just be alone. I'd been fussed, touched and talked to up to my eyeballs. So I have dismissed my DH to piss off and do something away from me.

Some people die in childbirth.
Some people walk out like it was nothing.

Newborns are boring. You don't need to sit and stare at them constantly to bond.

Some women dont have easy births or easy babies. Not all newborns are easy.

My first was an absolute nightmare, had a lip tie so could barely feed, he wouldn't sleep and had reflux and I had had a cs and lost a lot of blood had a blood transfusion and was so overwhelmed that I cried constantly...it was very unlike me. I needed my dp there for the first week or two.

With my second it was an easy birth,coupled with a well feeding well sleeping baby and I didnt need anyone with me despite having a toddler to look after too. It was two completely different situations.

I hate when a woman thinks every baby and birt is the same just because it was easy for them.

He's neglectful of his pets so he's a scumbag as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not familiar with this story. What happened with the pets?

@Pumperthepumper well mine wasn’t off playing golf as we had a winter baby and it was freezing, far too cold for golf. I have an amazing husband though thanks 🤗. Second child he was looking after the first child, I was left alone at times though when he was off shopping etc, amazingly I coped. There isn’t much a man can do when you are breastfeeding a baby really.

In both you implied the father of your children needs your input to look after them.

No - I first said I could manage without his moral support whilst he went out for a few hours. You didn't like that so I then reversed the wording and said that he could also manage fine alone for a few hours. But you didn't like that either!

@Butchyrestingface

It’s irrelevant how the mother felt about it. It’s irrelevant that the grandparents could do it. He chose golf over his four day old baby.

But one could just as easily say that about the mother going off for some 'me time'. The fact that she gave birth four days prior doesn't change the fact that, by your lights, she will have chosen a pedicure/spa/whatever over being hermetically sealed to her 4 day old baby. "What kind of mother does that?"

Oh, the horror.

I explained, patiently, why its different - the fact that you didn’t respond to that part of my post speaks volumes.

I explained, patiently, why its different - the fact that you didn’t respond to that part of my post speaks volumes.

You've lost me, I'm afraid. I don't believe it IS different to judge either of them differently given what you're judging him on.

I left my first child with my husband the week after he was born and I went out for an evening for approx 4 hours. This was nearly 25 years ago. He is now a fully functioning adult with no long term issues as mum and dad didn’t spend every spare second “bonding” with him.

@SnackSizeRaisin

Manage’! ‘Help out’ - he’s their father! Of course he can ‘manage’ - Jesus Christ, look at the language you use about him, do you honestly not see it?

So it's not ok for either of us to be able to look after our baby alone without the other one being there? I used exactly the same language about me as about him.

Some people seem to use a baby as a reason to stop their husband doing anything he wants

Sure, you’re all about equal parenting.

@Butchyrestingface

I explained, patiently, why its different - the fact that you didn’t respond to that part of my post speaks volumes.

You've lost me, I'm afraid. I don't believe it IS different to judge either of them differently given what you're judging him on.

Of course you don’t.

To be honest I don't think I would have left my husband with the baby for 4 hours when she was 4 days old. He couldn't breast feed for a start. But that doesn't mean I minded him going out. Of course if things were really difficult and I wanted him to stay he would have done so. The baby is obviously the first priority but it doesn't mean all the other things that he enjoyed doing had to be dropped completely. A bit different for me as I was restricted by birth injuries! But that's life unfortunately!

This is such a bizarre thread.
I certainly wouldn't begrudge my husband a game of golf and he wouldn't begrudge me a few hours away either. We both just support each other equally which means being there together when needed and having some time off when needed too.