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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed myself

104 replies

Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 07:24

I made a fool of my self at a family party a few weeks back. My Auntie invited me over for a garden breakfast this morning but I’ve since found out my cousins (from a different aunt) are coming too - they are the ones I was embarrassing in front of. I was a loud know it all (not normally like that but had stopped drinking for 6 months before so was out of practice)

Is it acceptable to cancel? I have anxiety issues as it is and this is making me feel hot and sick!

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 15/08/2020 07:28

It’s better to face our demons. It won’t initially be comfortable but you’ll get over it and they probably already have. Maybe your aunt is offering you an opportunity to show a calmer, quieter and more considerate you that she knows and loves.
Go and be nice. Apologise or laugh it off.

toomuchfaster · 15/08/2020 07:33

Go or your anxiety will eat you up about it forever. If anyone says anything, laugh it off with an explanation as given above.

WinWinnieTheWay · 15/08/2020 07:34

Show up and apologise, but laugh about it. No one is perfect, being able to recognise that in ourselves is a strength.

MistyMinge2 · 15/08/2020 07:35

Wouldn't it be better to go and get it over with. You can't hide from them forever and the chances are that you've thought about it a lot more than they have. Just make a joke of it and say you can't handle your drink these days and sorry if you were being a bit of a twat. I'm sure the anticipation will be the worst bit. You'll probably come away feeling much better.

BeyondMyWits · 15/08/2020 07:35

Turn up, say "oh my god, I got so drunk last time - I am SO sorry"

then move on.

Isthisnothing · 15/08/2020 07:35

Brazen through, seriously it'll all be over in a moment. Just say "sorry about the last time I saw you, I hadn't been drinking in a while so was out of practice".

They will probably respond with
"I was way worse than you"
"I don't remember"
"I didn't notice"
"Don't worry about it at all".

And that will be that.

Original poster
Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 07:36

I can’t even face the idea of getting myself up and ready for it currently. I don’t even know how I was so drunk, we aren’t really that close which I think makes it worse because it would be easier to laugh it off if we were. I don’t even have their phone numbers! I don’t know if I would feel better if I could remember what I was saying.

OP posts:
SarahBellam · 15/08/2020 07:36

Go, go and style it out. Go and put your your anxiety to rest. Even if you just stay for an hour you will feel so much better after.

rwalker · 15/08/2020 07:37

Face it out say something like "don't worry only drinking coffee today so won't be making a tit of myself"

BalanchineBallet · 15/08/2020 07:38

Yes, go. Go, start with “thank goodness there’s no booze this morning, evidently
I couldn’t be trusted to moderate last time- sorry, most unlike me!”

Then say your normal “thanks
auntie for the invitation- how is everyone?” And off you go.

ChangingStates · 15/08/2020 07:39

Agree with others, go and apologise, I am sure no one will have minded as much as you think they do and just about everyone has been embarrassed by drunken behaviour at least once in their lives so will understand.
If you don't go the anxiety and avoidance will continue to plague you.
You could try calling them in advance and saying sorry before the get together if that feels easier.

Original poster
Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 07:39

@Isthisnothing they definitely do remember because they were taking the mick then and there! Why have I done this to myself.

I have indigestion from the stress of it all, I’m not sure how well pastry will help with this.

OP posts:
Ughmaybenot · 15/08/2020 07:39

You must go or it’ll only be worse next time. Go, apologise, laugh it off. Say you were out of practice and overdid it and you were embarrassed, and if they’re nice, decent people, they’ll probably play it down and either way, that’ll be the end of it.

ginghamtablecloths · 15/08/2020 07:46

Go, and when you first see them just say sorry about your behaviour last time and mention that you were having a bad time of it. Then change the subject and enjoy the rest of the day. We all make mistakes OP.

AIMD · 15/08/2020 07:47

Just go and get it over with. Look at it this way, if you get over seeing them now it’ll be over and done with. If you don’t are you going to continue to miss family events?

Original poster
Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 07:49

My plan was to avoid them until a funeral and by then we would be too distracted to be bothered about me being a cock!

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 15/08/2020 07:55

If they were teasing you, they weren’t offended more amused and knowing it was a G&T too many. They’ll be kind.

MsVestibule · 15/08/2020 07:56

Fingers crossed a family member dies soonish then, eh?!

Seriously, this is one of those awkward situations that you just have to style out. Practice a few responses, plenty of good ideas above. If they still bang on about it, just say lightly 'good grief, are we STILL talking about this? Surely lockdown hasn't been so dull for you that this was the most memorable thing to happen?'.

Just get in the shower, get ready and get over to your aunt's house. These things are never as bad as we expect them to be.

Bluntness100 · 15/08/2020 07:58

Just go and style it out. You need to replace the last memory of you with a new memory and assign the last one to the bin.

Not going means they just think even less of you op. So not only are you a piss head you’re anti social 🤣

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 15/08/2020 07:58

Just go! They won't care!

itsgettingweird · 15/08/2020 08:01

@Newnamenewopenme

My plan was to avoid them until a funeral and by then we would be too distracted to be bothered about me being a cock!
Sorry but that did make me laugh as a plan. Genius actually!

Seriously don't stress it. If you really don't even have their numbers who actually cares what they think?

Plus many people have been there and done that. It's hardly crime of the century.

AIMD · 15/08/2020 08:01

@Newnamenewopenme

My plan was to avoid them until a funeral and by then we would be too distracted to be bothered about me being a cock!
So you’re going to avoid other family event and probably stress longer if you don’t go to this meet up? Sounds like more stress and worry than just going. I know it’ll be scary but once it’s over and your home you won’t have to worry about it again.
PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2020 08:02

Just go. Next time it will be worse and it if it a funeral (I hope it won’t be), you won’t want the extra stress of worrying about this.

minou123 · 15/08/2020 08:04

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

I once was very drunk in a taxi queue. I declared to the whole queue how I was so fabulous, richer than all of them. What possessed me to say these things, I'll never know. I still die inside, remembering it!

The other time was with colleagues at a dinner, with some senior managers. Got drunk and loud.
At the end I decided to collect the money for the bill. I stood up, loud and proud and declared "Like Bob Geldof said, GIVE US YOUR MONEYYYYYY".
I was so embarrassed and was petrified to go to work on Monday. But everyone was very kind and we all had a laugh about it.

I promise you'll be fine.

Ughmaybenot · 15/08/2020 08:05

Stop 😂 that’s a terrible plan. Really, it’ll be better for you to face it now.
I got wasted at a family bbq not so long ago and made the effort to see most other attendees within the next week. You know what their reaction is then, one way or the other, and you don’t have to stew on the worse case scenario for weeks, or even months.