Embarrassed myself

[Newnamenewopenme]

I made a fool of my self at a family party a few weeks back. My Auntie invited me over for a garden breakfast this morning but I’ve since found out my cousins (from a different aunt) are coming too - they are the ones I was embarrassing in front of. I was a loud know it all (not normally like that but had stopped drinking for 6 months before so was out of practice)

Is it acceptable to cancel? I have anxiety issues as it is and this is making me feel hot and sick!

Your previous behaviour probably doesn’t occupy much (if any) part of their thoughts, they are too busy thinking about themselves, Rehearse hoe it will go in your head - you’ll apologise in a light way , they will laugh and you’ll move on to another subject. Maybe have a list of 3 subjects you’d all find interesting To talk about , so you know you’re good to go with this social situation .

Good luck, it'll be fine. Take deep breaths if you think it might get a bit much for you, whatever helps you. You'll feel so much better about yourself if you manage to get through without running off.

Have a good time.

Christ do NOT do what a pp said and take apology cards and gifts - how sodding ridiculous! She got drunk, she didn't sleep with someone's husband ffs.

You'll be fine op. We've all been there.

Good luck op. Placemarking, hoping you're able to have a nice time.

@Kittykat93

Christ do NOT do what a pp said and take apology cards and gifts - how sodding ridiculous! She got drunk, she didn't sleep with someone's husband ffs.

You'll be fine op. We've all been there.

True she doesnt want to look even more stupid

Though tbh if someone had slept with my husband am not sure an apology gift and card would quite cut it!

@Newnamenewopenme

Bumped into my friend on the way and she said I’m always a bellend so they won’t have noticed - great support there!

I’m outside!! Wish me luck.

Excellent...this made me laugh.....hope it went ok OP!

Don't let your anxiety ruin what could be a good day. Take a bit of ribbing (if there is any) and move on!

GO and when you meet those cousins just say 'I was a bit of a silly/nervous/ sleep deprived / drunk / whatever last time we met, so sorry, I'm not normally like that. So what have you been up to since lockdown/ ended etc OR don't mention it at all and just be sociable. Stay off the booze this time maybe if you're worried about a repeat.

Just go. And open with something like." How lovely to see you when I'm sober! After lockdown I hadn't had a drink. It hit me like a sledge hammer ". Laugh
And then ask how they are. And develop the conversation in a different direction. Gets it out of the way straight away.

Loads of people have been there and done that. Honestly, nobody cares much about other people's antics.

Look on the bright side.If you'd been that bad, you wouldn't have been invited. And it's breakfast, so stick to tea/coffee.

if i hid everytime i embarassed myself i wouldnt work or see anybody

They've probably forgotten all about it; you're not the centre if the universe.

If you don't go this is going to get in the way of family life for years to come. Or, you can go, face a few moments of embarrassment until you realise nobody else gives a hoot, and put it all behind you.

Its all in your hands.

We all do things like this sometimes. Don’t over think it. Laugh it off & you’ll be fine.

To be honest as long as you weren't actually slagging of your cousins or there children last time it will be fine .if one said to me hi look I am sorry for being an arse last time my response would be laugh and say christ dont worry we have all had a bit much at one time end off you are human

I don't see why you have to mention it if they don't 🤷‍♀️

If they do, just laugh it off. You're over thinking it OP. Enjoy your breakfast!

How did the breakfast go?

Hi OP did you face It?

Hope it went ok.

I once got so drunk, and I was an absolute dickhead, basically just cried over my ex, told him I loved him, tried to kiss him (was promptly rejected) then decided to flirt and dance with someone else to make him jealous (I actually remember him eye rolling and laughing) I wish I’d got so drunk I couldn’t remember what I did, but I do and honestly it makes me die inside when I think of it, 14 years on! We’re friends now (he came out as Gay about 3 months later) and he finds it hilarious to remind me of it!

Hiding away from your fears and anxiety will never help you, and just teach your brain it’s okay to bury your head in the sand and avoid scary situations. It’s not; that leads to worsening and recurring anxiety.

OP come back and let us know how you got on!
Unless she had a drink or two at breakfast and is currently dancing naked in the aunt's garden......

Sorry! My phones been playing up so not been able to update. When I went in I said oh don’t worry I’m sober today, then my cousin announced she was really hungover and wasn’t going to come because she had been throwing up. After that my other cousin chipped in that their brother turned up as I left the other week and was sick in the garden and they all ended up having a few.... so I think that removed their memory of me!

Can’t believe I was so worked up. I wouldn’t have gone if you hadn’t all made me feel forced, so thanks!

The more you confront your fears the more you will realise you’re totally forgettable - and that’s a good thing!

People don’t remember the small things that run around in your head days/weeks/months after the event; they’re only significant to you.

Aww I'm so glad your mind has been put to rest. There's nothing worse than 'the fear'.
Imagine if you hadn't gone, you would still be re playing it in your head and really it was nothing. I'm sure you're releaved!

Well done @Newnamenewopenme

You should be proud of yourself, you felt the fear and did it anyway and you didn’t allow your anxiety to control you. That’s cause for celebration- maybe with a cup of tea 😁