Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed myself

104 replies

Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 07:24

I made a fool of my self at a family party a few weeks back. My Auntie invited me over for a garden breakfast this morning but I’ve since found out my cousins (from a different aunt) are coming too - they are the ones I was embarrassing in front of. I was a loud know it all (not normally like that but had stopped drinking for 6 months before so was out of practice)

Is it acceptable to cancel? I have anxiety issues as it is and this is making me feel hot and sick!

OP posts:
YorkshireTeaIsTheBest · 15/08/2020 08:54

I would go -can you take them a small gift ? box of chocolates and a card -I'd write in -I am so sorry for my behaviour last time we met and if I made the time difficult or uncomfortable for you, I'm so sorry.

Personally I do that and apologise and steer clear of the drink.

I don't know the situation but I once went to a wedding and one member of the family got drunk and was very unpleasant. I'll be honest I loathed them for it (they didn't ruin the wedding)but they were obnoxious at the reception to a small group of us (they thought it was funny) and for me it was the first weekend away without my kids and we had paid a fortune for the hotel. So to be insulted along with my parents etc really wasn't nice. It was awful for us - not so for them -they were drunk. But upsetting for us. 4 weeks later through the post we all got a card all different. With an honest, heartful apology. They also sent my mum and dad a lovely gift card for a meal out -for the 5 of us, totally unexpected. My father in particular was upset at the time -but it was a trigger for him as his own father was an alcoholic. We all accepted the apology in full but the next time we met said person was nice, apologetic and did not drink a drop.

There is also a difference between embarrassing and offensive. In our case the person was offensive.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 15/08/2020 08:55

I wouldn't care if I was them. I bet they aren't even thinking about it. Just laugh it off! They will have had embarrassing moments too.

MyNameIsArthur · 15/08/2020 08:56

If you only see them once a year, I guess you could cancel and their memory of the embarrassing event may diminish.

However you could just go with your head held high and they can see that actually you have a sensible and charming side. If they mention anything, just laugh it off.

The good thing is generally people don't really give a shit that much to remember especially as time passes Flowers

combatbarbie · 15/08/2020 08:56

Your anxiety is getting the better of you here. Just brazen it out, honestly it will be fine. Voice of experience, we've all done it😉

Bluntness100 · 15/08/2020 08:57

Christ don’t aapologise and bring it up again, don’t say anything unless they do. And certainly don’t bring them gifts with a card apologising, I’d think you were an absolute wet blanket.

Just own it, you have nothing to apologise for. So what you got drunk and were a bit of a know it all and loud. You weren’t rude to them. You owe them no apology.

daisychain1620 · 15/08/2020 09:00

Yes you definitely should go, it'll not be the easiest or nicest thing to do but you'll feel better after as you can apologise, deal with it and move on. Good luck

MilerVino · 15/08/2020 09:02

Thinking about it, there was the time at the office Christmas party when I got horribly drunk and spent most of the evening in the toilets being sick. I was dreadfully embarrassed but pretty much everyone just thought it was funny (I was in my mid 20s, old enough to think I should know better but young enough that I didn't).

One person didn't let it go but endlessly took the piss out of me for months. In doing so, she became the bad guy. None of my colleagues really cared what I'd done and would have long forgotten it but Sharon's piss-taking got soundly knocked back.

Notmoresugar · 15/08/2020 09:03

Also been there and got the t-shirt.
Honestly go and face your fears - it will be absolutely fine.
If anythings mentioned (it won't) just say so sorry I don't usually drink, then laugh it off and change the subject and show them how wonderful you really are.

Sally872 · 15/08/2020 09:06

You are not the first drunk person they have seen and very likely they are surprised, possibly found it funny. If you had done anything terribly offensive you would know already. Go you will feel much better afterwards and you can't avoid them forever.

Spied · 15/08/2020 09:07

Go or you'll only be sat ruminating all day.
Go and within five minutes of being in their company you will feel much better about it all.
If it's mentioned just be honest and tell them you'd stopped drinking previously so it went to your head when you had a few glasses.
Then say "I'm not the first and won't be the last" and move on.

Wannabefarmer · 15/08/2020 09:10

Unless you were offensive or rude I wouldn't even apologise. If anyone mentions you were drunk just shrug and say "yeah, it happens" and move on. I doubt men ever feel the need to apologise for acting a bit of a tit when drunk.

Bahhhhhumbug · 15/08/2020 09:12

Go, you must really, we'll all go with you. Do live updates and vipers good posters of Mumsnet will be on hand with a good retort if they do bang on about it. They sound quite judgey actually, nothing worse than sanctimonious non drinkers when you've had one or two yourself.

CiderJolly · 15/08/2020 09:12

I think anxiety can make you overthink everything. I promise the only person that cares so much about how you came across is you. Everyone else will have other things to think about. You’re magnifying this in your head.

Your aunt obviously enjoys your company as she invited you again.

You didn’t do anything particularly embarrassing from what I can gather. Just learn from it and don’t get drunk again- not because of what you were like then but because of how you’re clearly suffering now.

Echobelly · 15/08/2020 09:17

Yes, I would go and face it, the chances are they barely remember it - people think much less about other people than we tend to think!

JackPaul · 15/08/2020 09:17

Just go. You haven't killed anyone. You wont be the first or last to get drunk and make a silly arse of yourself. It will be fine.

Echobelly · 15/08/2020 09:20

OP - has anyone told you you embarrassed yourself (and if they did, were they a very judgmental person or someone who likes to watch people squirm?) or is that just your perception? Because if any of the above is the case I can almost guarantee you that no one will have given it a second thought.

Italiangreyhound · 15/08/2020 09:32

Of course you can cancel but please don't setup that president! Just say something like 'oh sorry I was a bit loud last week' or don't say anything.

You are OK. So you were loud. So what. If you were rude, maybe apologise BUT put it behind you. You are OK.

You deserve a nice breakfast with your aunt. Flowers

TitsOutForHarambe · 15/08/2020 09:50

Just go, head held high. If they mention it just laugh and say "haha, yeah, I had a VERY good time, but i paid for it the next morning!" All bright and breezey

GoodDogBellaBoo · 15/08/2020 09:51

Sadly there is no black hole to swallow you up in situations like this, but if there was I can assure you it would be full of other equally embarressed women down there. Like others said, just face it and go.

LouiseTrees · 15/08/2020 09:57

Just go. Apologise straight away and say you’ve learned your lesson and will never drink like that again. Say you don’t remember what you said and hope it wasn’t awful.

NoProblem123 · 15/08/2020 10:03

They might have loved drunk, loud, funny you.
They’re planning on meeting you again so you couldn’t have been that bad or there would be an ‘AIBU to avoid crazy drunk relative’ thread on here.
Don’t let them down - go, and have a few cheeky vinos on the way Wine

UseItUp · 15/08/2020 10:07

I’ll go with you OP!

Original poster
Newnamenewopenme · 15/08/2020 10:08

Bumped into my friend on the way and she said I’m always a bellend so they won’t have noticed - great support there!

I’m outside!! Wish me luck.

OP posts:
Grumpymum789 · 15/08/2020 10:11

Another voice saying just go and brazen it out! It’s the perfect opportunity to redeem yourself!
Don’t drink this time, and if anyone brings it up, just agree and say gosh I was an idiot, I’d not drunk in ages and it really hit me.
That’s a perfectly fine explanation- I wouldn’t go in apologising at the start and only explain with the above if someone else brings it up.

BlogTheBlogger · 15/08/2020 10:13

A garden breakfast what a great idea! And no chance of getting drunk (or a lesser chance!) Hope it goes well

Swipe left for the next trending thread